I am always harping on consistency. Someone said it was the hobgoblin of little minds. I suppose I do have a capacity for greater thinking and an abstract level that allows for dichotomies and contradictions to coexist peacefully. There are many examples in my life- my personal thoughts about evolution and creation, or the existence of hell, or when I want to blow my own mind I start thinking about time space continuums- hard to even have those thoughts without some serious open endedness. So it's not like I am super-rigid and need everyone and everything to be black or white.
However, comma, I do seem to have a need for those in the political/social rhetoric area to "stick to message" as it were. For example- I am highly irritated when you say one thing and do another when you are in the public spotlight- especially when you are begging for the public's attention! So, choose whether states rights is dominant or not- if Arizona can decide what to do about immigration then Illinois can make their own gun laws. If you won't accept federal policy to change health insurance, then stop accepting federal stimulus money. If you berate people for not supporting UN millenial development goals and spending their money to save the poor, then don't spend MILLIONS on lawsuits to keep old buildings while you tacitly uphold the wall street system of capitalism (get yours now and worry about the rest later). If we can't play judge about the value of a fetus' life because we don't have to power to legislate life, then we shouldn't support the death penalty. If you want immigration reform and you are worried about anchor babies, don't also lament that the constitution won't allow a certain Austrian born govenor to be president.
My latest hobgoblin comes in the form of two recent hullabaloos on the national stage. If you think Muslims should show some cultural sensitivity by not building a mosque/cultural center near ground zero, especially as we approach the actual anniversary date, even though they have the legal right to, and it won't be seen from the site- then for pete's sake- show some cultural sensitivity of your own by not holding an almost totally WASP rally on the anniversary and very site of one of the best known speeches of the civil rights movement.
In all these cases, and more that rankle me every day, it is almost always a case of "the rules need to apply to them, but not necessarily to me." There's always a self-interest angle, I get it. But living in this inner circle of hell where Pride and the "all about me" world is all we are surrounded by, sure is getting old. I encouraged my child the other day to take back a paper where he was credited for a wrong answer. I did not require it of him, but I did say, "you sure would want your teacher to admit to and change a grade in your favor- but you need to do the same and show that it works both ways." He did, and as I expected, his teacher still gave him full credit for his honesty. But I hope that he will learn something from that- when you are working with people and trying to get something done, it pays to be honest, to own up to who you are, and to say and mean the same things. Rules apply to everyone equally- (this also makes me in favor of a flat tax).That's a stretch I know, but a mother can always hope.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
day15 half way
My thoughts today turn to an odd topic: depression. I say odd, because I don't really have any experience or knowledge of it- so I don't feel very qualified to speak on the subject. I do know that I have been blessed to not battle that particular illness- and I seem to know a large number of people who have done so and are doing so. I know that there is a large market out there and the pharmaceuticals seem to have convinced at least a decent potion of the doctors that medications are a great solution. I know there are also alternative treatments- most notably exercise and diet. I guess that as someone who hasn't ever really dealt with it (my emotional state is usually pretty constant and mediocre. No big highs or lows- boring in one sense, but it helps me keep my head in an emergency) I would like to understand depression and associated issues like anxiety and bi-polar a little better. I also try not to assume that just because I can get out of my funks with a little extra chocolate and some alone time that everyone has that ability- or that they should. It would be easy and wrong of me to just say "get over it" to someone dealing with depression.
But sometimes I think that the doctors feel like if you come and see them and just aren't feeling great then they need some sort of answer for you. If you want to pay $125 for an office visit you should probably get more than "sometimes we all feel bad." So I do think it is like ADD- a bit over diagnosed. Not that people don't struggle with attention deficit or with persistent depression, but I'm not sure that everyone who is being diagnosed and taking medications for these have actually crossed the line to where that is the answer for what's going on. It's just easier to slap a label on it and give some medications than really get into some hard work involving real lifestyle change. I realize its probably better to err on the side of over diagnosis than under- but I wish our system were better able to do wholistic care that could spend more time looking at all the issues and not just slap a prescription on it.
The other thing I struggle with is the phenomenon wherby the person actually is appropriately diagnosed and gets better while taking the meds, but then because they feel so much better, they feel like they don't need those meds and then stop taking them and have a crash. I have seen it enough to recognize it in people I care about and know pretty well. I sometimes want to look my friends in the face and say, "go take your meds." But again, as someone who has no real experience or knowledge, I feel out of my depth and lacking in credibility to say something of that sort, especially that bluntly. So there you have it- just some random thoughts on that subject that have been on my mind lately. It's really still not something that I know enough about- but I am encouraged that it is much more accepted and talked about in general stigma-free terms. And I am blessed to not deal with it in a personal way.
But sometimes I think that the doctors feel like if you come and see them and just aren't feeling great then they need some sort of answer for you. If you want to pay $125 for an office visit you should probably get more than "sometimes we all feel bad." So I do think it is like ADD- a bit over diagnosed. Not that people don't struggle with attention deficit or with persistent depression, but I'm not sure that everyone who is being diagnosed and taking medications for these have actually crossed the line to where that is the answer for what's going on. It's just easier to slap a label on it and give some medications than really get into some hard work involving real lifestyle change. I realize its probably better to err on the side of over diagnosis than under- but I wish our system were better able to do wholistic care that could spend more time looking at all the issues and not just slap a prescription on it.
