day15 half way

My thoughts today turn to an odd topic: depression. I say odd, because I don't really have any experience or knowledge of it- so I don't feel very qualified to speak on the subject. I do know that I have been blessed to not battle that particular illness- and I seem to know a large number of people who have done so and are doing so. I know that there is a large market out there and the pharmaceuticals seem to have convinced at least a decent potion of the doctors that medications are a great solution. I know there are also alternative treatments- most notably exercise and diet. I guess that as someone who hasn't ever really dealt with it (my emotional state is usually pretty constant and mediocre. No big highs or lows- boring in one sense, but it helps me keep my head in an emergency) I would like to understand depression and associated issues like anxiety and bi-polar a little better. I also try not to assume that just because I can get out of my funks with a little extra chocolate and some alone time that everyone has that ability- or that they should. It would be easy and wrong of me to just say "get over it" to someone dealing with depression.
But sometimes I think that the doctors feel like if you come and see them and just aren't feeling great then they need some sort of answer for you. If you want to pay $125 for an office visit you should probably get more than "sometimes we all feel bad." So I do think it is like ADD- a bit over diagnosed. Not that people don't struggle with attention deficit or with persistent depression, but I'm not sure that everyone who is being diagnosed and taking medications for these have actually crossed the line to where that is the answer for what's going on. It's just easier to slap a label on it and give some medications than really get into some hard work involving real lifestyle change. I realize its probably better to err on the side of over diagnosis than under- but I wish our system were better able to do wholistic care that could spend more time looking at all the issues and not just slap a prescription on it.
The other thing I struggle with is the phenomenon wherby the person actually is appropriately diagnosed and gets better while taking the meds, but then because they feel so much better, they feel like they don't need those meds and then stop taking them and have a crash. I have seen it enough to recognize it in people I care about and know pretty well. I sometimes want to look my friends in the face and say, "go take your meds." But again, as someone who has no real experience or knowledge, I feel out of my depth and lacking in credibility to say something of that sort, especially that bluntly. So there you have it- just some random thoughts on that subject that have been on my mind lately. It's really still not something that I know enough about- but I am encouraged that it is much more accepted and talked about in general stigma-free terms. And I am blessed to not deal with it in a personal way.

Day 14- the death of culture by mix tape

Out to dinner with other PWKAC (parents with kids at camp) tonight. Fun and best part was not having to come home and clean up stale pizza and pay the babysitter! Good food too- farm to table- french influences and local and organics. Yumm. Coq au Vin for me. Only disappointment was the chocolate cake being sold out. Had to *settle* for a peach crepe. Had an interesting conversation about eighties music and was able to crystalize a thought that has run around in my head for years. I had always tried to parse out why I loved eighties music so much, and how most of my peers did too, and even a lot of kids and younger folks today. There is still a distinctive genre called "eighties music." Not as much with "nineties music"- though grunge and rap were two dominant themes.
And that's what struck me. The Eighties were the last time we had a general culturally accepted top 40. The last time there was a mainstream music scene that really was mainstream- everyone knew who sang to the man in the mirror, what Jenny's number was, and who wished they had Jesse's girl. It was the beginnings of a fracturalization in youth culture that has only become more pronounced, despite the irony of how we have become more multi-cultural and global. I had a different post lauding John Hughes' ability to identify this fracturalization- but he also usually had the characters overcoming the niches and cliques to unify a community- everyone loves Ferris, wants their sixteenth birthday to be special, and hates being with vindictive teachers for detention. But he did point out the different groupings that high schoolers in particular were forming. The larger the town/city/high school, the more pronounced the divisions. And now, while we see regionalism and the unique character of towns all over the country get swept away but the unifying force of francised restaurants and big box stores (where can you go and not find a Wal mart and McDonalds?) somehow this desire to divide and subdivide into tribes of every possible ilk is stronger than ever.
I remarked that it was a trend that seemed to happen with the advent of the internet, and one of my dining companions very deftly noted that it was also the advent of portable music. When you could choose what you wanted to hear and when, and not be reliant on some D.J. playing it for you, that was when you could declare you only like neo-goth punk grunge with a ska influence, or electronica-emo-Christian-rap? (DC talk anyone?) And you didn't have to listen to, like or even know who the "mainstream" artists were.
Now, the biggest challenge in this from my perspective (besides the fact that it has raised a generation of people who are comfortable being at complete odds with others opinions and see no need for common ground) is when it comes to times like, say church, where we have kids from lots of different groups or 'splinter cells' coming together and trying to find commonality. As someone who works with youth, where do you start? To try and learn all the musical tastes means you have to be familiar with everything from Justin Beiber to Vampire Weekend to Lady GaGa to maybe even Bach...well you get the idea. Gone are the days when you could start a conversation that everyone was likely to have a stake in... "so, what do you think of the new Madonna album?" So, that's the challenge. I'm not sure I have a solution. I think youth groups eventually begin to have an identity of their own. But when you're just starting with a group that doesn't know each other- finding the common ground without music is definitely a challenge.

