You just can't make this stuff up

So, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others- it just isn't polite. BUT every once in a while something happens in the news that is so outrageous that you just gotta guffaw. And, since no one was seriously injured or killed, I feel it deserves inclusion in my "only in the south" or "you just can't make this stuff up" categories. So, at some random trailer park in some small South Carolina town this guy gets in an argument with some 'friends'. He leaves the trailer in a huff. Across the street, he spies a track-hoe. You know, big bulldozer thing with caterpillar like tracks and a scoop. He figures out how to get his revenge on those who have wronged him mightily, and he mounts the machine like his trusty steed. Next thing you know, he's plowed through two different mobile homes before running away- only to be caught later. I think what makes this most humourous to me is that it all takes place on a road called "Ford Truck Trail." (I think its part of a larger planned community called "Manifold Acres.")

That's what really makes me smile- the road name. I've always chuckled at the way we name roads, especially in the south. There are the really obvious ones- Pineville-Matthews Road is the road that connects Pineville to Matthews. Pisgah Church Road is the road where Pisgah Church is located. Our house is off Farmview- you know the road with the big farm at the top that has an incredible view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Then you get the historical names: Old Highway 11 for example, (the road that used to be Highway 11 before Hwy 11 got rerouted) or those named for famous people: the Washingtons, Jeffersons, Jacksons and MLK Blvds. Let's not forget my favorite- those named for a little known explorer, who strayed just off the beaten path and invented pecan logs- that Frenchman of reknown: Jean-Luc Front'age. All over the country, roads just off the beaten path bear his name proudly- Frontage!

Or place names based on ownership- Johnny Smith Road and Johnson Street (they run on land owned by the Smiths and the Johnsons respectively). But my favorites are those where you have to stop and think about where they came from: Old Brick Factory Road- can't you see the D.O.T. representative walking up to some old farmer- "Excuse me, can you look at this map and tell me what this road is called?" "You mean the one that goes down past the old brick factory?" "yep- I think there's an old factory down there- is that what they made? Bricks?" "Nope. They made tractors there, but they built the building outta brick." "Oh. I see." As he writes the name down on the map for generations to come.

Don't you wonder where some names come from? Who thinks them up? What about Possum Kingdom? Or the subdivision I passed called "Heaven Trees" where the roads were Angelic Ash, Holly Harps, or Majestic Magnolia? What do you make of Fallout Shelter Road? How about Ashley Phosphate? State Park Road? Two Notch Road? White Horse Road? Old Bent Bridge Road? Amanda's Autumn Lane? And let's not forget how we got here- Ford Truck Trail. I'm thinking it ran between Chevy Camaro Court and Plymouth Place. Or maybe it was the road that ran behind the Ford dealership, or better yet, it's where an old Ford Truck was found rotting in the weeds when they went to pave the road. Whatever the case- I hope life is a little quieter over there on Ford Truck Trail now they've caught the guy on the Track-hoe. Let me know of any more roads worthy of inclusion on the list- I'm telling you, you can't make stuff like this up- its too funny!

Food Farming and Religion

Was crusing around and found this link to a great NY Times article on food and religion. I particularly like the ending quote as I hope I am not qualified as either a bran muffin earthie or a home schooler- still, you gotta like the "trend".

The Restaurant Idea

So, part of the genesis for titling this blog came from the fact that I often come up with ideas, inventions, and well, yes, theories about things. George is a very rooted individual, not given to flights of fancy, and I think he gets tired of hearing my fool proof ideas- he likes that I have a place to vent them. He also doesn't want to admit that sometimes my ideas are really excellent and if he had invested in them, we'd be rich.

Take for example the idea I came up with about 4-5 years ago. I was trying to show my grandmother, who was bed-ridden in a nursing facility at the time, digital pictures of her great-grandchildren. I did at least, have a laptop, and could put it on a slide show and put it on her "lap" and let her see them. I say lap, because when you are lying in bed, you don't really have much of a lap- more of a mid-section. Anyway, I thought it would be awesome if we had a type of viewer, or screen, that was about the size of a picture frame, and you slid a CD or disk/usb in and the viewer then showed a slide show of your pictures on the disk. It would be about 8x10x3 inches- not very heavy- battery powered and very portable. Maybe some brightness, speed control features on the side. No sound, but just a picture viewer. George hears the ideas, nods, agrees it is a worthy idea and that's where it stops. Fast Forward to last Christmas, and all of the major electronics stores, and even my local CVS have this very product! Digital Picture Frames- retailing for about $100. Of course, other than my word for it, you have no proof I came up with this idea first.

So- here are two of my best ideas, born out of parenting frustrations, that have yet to be realized, and I'll claim whatever trademark/patent pending/intellectual property I can. So if you steal the idea- I can say I deserve a cut! Here goes: The first is more of a concept than a product. I just read a friend's blog describing the horrible experience of taking active children to a public eatery and trying to have even a snippet of adult conversation while keeping the steak knife out of the 4 year olds hands. What if there were a restaurant where you went in with your family, and we shown to your seats and handed menus (no counters for ordering or trays for carrying food to your table). The tables were comfy and maybe even had nice placemats or (gasp) a tablecloth (I'd be okay with a plastic covered table cloth even). While you looked over the possibilities of good, basic american fare- healthy sorts- not all chicken nuggets (but maybe some on the side for the wee ones). You know, quiche, salads, sandwiches, pasta, burgers etc. Then, once you glance at the menu, the kids can run off to the staffed kids play place! Just like at chick-fil-a or McDonalds- slides, ladders, general run and play mayhem. And there's a college student aged type person who moderates/mediates and generally keeps the mojo flowing amongst the tykes. Meanwhile, the adults sit in peace and quiet, talking and generally enjoying a minute or two while the food is prepared. When the food is ready, its brought to the table, the kids are summoned to come to the table and dinner is served. After 2.6 minutes, when the kids are done- they can go back to playing while the adults finish chewing their first bites. When the adults have had enough time, they pay the bill, leaving an oh-so-hefty tip for the good tasting, unrushed and fulfilling meal. What a concept, eh? I'd eat there at least twice a week.

The second idea is also food centered. I salute Chik-fil-a and like eateries for the innovations in sauce dipping cups. Anytime you get honey mustard, bbq or polynesian sauce, it comes in this nice plastic cup that contains all the sauce in one place, but opens up wide enough for dipping into. Great for the nuggets. But, what about the ketchup for the fries? Well, for that you have to rip open about 4 of those little ketchup packets and squeeze them onto a couple of well placed napkins, making a ketchup pond for dipping into. Why, of why for the love of all things simple, can they not put the ketchup in one of those cool plastic dipping cups? I haven't seen anyone spread their ketchup on top of their fries in years- and as far as ketchup in the car for to-go orders? Fogettaboutit!

And remember- if these hit the market- I get a cut!

It's not easy being Green

So, besides the tip of the hat to the muppets and Kermit, and the inference to simple, earth-friendly living, this actually has to do with a little quiz I took. You answer 5-6 questions, and then you get designated a 'shade' of green. It's fun to think everyone is assumed to be green, just need to figure out which shade you are. Now, I really like what my shade says about me, I would like to think it is all true. I also know that no matter what shade you get, it is a little like a horoscope- all good news. I doubt anyone gets "You are Puke Green- everyone hates you and you smell." So, that being said, I just want it known that I'm not a big fan of the actual color of Olive Green. Too military drab green, too 1970's shag carpet green, too...well, I'm just not a big fan. I'm sure there are many for whom Olive Green is their favorite shade. Maybe if I change some answers I'll get a different shade.... for what it's worth- here's the descriptor, and click the link to find out your shade!

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?