The other thing I struggle with is the phenomenon wherby the person actually is appropriately diagnosed and gets better while taking the meds, but then because they feel so much better, they feel like they don't need those meds and then stop taking them and have a crash. I have seen it enough to recognize it in people I care about and know pretty well. I sometimes want to look my friends in the face and say, "go take your meds." But again, as someone who has no real experience or knowledge, I feel out of my depth and lacking in credibility to say something of that sort, especially that bluntly. So there you have it- just some random thoughts on that subject that have been on my mind lately. It's really still not something that I know enough about- but I am encouraged that it is much more accepted and talked about in general stigma-free terms. And I am blessed to not deal with it in a personal way.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Day 14- the death of culture by mix tape
Out to dinner with other PWKAC (parents with kids at camp) tonight. Fun and best part was not having to come home and clean up stale pizza and pay the babysitter! Good food too- farm to table- french influences and local and organics. Yumm. Coq au Vin for me. Only disappointment was the chocolate cake being sold out. Had to *settle* for a peach crepe. Had an interesting conversation about eighties music and was able to crystalize a thought that has run around in my head for years. I had always tried to parse out why I loved eighties music so much, and how most of my peers did too, and even a lot of kids and younger folks today. There is still a distinctive genre called "eighties music." Not as much with "nineties music"- though grunge and rap were two dominant themes.
And that's what struck me. The Eighties were the last time we had a general culturally accepted top 40. The last time there was a mainstream music scene that really was mainstream- everyone knew who sang to the man in the mirror, what Jenny's number was, and who wished they had Jesse's girl. It was the beginnings of a fracturalization in youth culture that has only become more pronounced, despite the irony of how we have become more multi-cultural and global. I had a different post lauding John Hughes' ability to identify this fracturalization- but he also usually had the characters overcoming the niches and cliques to unify a community- everyone loves Ferris, wants their sixteenth birthday to be special, and hates being with vindictive teachers for detention. But he did point out the different groupings that high schoolers in particular were forming. The larger the town/city/high school, the more pronounced the divisions. And now, while we see regionalism and the unique character of towns all over the country get swept away but the unifying force of francised restaurants and big box stores (where can you go and not find a Wal mart and McDonalds?) somehow this desire to divide and subdivide into tribes of every possible ilk is stronger than ever.
I remarked that it was a trend that seemed to happen with the advent of the internet, and one of my dining companions very deftly noted that it was also the advent of portable music. When you could choose what you wanted to hear and when, and not be reliant on some D.J. playing it for you, that was when you could declare you only like neo-goth punk grunge with a ska influence, or electronica-emo-Christian-rap? (DC talk anyone?) And you didn't have to listen to, like or even know who the "mainstream" artists were.
Now, the biggest challenge in this from my perspective (besides the fact that it has raised a generation of people who are comfortable being at complete odds with others opinions and see no need for common ground) is when it comes to times like, say church, where we have kids from lots of different groups or 'splinter cells' coming together and trying to find commonality. As someone who works with youth, where do you start? To try and learn all the musical tastes means you have to be familiar with everything from Justin Beiber to Vampire Weekend to Lady GaGa to maybe even Bach...well you get the idea. Gone are the days when you could start a conversation that everyone was likely to have a stake in... "so, what do you think of the new Madonna album?" So, that's the challenge. I'm not sure I have a solution. I think youth groups eventually begin to have an identity of their own. But when you're just starting with a group that doesn't know each other- finding the common ground without music is definitely a challenge.
And that's what struck me. The Eighties were the last time we had a general culturally accepted top 40. The last time there was a mainstream music scene that really was mainstream- everyone knew who sang to the man in the mirror, what Jenny's number was, and who wished they had Jesse's girl. It was the beginnings of a fracturalization in youth culture that has only become more pronounced, despite the irony of how we have become more multi-cultural and global. I had a different post lauding John Hughes' ability to identify this fracturalization- but he also usually had the characters overcoming the niches and cliques to unify a community- everyone loves Ferris, wants their sixteenth birthday to be special, and hates being with vindictive teachers for detention. But he did point out the different groupings that high schoolers in particular were forming. The larger the town/city/high school, the more pronounced the divisions. And now, while we see regionalism and the unique character of towns all over the country get swept away but the unifying force of francised restaurants and big box stores (where can you go and not find a Wal mart and McDonalds?) somehow this desire to divide and subdivide into tribes of every possible ilk is stronger than ever.
I remarked that it was a trend that seemed to happen with the advent of the internet, and one of my dining companions very deftly noted that it was also the advent of portable music. When you could choose what you wanted to hear and when, and not be reliant on some D.J. playing it for you, that was when you could declare you only like neo-goth punk grunge with a ska influence, or electronica-emo-Christian-rap? (DC talk anyone?) And you didn't have to listen to, like or even know who the "mainstream" artists were.
Now, the biggest challenge in this from my perspective (besides the fact that it has raised a generation of people who are comfortable being at complete odds with others opinions and see no need for common ground) is when it comes to times like, say church, where we have kids from lots of different groups or 'splinter cells' coming together and trying to find commonality. As someone who works with youth, where do you start? To try and learn all the musical tastes means you have to be familiar with everything from Justin Beiber to Vampire Weekend to Lady GaGa to maybe even Bach...well you get the idea. Gone are the days when you could start a conversation that everyone was likely to have a stake in... "so, what do you think of the new Madonna album?" So, that's the challenge. I'm not sure I have a solution. I think youth groups eventually begin to have an identity of their own. But when you're just starting with a group that doesn't know each other- finding the common ground without music is definitely a challenge.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Day 13
This blogging every day is very hard. Especially since I know no one is reading anything I put up. But I need a discipline. Some kind of structure. Goodness knows I don't stick to a diet, and I usually see most of my projects peter out at some time or another. Somewhat enjoying a week without boys. I am happy to be doing EYC mission stuff this week- they have been gracious enough to let me come and go and just hang out in the afternoon. It allows me the chance to connect, but I've gotten home for dinner with George and the past two nights- hatch repair. Today's issue I thought was the hatch fix job I did yesterday- and I imagines somehow it's related- but the main issue I think is the locking mechanism. It was not fully unlocking the door- resulting in an inability to even use the handle, so still unable to open the door. I think it will be okay- but I haven't reattached the cover panel yet until it behaves better. I sense a new car is closer than it is farther away.