Day 13

This blogging every day is very hard. Especially since I know no one is reading anything I put up. But I need a discipline. Some kind of structure. Goodness knows I don't stick to a diet, and I usually see most of my projects peter out at some time or another. Somewhat enjoying a week without boys. I am happy to be doing EYC mission stuff this week- they have been gracious enough to let me come and go and just hang out in the afternoon. It allows me the chance to connect, but I've gotten home for dinner with George and the past two nights- hatch repair. Today's issue I thought was the hatch fix job I did yesterday- and I imagines somehow it's related- but the main issue I think is the locking mechanism. It was not fully unlocking the door- resulting in an inability to even use the handle, so still unable to open the door. I think it will be okay- but I haven't reattached the cover panel yet until it behaves better. I sense a new car is closer than it is farther away.
G and I are pretty sad- both with laptops, baseball all star game on, and topics of convo include facebook posts and random news bits. Wait- there was the Tik-Tok video with Star Trek clips. Hmm. I had wanted to work on the train set for the boys- but that is looking less possible- dinner with friends Weds, mission trip Thurs, anniversary with G Friday- and get them boys Sat! I miss them quite a bit, but I know they're having fun!
Well, that might just qualify for a really long status update or a very boring blog post.

Monday adventures

I don't know if it's because I just have the time to do it, or because God is so good in his timing- but it seems like major repairs have to be done when the kids are out of the picture- last year when B was at camp- the toilet broke and I had to replace it (with help from the G man). So today, the start of the week with both boys gone, I break the handle on the minivan hatch door. There is.no.other.way.to.open.it. Balh! I don't have time to go to the dealer and wait- plus pay who knows how much (going rate is $300 I saw) because Toyota makes stupid plastic handles for parts that get reused over and over and over. Yeah. That's about as smart as the floor mats covering up the gas pedal. Anyway- after looking online, found an easy fix for what I find is a common problem- and after some sweat, mosquitoes, flashlight holding by the G man and 3 hours later, the hatch door is fixed and maybe even a little easier to open than in was! It has an extra screw and a bolt in it, but oh well! I'm trying to think what I can spend that $300 on? Oh, that's right- we don't just have that laying around next to our pile of free time. Thank you to all who have patiently taught me how to use tools, be self reliant and to try to fix things before running off to a mechanic, plumber or carpenter. I am so much better off for it and I get to be quite smug for a few more days!

packing it in- Day 10

I think we've got the guys ready for camp now. Packed both trunks today- they are super excited and I hope it lives up to their expectations. This will be 4 years for the oldest, 1st year for the youngest. Small camp, well trained staff, best friend as director. It will be great. I have discovered though, that I am the mack-daddy packer in the family. I suppose it has to do with spatial relations ability. As in, I have some and my spouse doesn't. I also have a lot more experience knowing what is needed when.
Usually when you are packing for a trip, you put big bulky items in first and then fill in smaller things around, but that is sort of backwards for camp packing. All your bedding, your laundry bag and your swim stuff, including beach towel need to be on top, since you make your bed, tie up your laundry bag and go to take your swim test first thing on opening day. If you had all of that on the bottom, you'd upset the whole trunk digging it out the first few minutes there. Next should be your everyday clothes (shorts and t-shirts), toiletry bag and pajamas and underwear- and the lower level can be populated by extra shoes, flashlights and other objects easily identified by feeling, so no need to see them, and clothes not likely to be used such as costumes, long pants and rain jackets. That's my process and I stick by it. Ziplocs help keep stationary books and letter stuff together and dry, extra trash bags are helpful for really dirty or wet items that might happen during the week, a water bottle is good for hot weather, and a very light string backpack will help carry your pool and lake stuff around and yet not be a space taker. Don't forget initials or names on anything you can write on- and instructions to your kids that if they hold up an item in the lost and found that looks just like yours, chances are, it is yours. If you mistakenly claim it and find yours back at your cabin, you can bring it back the next day, but chances are good it is yours in the first place. My one solid rule for lost and found though was to never bother holding up socks or underwear- no one would claim them even if they did recognize them!
So- packing and lost and found from both staff perspective and parent perspective. Mostly staff as parent perspective. And roll the big items- allows you to make them more compact=take up less space. Lastly, I have to say it is humorous my boys bring fully packed trunks to camp for only a week long session. It is serious overkill. But, it makes them feel like uber-campers and ready to face the week- and hey, when it's all over with, they'll have a good coffee table for their dorm room.