G and I are pretty sad- both with laptops, baseball all star game on, and topics of convo include facebook posts and random news bits. Wait- there was the Tik-Tok video with Star Trek clips. Hmm. I had wanted to work on the train set for the boys- but that is looking less possible- dinner with friends Weds, mission trip Thurs, anniversary with G Friday- and get them boys Sat! I miss them quite a bit, but I know they're having fun!
Well, that might just qualify for a really long status update or a very boring blog post.
G and I are pretty sad- both with laptops, baseball all star game on, and topics of convo include facebook posts and random news bits. Wait- there was the Tik-Tok video with Star Trek clips. Hmm. I had wanted to work on the train set for the boys- but that is looking less possible- dinner with friends Weds, mission trip Thurs, anniversary with G Friday- and get them boys Sat! I miss them quite a bit, but I know they're having fun!
Well, that might just qualify for a really long status update or a very boring blog post.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Monday adventures
I don't know if it's because I just have the time to do it, or because God is so good in his timing- but it seems like major repairs have to be done when the kids are out of the picture- last year when B was at camp- the toilet broke and I had to replace it (with help from the G man). So today, the start of the week with both boys gone, I break the handle on the minivan hatch door. There is.no.other.way.to.open.it. Balh! I don't have time to go to the dealer and wait- plus pay who knows how much (going rate is $300 I saw) because Toyota makes stupid plastic handles for parts that get reused over and over and over. Yeah. That's about as smart as the floor mats covering up the gas pedal. Anyway- after looking online, found an easy fix for what I find is a common problem- and after some sweat, mosquitoes, flashlight holding by the G man and 3 hours later, the hatch door is fixed and maybe even a little easier to open than in was! It has an extra screw and a bolt in it, but oh well! I'm trying to think what I can spend that $300 on? Oh, that's right- we don't just have that laying around next to our pile of free time. Thank you to all who have patiently taught me how to use tools, be self reliant and to try to fix things before running off to a mechanic, plumber or carpenter. I am so much better off for it and I get to be quite smug for a few more days!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
packing it in- Day 10
I think we've got the guys ready for camp now. Packed both trunks today- they are super excited and I hope it lives up to their expectations. This will be 4 years for the oldest, 1st year for the youngest. Small camp, well trained staff, best friend as director. It will be great. I have discovered though, that I am the mack-daddy packer in the family. I suppose it has to do with spatial relations ability. As in, I have some and my spouse doesn't. I also have a lot more experience knowing what is needed when.
Usually when you are packing for a trip, you put big bulky items in first and then fill in smaller things around, but that is sort of backwards for camp packing. All your bedding, your laundry bag and your swim stuff, including beach towel need to be on top, since you make your bed, tie up your laundry bag and go to take your swim test first thing on opening day. If you had all of that on the bottom, you'd upset the whole trunk digging it out the first few minutes there. Next should be your everyday clothes (shorts and t-shirts), toiletry bag and pajamas and underwear- and the lower level can be populated by extra shoes, flashlights and other objects easily identified by feeling, so no need to see them, and clothes not likely to be used such as costumes, long pants and rain jackets. That's my process and I stick by it. Ziplocs help keep stationary books and letter stuff together and dry, extra trash bags are helpful for really dirty or wet items that might happen during the week, a water bottle is good for hot weather, and a very light string backpack will help carry your pool and lake stuff around and yet not be a space taker. Don't forget initials or names on anything you can write on- and instructions to your kids that if they hold up an item in the lost and found that looks just like yours, chances are, it is yours. If you mistakenly claim it and find yours back at your cabin, you can bring it back the next day, but chances are good it is yours in the first place. My one solid rule for lost and found though was to never bother holding up socks or underwear- no one would claim them even if they did recognize them!
So- packing and lost and found from both staff perspective and parent perspective. Mostly staff as parent perspective. And roll the big items- allows you to make them more compact=take up less space. Lastly, I have to say it is humorous my boys bring fully packed trunks to camp for only a week long session. It is serious overkill. But, it makes them feel like uber-campers and ready to face the week- and hey, when it's all over with, they'll have a good coffee table for their dorm room.
Usually when you are packing for a trip, you put big bulky items in first and then fill in smaller things around, but that is sort of backwards for camp packing. All your bedding, your laundry bag and your swim stuff, including beach towel need to be on top, since you make your bed, tie up your laundry bag and go to take your swim test first thing on opening day. If you had all of that on the bottom, you'd upset the whole trunk digging it out the first few minutes there. Next should be your everyday clothes (shorts and t-shirts), toiletry bag and pajamas and underwear- and the lower level can be populated by extra shoes, flashlights and other objects easily identified by feeling, so no need to see them, and clothes not likely to be used such as costumes, long pants and rain jackets. That's my process and I stick by it. Ziplocs help keep stationary books and letter stuff together and dry, extra trash bags are helpful for really dirty or wet items that might happen during the week, a water bottle is good for hot weather, and a very light string backpack will help carry your pool and lake stuff around and yet not be a space taker. Don't forget initials or names on anything you can write on- and instructions to your kids that if they hold up an item in the lost and found that looks just like yours, chances are, it is yours. If you mistakenly claim it and find yours back at your cabin, you can bring it back the next day, but chances are good it is yours in the first place. My one solid rule for lost and found though was to never bother holding up socks or underwear- no one would claim them even if they did recognize them!