Day 9 out of time

Well this will be short. Already 9:45, my night to read and I'm out of time. Facebook is powered by the energy of the time it siphons from your life. Didn't you know? But we're packing for camp, going to farmers markets, watching new Disney shows and de-heading shrimp today. Those are highlights. I also have managed to pull 206 songs from George's cd collection and I'm only through the G's. More of the same tomorrow!

Day 8 musings

I am sitting on my back porch while I write this. The sun set a few hours ago- but it is still probably 80 degrees or more. Today was one of those particularly hot days. About 100 I think- but it's July in South Carolina. It would be a strange summer without a few of those around. I can't tell which is louder to me- the hum of the a/c unit or the cicada summer symphony. I wish the a/c would stop so I could just hear the warbling drone of odd bugs, but with my husband's desire to sleep without sweating- I doubt it will turn off anytime soon. We got to meet some friends at the pool for some dinner and a cool off, so my hair is still wet and that makes me cold inside. The sky isn't particularly clear- we had an ozone alert today, but there are still a few stars peeking through. Since it's been pretty dry, I don't smell anything particularly strongly. It just smells warm and comfortable. There's enough humidity to make it comfortable without feeling like I am wearing saran wrap.
I love summer. It is my favorite season. As much as I appreciate the structure and purpose that the school year brings to our schedule (after all the boys fight far more after sitting around watching crappy tv all day than when they haven't really seen each other)- I try to cherish each summer day and I dread it going away. Even living in Florida didn't satiate my summer obsession. It's such a unique combination of factors. I just love summer. I don't mind sweating, I adore fresh vegetables from my garden and others, I think the idea of sleeping outside is perfectly acceptable in 80 degree weather. Watermelon, water balloons, water parks- what other time of year do they shine? I used to think my love of summer was all tied up with my love of camp- and it is true it is one of the major selling points for me- but there are other parts of summer I have only gotten to enjoy while not working and playing my hardest for 18 hours and sleeping the other 6. Gardening is one of those things. Cookouts that don't involve 200 hamburgers is another. Enjoying a mojito or mint julep is another. Working on a model train set up with the boys is certainly novel. I don't dare start a list of summer things that I enjoyed at camp too- my blog posts are long enough without that! But whatever my situation, camp employed or not- I love summer. I think I just heard a bat! Maybe it will eat some of these mosquitoes- the A/c just turned off for a brief minute- I think I'll just sit and listen.

arguing with the ump

So, lately I have found this metaphor to be helpful for describing my current outlook on life. Spoiler: it is my characteristic cynical observation. I end up watching a lot of sports with my spouse. He enjoys them quite alot, and usually I don't dislike them- although watching golf and baseball usually induce sleep for me. I also like small bits of sport watching instead of all day affairs. But I digress. In watching baseball highlights one night, they focused on a particularly dramatic episode of a manager-umpire dispute. You know- the ump calls the runner out at home plate and the manager charges out and starts screaming about how no, he was safe, and they stand toe-to-toe and spit obscenities in each other's faces until the ump gets tired and throws the manager out. So while watching this the futility of this drama strikes me. "Has it ever happened in the history of baseball," I ask my sports encyclopedia husband, "that the ump has reversed his decision after one of these episodes and said 'Oh, you're right, he is safe.'?" I mean, they never change their minds- no amount of people screaming in their face will change their decision. So the answer is no, they never do reverse the call. And so this becomes a metaphor for so many things in public life these days. There is bitter disagreement, vituperative words shouted across the divide, and in the end no one changes their mind. It provides some good drama, gets some energy out, shows both parties to be mean spirited and after their own interests, and in the end changes nothing. I think that can describe entire sessions of congress or state legislative bodies or even church councils. So, my question is, is it worth it to rail on about these things? Or maybe we need a better way to engage each other and solve our disagreements. Stop shouting at the ump. It's futile and makes you both look like jerks.

Name a famous movie you have never seen. Why?

Okay- too many movie questions already. There are a ton in the last ten years, and the answer is the same for all of them- I have kids. I've seen way more kids movies in the past 10 years than what would pass for famous movies (although there is a Pixar argument to be made here). But, if I had to name one that I want to see, it would be Schindler's List. I didn't get to see it when it came out, then we had kids, and it was before netflix. Now we couldn't watch it with kids in the house- yet. Another few years and maybe. Also, my partner in movie watching doesn't like depressing movies, so that is another strike against it. But, still, I'd like to see it. Someday.