So- packing and lost and found from both staff perspective and parent perspective. Mostly staff as parent perspective. And roll the big items- allows you to make them more compact=take up less space. Lastly, I have to say it is humorous my boys bring fully packed trunks to camp for only a week long session. It is serious overkill. But, it makes them feel like uber-campers and ready to face the week- and hey, when it's all over with, they'll have a good coffee table for their dorm room.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Day 9 out of time
Well this will be short. Already 9:45, my night to read and I'm out of time. Facebook is powered by the energy of the time it siphons from your life. Didn't you know? But we're packing for camp, going to farmers markets, watching new Disney shows and de-heading shrimp today. Those are highlights. I also have managed to pull 206 songs from George's cd collection and I'm only through the G's. More of the same tomorrow!
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Day 8 musings
I am sitting on my back porch while I write this. The sun set a few hours ago- but it is still probably 80 degrees or more. Today was one of those particularly hot days. About 100 I think- but it's July in South Carolina. It would be a strange summer without a few of those around. I can't tell which is louder to me- the hum of the a/c unit or the cicada summer symphony. I wish the a/c would stop so I could just hear the warbling drone of odd bugs, but with my husband's desire to sleep without sweating- I doubt it will turn off anytime soon. We got to meet some friends at the pool for some dinner and a cool off, so my hair is still wet and that makes me cold inside. The sky isn't particularly clear- we had an ozone alert today, but there are still a few stars peeking through. Since it's been pretty dry, I don't smell anything particularly strongly. It just smells warm and comfortable. There's enough humidity to make it comfortable without feeling like I am wearing saran wrap.
I love summer. It is my favorite season. As much as I appreciate the structure and purpose that the school year brings to our schedule (after all the boys fight far more after sitting around watching crappy tv all day than when they haven't really seen each other)- I try to cherish each summer day and I dread it going away. Even living in Florida didn't satiate my summer obsession. It's such a unique combination of factors. I just love summer. I don't mind sweating, I adore fresh vegetables from my garden and others, I think the idea of sleeping outside is perfectly acceptable in 80 degree weather. Watermelon, water balloons, water parks- what other time of year do they shine? I used to think my love of summer was all tied up with my love of camp- and it is true it is one of the major selling points for me- but there are other parts of summer I have only gotten to enjoy while not working and playing my hardest for 18 hours and sleeping the other 6. Gardening is one of those things. Cookouts that don't involve 200 hamburgers is another. Enjoying a mojito or mint julep is another. Working on a model train set up with the boys is certainly novel. I don't dare start a list of summer things that I enjoyed at camp too- my blog posts are long enough without that! But whatever my situation, camp employed or not- I love summer. I think I just heard a bat! Maybe it will eat some of these mosquitoes- the A/c just turned off for a brief minute- I think I'll just sit and listen.
I love summer. It is my favorite season. As much as I appreciate the structure and purpose that the school year brings to our schedule (after all the boys fight far more after sitting around watching crappy tv all day than when they haven't really seen each other)- I try to cherish each summer day and I dread it going away. Even living in Florida didn't satiate my summer obsession. It's such a unique combination of factors. I just love summer. I don't mind sweating, I adore fresh vegetables from my garden and others, I think the idea of sleeping outside is perfectly acceptable in 80 degree weather. Watermelon, water balloons, water parks- what other time of year do they shine? I used to think my love of summer was all tied up with my love of camp- and it is true it is one of the major selling points for me- but there are other parts of summer I have only gotten to enjoy while not working and playing my hardest for 18 hours and sleeping the other 6. Gardening is one of those things. Cookouts that don't involve 200 hamburgers is another. Enjoying a mojito or mint julep is another. Working on a model train set up with the boys is certainly novel. I don't dare start a list of summer things that I enjoyed at camp too- my blog posts are long enough without that! But whatever my situation, camp employed or not- I love summer. I think I just heard a bat! Maybe it will eat some of these mosquitoes- the A/c just turned off for a brief minute- I think I'll just sit and listen.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
arguing with the ump
So, lately I have found this metaphor to be helpful for describing my current outlook on life. Spoiler: it is my characteristic cynical observation. I end up watching a lot of sports with my spouse. He enjoys them quite alot, and usually I don't dislike them- although watching golf and baseball usually induce sleep for me. I also like small bits of sport watching instead of all day affairs. But I digress. In watching baseball highlights one night, they focused on a particularly dramatic episode of a manager-umpire dispute. You know- the ump calls the runner out at home plate and the manager charges out and starts screaming about how no, he was safe, and they stand toe-to-toe and spit obscenities in each other's faces until the ump gets tired and throws the manager out. So while watching this the futility of this drama strikes me. "Has it ever happened in the history of baseball," I ask my sports encyclopedia husband, "that the ump has reversed his decision after one of these episodes and said 'Oh, you're right, he is safe.'?" I mean, they never change their minds- no amount of people screaming in their face will change their decision. So the answer is no, they never do reverse the call. And so this becomes a metaphor for so many things in public life these days. There is bitter disagreement, vituperative words shouted across the divide, and in the end no one changes their mind. It provides some good drama, gets some energy out, shows both parties to be mean spirited and after their own interests, and in the end changes nothing. I think that can describe entire sessions of congress or state legislative bodies or even church councils. So, my question is, is it worth it to rail on about these things? Or maybe we need a better way to engage each other and solve our disagreements. Stop shouting at the ump. It's futile and makes you both look like jerks.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Name a famous movie you have never seen. Why?
Okay- too many movie questions already. There are a ton in the last ten years, and the answer is the same for all of them- I have kids. I've seen way more kids movies in the past 10 years than what would pass for famous movies (although there is a Pixar argument to be made here). But, if I had to name one that I want to see, it would be Schindler's List. I didn't get to see it when it came out, then we had kids, and it was before netflix. Now we couldn't watch it with kids in the house- yet. Another few years and maybe. Also, my partner in movie watching doesn't like depressing movies, so that is another strike against it. But, still, I'd like to see it. Someday.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Day 5- where does the money go
Just to be clear- I don't get blog prompts on weekends- I guess I am supposed to take weekends off- which is good, because this weekend was very busy and allowed very little time for blogging. Plenty of cooking, some tourist-ing and fellowship and fireworks. No blogging. So, onward we go. Today's prompt is: What is one thing you think is worth spending money on, what is something you always cheap out on?
I would say I have come to believe it is in everyone's best interest if I buy decent food. So, I try and spend more on organic and fresh foods, especially produce. For a long time I couldn't understand why organics cost more- since you aren't using extra pesticides or chemical fertilizers- using less should translate to less cost right? But then I learned about how much more labor intensive organic farming is, and how it is not subsidized by the gov't like commercial farming. Ah ha! So, I support those who make the extra effort to grow organically, and locally- and I will pay more for their products. I find this to particularly hit me in the meat area, since I can grow my own produce and freeze it. I don't intend to grow my own livestock, however, and so I am usually paying more for better meat.
What I cheap out on is a harder question- but I think it would have to be clothes. First of all, I don't buy a lot of clothes- and I will wear out of date things all the time because they still have life. I have never been a fashionista- more of a fashion victim- a late adopter of fashion trends, and never on the vanguard of couture. So, I buy my stuff at big-box stores, discount stores, online sales sites, get hand-me-downs from my sister. I look for clearance racks for my kids, balk when my husband wants to buy $80 running shoes, and won't spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes for me. Ever. (Maybe hiking boots, but that would be it!). I just went to a fabulous shoe store in Asheville, and despite the amazing selection and sale prices, I came away with nothing. I reasoned I could get a lot at our local trail shop's "end of summer sale" in 2 months. So yeah, clothing would be my cheap point. Look for me at the sales rack!
I would say I have come to believe it is in everyone's best interest if I buy decent food. So, I try and spend more on organic and fresh foods, especially produce. For a long time I couldn't understand why organics cost more- since you aren't using extra pesticides or chemical fertilizers- using less should translate to less cost right? But then I learned about how much more labor intensive organic farming is, and how it is not subsidized by the gov't like commercial farming. Ah ha! So, I support those who make the extra effort to grow organically, and locally- and I will pay more for their products. I find this to particularly hit me in the meat area, since I can grow my own produce and freeze it. I don't intend to grow my own livestock, however, and so I am usually paying more for better meat.
What I cheap out on is a harder question- but I think it would have to be clothes. First of all, I don't buy a lot of clothes- and I will wear out of date things all the time because they still have life. I have never been a fashionista- more of a fashion victim- a late adopter of fashion trends, and never on the vanguard of couture. So, I buy my stuff at big-box stores, discount stores, online sales sites, get hand-me-downs from my sister. I look for clearance racks for my kids, balk when my husband wants to buy $80 running shoes, and won't spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes for me. Ever. (Maybe hiking boots, but that would be it!). I just went to a fabulous shoe store in Asheville, and despite the amazing selection and sale prices, I came away with nothing. I reasoned I could get a lot at our local trail shop's "end of summer sale" in 2 months. So yeah, clothing would be my cheap point. Look for me at the sales rack!
Friday, July 02, 2010
DAy 2
So, I signed up through NaBloPoMo to get prompts for a month of blogging- but they don't have one for today- must be the holiday. So, I'll just give a brief listing of three things that annoy me, and then some things that delight me (should end on a good note!)
Annoying:
1)Inconsistency- hypocrites. Say one thing, do another; like one side when its convenient, switch and like the other when it's not. Latest example: The same conservative rhetoric which says we should have smaller government, that the federal authority should not trump local concerns, that we shouldn't have Uncle Sam telling a city or state what it can and cannot do (ala Arizona's immigration laws)- that same usually vocal strain is absolutely silent about the Supreme Courts decision to make gun laws federal and strike down an individual community's right to make their own laws. Where's the outrage and bluster now? Polishing up the Colt .45.
2)Eating with your mouth open. I don't want to either see or hear what you're currently ruminating on. Especially hear it- the seeing part is gross too, but it's really the sound that gets to me.
3) Inability of children to have rational discussions. I know it's developmental, I know it's just the age. Still, a call for rational thought amongst 8 and 10 year-olds doesn't seem so unreasonable? But when you are campaigning to be the poster child for unreasonable, I guess it crimps your style.
Okay- three delights:
1) cooking food I have grown/harvested myself. Second is cooking using local stuff- but best when it comes right from my yard. Especially like to brag about how much came from my garden. Hopefully makes up for some deficiencies in the cooking!
2) Well structured word humor. I am full of bad puns and quips all the time, and most of them sail over my kids heads, but I love it. And when the kids catch on...like when my son said he could read through his rear end- and then said, no in order for that to happen he would need "butt-focals"! I'd like to think I inspired some of their quick wit!