Day 5- where does the money go

Just to be clear- I don't get blog prompts on weekends- I guess I am supposed to take weekends off- which is good, because this weekend was very busy and allowed very little time for blogging. Plenty of cooking, some tourist-ing and fellowship and fireworks. No blogging. So, onward we go. Today's prompt is: What is one thing you think is worth spending money on, what is something you always cheap out on?
I would say I have come to believe it is in everyone's best interest if I buy decent food. So, I try and spend more on organic and fresh foods, especially produce. For a long time I couldn't understand why organics cost more- since you aren't using extra pesticides or chemical fertilizers- using less should translate to less cost right? But then I learned about how much more labor intensive organic farming is, and how it is not subsidized by the gov't like commercial farming. Ah ha! So, I support those who make the extra effort to grow organically, and locally- and I will pay more for their products. I find this to particularly hit me in the meat area, since I can grow my own produce and freeze it. I don't intend to grow my own livestock, however, and so I am usually paying more for better meat.
What I cheap out on is a harder question- but I think it would have to be clothes. First of all, I don't buy a lot of clothes- and I will wear out of date things all the time because they still have life. I have never been a fashionista- more of a fashion victim- a late adopter of fashion trends, and never on the vanguard of couture. So, I buy my stuff at big-box stores, discount stores, online sales sites, get hand-me-downs from my sister. I look for clearance racks for my kids, balk when my husband wants to buy $80 running shoes, and won't spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes for me. Ever. (Maybe hiking boots, but that would be it!). I just went to a fabulous shoe store in Asheville, and despite the amazing selection and sale prices, I came away with nothing. I reasoned I could get a lot at our local trail shop's "end of summer sale" in 2 months. So yeah, clothing would be my cheap point. Look for me at the sales rack!

DAy 2

So, I signed up through NaBloPoMo to get prompts for a month of blogging- but they don't have one for today- must be the holiday. So, I'll just give a brief listing of three things that annoy me, and then some things that delight me (should end on a good note!)
Annoying:
1)Inconsistency- hypocrites. Say one thing, do another; like one side when its convenient, switch and like the other when it's not. Latest example: The same conservative rhetoric which says we should have smaller government, that the federal authority should not trump local concerns, that we shouldn't have Uncle Sam telling a city or state what it can and cannot do (ala Arizona's immigration laws)- that same usually vocal strain is absolutely silent about the Supreme Courts decision to make gun laws federal and strike down an individual community's right to make their own laws. Where's the outrage and bluster now? Polishing up the Colt .45.
2)Eating with your mouth open. I don't want to either see or hear what you're currently ruminating on. Especially hear it- the seeing part is gross too, but it's really the sound that gets to me.
3) Inability of children to have rational discussions. I know it's developmental, I know it's just the age. Still, a call for rational thought amongst 8 and 10 year-olds doesn't seem so unreasonable? But when you are campaigning to be the poster child for unreasonable, I guess it crimps your style.

Okay- three delights:
1) cooking food I have grown/harvested myself. Second is cooking using local stuff- but best when it comes right from my yard. Especially like to brag about how much came from my garden. Hopefully makes up for some deficiencies in the cooking!
2) Well structured word humor. I am full of bad puns and quips all the time, and most of them sail over my kids heads, but I love it. And when the kids catch on...like when my son said he could read through his rear end- and then said, no in order for that to happen he would need "butt-focals"! I'd like to think I inspired some of their quick wit!
3) Summer evenings. I've never gotten over my summer camp addiction, and so summer evenings are pretty special to me. The crickets and cicadas- occasional thunderstorms, warm but not hot- lots of good conversations and memories tied up with summer evenings-- even a few shenanigans. Truly delightful.

Blog daily for a month?

Well- I'm going to give it a try. It will fail, ultimately because I'll be on vacation the last week of July- but until then I thought I'd still something from my friend Holly and use blogprompts- Here's the first: What's your favorite movie?
That is a toughie- I'm not a big "favorite one" person- I have lists of favorites, and I am hard pressed to pick a number one. (maybe it comes from being the youngest in a large family and truly believing my Mom say she couldn't pick a favorite child!) But- for all around humor, quotability, excellent accents, talented cast, decent action, making fun of itself and a happily ever after ending- I'll have to go with The Princess Bride. It has lots of competition and I could be like the oscars and go for one each for favorite drama, comedy, oldie, sci-fi, romance, John Hughes movie, etc. However, I don't think that was the question. I'll have to save those for when THAT blog prompt comes up.