3) Summer evenings. I've never gotten over my summer camp addiction, and so summer evenings are pretty special to me. The crickets and cicadas- occasional thunderstorms, warm but not hot- lots of good conversations and memories tied up with summer evenings-- even a few shenanigans. Truly delightful.
Annoying:
1)Inconsistency- hypocrites. Say one thing, do another; like one side when its convenient, switch and like the other when it's not. Latest example: The same conservative rhetoric which says we should have smaller government, that the federal authority should not trump local concerns, that we shouldn't have Uncle Sam telling a city or state what it can and cannot do (ala Arizona's immigration laws)- that same usually vocal strain is absolutely silent about the Supreme Courts decision to make gun laws federal and strike down an individual community's right to make their own laws. Where's the outrage and bluster now? Polishing up the Colt .45.
2)Eating with your mouth open. I don't want to either see or hear what you're currently ruminating on. Especially hear it- the seeing part is gross too, but it's really the sound that gets to me.
3) Inability of children to have rational discussions. I know it's developmental, I know it's just the age. Still, a call for rational thought amongst 8 and 10 year-olds doesn't seem so unreasonable? But when you are campaigning to be the poster child for unreasonable, I guess it crimps your style.
Okay- three delights:
1) cooking food I have grown/harvested myself. Second is cooking using local stuff- but best when it comes right from my yard. Especially like to brag about how much came from my garden. Hopefully makes up for some deficiencies in the cooking!
2) Well structured word humor. I am full of bad puns and quips all the time, and most of them sail over my kids heads, but I love it. And when the kids catch on...like when my son said he could read through his rear end- and then said, no in order for that to happen he would need "butt-focals"! I'd like to think I inspired some of their quick wit!
3) Summer evenings. I've never gotten over my summer camp addiction, and so summer evenings are pretty special to me. The crickets and cicadas- occasional thunderstorms, warm but not hot- lots of good conversations and memories tied up with summer evenings-- even a few shenanigans. Truly delightful.
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Blog daily for a month?
Well- I'm going to give it a try. It will fail, ultimately because I'll be on vacation the last week of July- but until then I thought I'd still something from my friend Holly and use blogprompts- Here's the first: What's your favorite movie?
That is a toughie- I'm not a big "favorite one" person- I have lists of favorites, and I am hard pressed to pick a number one. (maybe it comes from being the youngest in a large family and truly believing my Mom say she couldn't pick a favorite child!) But- for all around humor, quotability, excellent accents, talented cast, decent action, making fun of itself and a happily ever after ending- I'll have to go with The Princess Bride. It has lots of competition and I could be like the oscars and go for one each for favorite drama, comedy, oldie, sci-fi, romance, John Hughes movie, etc. However, I don't think that was the question. I'll have to save those for when THAT blog prompt comes up.
That is a toughie- I'm not a big "favorite one" person- I have lists of favorites, and I am hard pressed to pick a number one. (maybe it comes from being the youngest in a large family and truly believing my Mom say she couldn't pick a favorite child!) But- for all around humor, quotability, excellent accents, talented cast, decent action, making fun of itself and a happily ever after ending- I'll have to go with The Princess Bride. It has lots of competition and I could be like the oscars and go for one each for favorite drama, comedy, oldie, sci-fi, romance, John Hughes movie, etc. However, I don't think that was the question. I'll have to save those for when THAT blog prompt comes up.
Monday, June 21, 2010
the Fathers Day inspired rant
Well, it has already gone, and I don't think I did nearly the justice to my partner's abilities as a father. But we have both sworn off what we call greeting card holidays, so both of us just get cards from the kids on our respective parental appreciation days. I've been thinking alot lately about the balance and interplay between parenting and being married. The nuclear family- 2 parents and kids, has been morphing in the last few decades- and the stigma that used to be associated with divorce is all but gone. The next stigma that I fear is on its way out, is the affair that precipitates divorce. As of late, I have heard of at least half a dozen couples with kids getting divorced- and in the majority of cases, someone's been having an affair- and its usually been the husband. So, I have been reflecting on this a bit. Lots of thoughts going on- lots of sorting out personal anxieties and irrational fears- trying to quash the urge to man-bash (but I make no promises that I can abstain) realizing it takes two to form and keep a relationship.
Here are some points I've chipped out of my thought-boulders.
1) A study just recently pointed out that a father's hormones change around his baby's birth as well as the much celebrated women's hormonal tsunamis. Men become less aggressive, more nurturing, and protective. That seems to make sense. My thought on this is that after 3-5 years, the dad reverts to the "find a mate and reproduce" state of hormones, while the mom stays in the "protect, nurture, grow" stage. There's lots to be said for how childbirth alters a women's body, how the hormones of mid-life change, how most women don't keep an attractive, young looking body- not without a lot of plastic surgery or really great workout ethics. (of which I have neither!) I can see how the grass can start looking leaner and greener on the other side of most men's pool fence...but I also refuse to let us all settle for the excuse of a testosterone driven existence. So what if they want sex more often, or feel they deserve it or need it? Find a way to woo your wife and TALK about what you need and get it, or take a frikkin cold shower and shut up! If you want to be the dominant alpha men who run the businesses, get paid more and fight the fights of the world, then surely you can control yourself? If you can't- are we surrounded by people who have the same amount of restraint as middle school boys with a boner?! (And there are women to blame too- ones who sleep with married men, and who cheat on their husbands. I'm not excusing that- just going with the larger statistics here. ) We can land men on the moon, but we shouldn't expect them to keep their pants zipped simply because they stood before God and promised to do that among other things? Perhaps those who just can't get what they need from their current marraiges should go through with divorce and then fill their needs- sounds ridiculous in a way- and yet- it would show more manliness and foresight than "I just couldn't control myself- and although I realized I've destroyed an entire family system, since I was out of control, I'm also not going to pay for it."
2) We do a lot as a culture and even in the church to support people at various stages of life- we throw parties, have showers, send gifts to mark things like going to college, getting married, having a baby- even retiring or moving to a new place gets supported and recognized. There are post-partum support groups, books on preparing for marriage, retirement planning counselors- but it seems there is a void in the school-age parenting/being married 15+ years range. There isn't alot said or done for those who are trying to negotiate the waters of "normal life". The time where you've gotten a good job and work regularly, the kids are making their way towards being pretty independent from you, but in actuality need you more than you think, you're working on that mortgage, and the goal line has faded into a distant future. Our culture doesn't support and applaud the day-in-day-out drudgery. It instead salutes the new, the exciting, the different. What's the next big thing?
I asked my husband one time, now that you've Gotten into a good college, gotten a good job, gotten married, gotten your PhD, gotten a great job, bought a house, had kids, and gotten a decent car- what's your next life goal? A lot of people just begin to adapt their kids goals as their own and perpetuate the cycle (get my kid into a great college, get them a good job, get them married etc). We suffer from a serious lack of imagination these days. And usually, when we have nothing pushing us further, we just look for entertainment- pleasure- satisfaction- all of which are fine in moderation, but all of which when done in the American super-sized mode become the very definition of gluttony, lust and greed.
3) I'm trying to think of ways we can celebrate and support those who are simply doing what they're supposed to do- who know how to sacrifice for their family's good- or know that doing without multiple sex oppotunities is not actually sacrificing. How to help people make the transition from two parents back to a couple. (Cause the kids aren't going anywhere any time soon!) How do we reinforce that there is pleasure and satisfaction in being a faithful, responsible person? How do we make it so? I'm thinking a marraige shower is in order! Perhaps anniversaries need to be made into a bigger deal- complete with parties and people dancing you around in a chair.... What do you think?
Here are some points I've chipped out of my thought-boulders.
1) A study just recently pointed out that a father's hormones change around his baby's birth as well as the much celebrated women's hormonal tsunamis. Men become less aggressive, more nurturing, and protective. That seems to make sense. My thought on this is that after 3-5 years, the dad reverts to the "find a mate and reproduce" state of hormones, while the mom stays in the "protect, nurture, grow" stage. There's lots to be said for how childbirth alters a women's body, how the hormones of mid-life change, how most women don't keep an attractive, young looking body- not without a lot of plastic surgery or really great workout ethics. (of which I have neither!) I can see how the grass can start looking leaner and greener on the other side of most men's pool fence...but I also refuse to let us all settle for the excuse of a testosterone driven existence. So what if they want sex more often, or feel they deserve it or need it? Find a way to woo your wife and TALK about what you need and get it, or take a frikkin cold shower and shut up! If you want to be the dominant alpha men who run the businesses, get paid more and fight the fights of the world, then surely you can control yourself? If you can't- are we surrounded by people who have the same amount of restraint as middle school boys with a boner?! (And there are women to blame too- ones who sleep with married men, and who cheat on their husbands. I'm not excusing that- just going with the larger statistics here. ) We can land men on the moon, but we shouldn't expect them to keep their pants zipped simply because they stood before God and promised to do that among other things? Perhaps those who just can't get what they need from their current marraiges should go through with divorce and then fill their needs- sounds ridiculous in a way- and yet- it would show more manliness and foresight than "I just couldn't control myself- and although I realized I've destroyed an entire family system, since I was out of control, I'm also not going to pay for it."
2) We do a lot as a culture and even in the church to support people at various stages of life- we throw parties, have showers, send gifts to mark things like going to college, getting married, having a baby- even retiring or moving to a new place gets supported and recognized. There are post-partum support groups, books on preparing for marriage, retirement planning counselors- but it seems there is a void in the school-age parenting/being married 15+ years range. There isn't alot said or done for those who are trying to negotiate the waters of "normal life". The time where you've gotten a good job and work regularly, the kids are making their way towards being pretty independent from you, but in actuality need you more than you think, you're working on that mortgage, and the goal line has faded into a distant future. Our culture doesn't support and applaud the day-in-day-out drudgery. It instead salutes the new, the exciting, the different. What's the next big thing?
I asked my husband one time, now that you've Gotten into a good college, gotten a good job, gotten married, gotten your PhD, gotten a great job, bought a house, had kids, and gotten a decent car- what's your next life goal? A lot of people just begin to adapt their kids goals as their own and perpetuate the cycle (get my kid into a great college, get them a good job, get them married etc). We suffer from a serious lack of imagination these days. And usually, when we have nothing pushing us further, we just look for entertainment- pleasure- satisfaction- all of which are fine in moderation, but all of which when done in the American super-sized mode become the very definition of gluttony, lust and greed.
3) I'm trying to think of ways we can celebrate and support those who are simply doing what they're supposed to do- who know how to sacrifice for their family's good- or know that doing without multiple sex oppotunities is not actually sacrificing. How to help people make the transition from two parents back to a couple. (Cause the kids aren't going anywhere any time soon!) How do we reinforce that there is pleasure and satisfaction in being a faithful, responsible person? How do we make it so? I'm thinking a marraige shower is in order! Perhaps anniversaries need to be made into a bigger deal- complete with parties and people dancing you around in a chair.... What do you think?
Friday, May 07, 2010
Plants
Solomon's Seal
Arrowhead Violet?
Wild Yam or Dutchman's Pipe
Possible Wood Lily or small Hellebore
Arrowhead Violet?
Wild Yam or Dutchman's Pipe
Possible Wood Lily or small Hellebore
Jack-in-the-Pulpit
Royal Fern
False Solomon's Seal
Indian Cucumber Root
Lady's Slipper
I always had a interest in natural stuff...plants, trees, animals- I'm a few hugs short of my tree-loving badge, but as I have helped get the nature trail at school up and running, I've spent a lot of time trying to identify plants- and so far I've found two rare and endangered ones! I keep looking for more- but in the meantime here are some pictures I'm working on identifying.
Royal Fern
False Solomon's Seal
Indian Cucumber Root
Lady's Slipper
I always had a interest in natural stuff...plants, trees, animals- I'm a few hugs short of my tree-loving badge, but as I have helped get the nature trail at school up and running, I've spent a lot of time trying to identify plants- and so far I've found two rare and endangered ones! I keep looking for more- but in the meantime here are some pictures I'm working on identifying.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Google Fiber to Greenville
Even though I'm unlikely to get it in my location of outer-Greenville (aka the sticks!) I really would love to see this come to Greenville! Go Vote today!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Two things on my mind
OK- Two things about Global warming on my mind today.
1) everyone complains that it is so cold, how can global warming be happening? We are in the midst of quite a cold winter, I will admit. Then I remember how air conditioning works- you blow air over a melting chunk of ice and the air gets cold and cools other stuff off. So, as the north polar ice cap melts, the air over it gets cold and then blows on us. I know the north polar ice cap is melting. Last year for example, was the first year in centuries (or ever?) that the Northwest passage- up over Canada to Alaska- was open and navigable- no ice floes in the way. Now, the air that was over that melting ice has congregated and migrated to the lower 48, as well as Europe I might add. So, voila- Global air conditioning.
2) The whole environmental movement seems to play on this idea of "Save the earth" or "Be kind to the planet" as if what we're doing as the human race is seriously endangering the ability of the planet to exist. Now, what is very true is that currently Earth meets several very picky requirements concerning temperature, sunlight, rotation, etc. that are needed to the amazing diversity of life. Far as we know, only place in our solar system, or even our galaxy. But, I am reminded of how old the earth is, and how many different configurations it has had, and how many millions of years it has supported life. There have been periods of complete iced surface of the planet, complete watery surface and even an early molten lava phase. But the estimates of the earth are 4.5 Billion years old. All of human memory and existence is a small blip of that expanse of time. So, I think that despite our protestations to the contrary, Earth can take whatever we can dish out- and apart from an asteroid pummeling it, sending it into the sun, or the sun expanding and swallowing it, the Earth will continue for quite a very long time. It may take a few hundred or maybe even thousand years to get rid of the evidence of our being here, but the earth is pretty good at recycling and reinventing itself. Even the radioactivity can disappear within a thousand years or so.
What is in danger, however, is OUR existence. By our continued pollution and carbon buildup, we run the risk of destroying those fragile conditions needed for humans to survive. We have the capacity to make this planet really unlivable for ourselves (and a host of other life forms who
have no say in the matter.) So, really the environmentalist movement needs to stop appealing to our altruistic sides to be nice to mother earth and instead remind us of our basal instict to survive- our own self interest is what will motivate far greater than appealing to our angels. Not even "what world will our grandchildren inherit?" works as well as "humans will cease to exist." Instead of "Save the Earth" I like the old 80's punk jean jacket button: "Save the Humans".
1) everyone complains that it is so cold, how can global warming be happening? We are in the midst of quite a cold winter, I will admit. Then I remember how air conditioning works- you blow air over a melting chunk of ice and the air gets cold and cools other stuff off. So, as the north polar ice cap melts, the air over it gets cold and then blows on us. I know the north polar ice cap is melting. Last year for example, was the first year in centuries (or ever?) that the Northwest passage- up over Canada to Alaska- was open and navigable- no ice floes in the way. Now, the air that was over that melting ice has congregated and migrated to the lower 48, as well as Europe I might add. So, voila- Global air conditioning.
2) The whole environmental movement seems to play on this idea of "Save the earth" or "Be kind to the planet" as if what we're doing as the human race is seriously endangering the ability of the planet to exist. Now, what is very true is that currently Earth meets several very picky requirements concerning temperature, sunlight, rotation, etc. that are needed to the amazing diversity of life. Far as we know, only place in our solar system, or even our galaxy. But, I am reminded of how old the earth is, and how many different configurations it has had, and how many millions of years it has supported life. There have been periods of complete iced surface of the planet, complete watery surface and even an early molten lava phase. But the estimates of the earth are 4.5 Billion years old. All of human memory and existence is a small blip of that expanse of time. So, I think that despite our protestations to the contrary, Earth can take whatever we can dish out- and apart from an asteroid pummeling it, sending it into the sun, or the sun expanding and swallowing it, the Earth will continue for quite a very long time. It may take a few hundred or maybe even thousand years to get rid of the evidence of our being here, but the earth is pretty good at recycling and reinventing itself. Even the radioactivity can disappear within a thousand years or so.
What is in danger, however, is OUR existence. By our continued pollution and carbon buildup, we run the risk of destroying those fragile conditions needed for humans to survive. We have the capacity to make this planet really unlivable for ourselves (and a host of other life forms who
have no say in the matter.) So, really the environmentalist movement needs to stop appealing to our altruistic sides to be nice to mother earth and instead remind us of our basal instict to survive- our own self interest is what will motivate far greater than appealing to our angels. Not even "what world will our grandchildren inherit?" works as well as "humans will cease to exist." Instead of "Save the Earth" I like the old 80's punk jean jacket button: "Save the Humans".
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