Day 13

This blogging every day is very hard. Especially since I know no one is reading anything I put up. But I need a discipline. Some kind of structure. Goodness knows I don't stick to a diet, and I usually see most of my projects peter out at some time or another. Somewhat enjoying a week without boys. I am happy to be doing EYC mission stuff this week- they have been gracious enough to let me come and go and just hang out in the afternoon. It allows me the chance to connect, but I've gotten home for dinner with George and the past two nights- hatch repair. Today's issue I thought was the hatch fix job I did yesterday- and I imagines somehow it's related- but the main issue I think is the locking mechanism. It was not fully unlocking the door- resulting in an inability to even use the handle, so still unable to open the door. I think it will be okay- but I haven't reattached the cover panel yet until it behaves better. I sense a new car is closer than it is farther away.
G and I are pretty sad- both with laptops, baseball all star game on, and topics of convo include facebook posts and random news bits. Wait- there was the Tik-Tok video with Star Trek clips. Hmm. I had wanted to work on the train set for the boys- but that is looking less possible- dinner with friends Weds, mission trip Thurs, anniversary with G Friday- and get them boys Sat! I miss them quite a bit, but I know they're having fun!
Well, that might just qualify for a really long status update or a very boring blog post.

Monday adventures

I don't know if it's because I just have the time to do it, or because God is so good in his timing- but it seems like major repairs have to be done when the kids are out of the picture- last year when B was at camp- the toilet broke and I had to replace it (with help from the G man). So today, the start of the week with both boys gone, I break the handle on the minivan hatch door. There is.no.other.way.to.open.it. Balh! I don't have time to go to the dealer and wait- plus pay who knows how much (going rate is $300 I saw) because Toyota makes stupid plastic handles for parts that get reused over and over and over. Yeah. That's about as smart as the floor mats covering up the gas pedal. Anyway- after looking online, found an easy fix for what I find is a common problem- and after some sweat, mosquitoes, flashlight holding by the G man and 3 hours later, the hatch door is fixed and maybe even a little easier to open than in was! It has an extra screw and a bolt in it, but oh well! I'm trying to think what I can spend that $300 on? Oh, that's right- we don't just have that laying around next to our pile of free time. Thank you to all who have patiently taught me how to use tools, be self reliant and to try to fix things before running off to a mechanic, plumber or carpenter. I am so much better off for it and I get to be quite smug for a few more days!

packing it in- Day 10

I think we've got the guys ready for camp now. Packed both trunks today- they are super excited and I hope it lives up to their expectations. This will be 4 years for the oldest, 1st year for the youngest. Small camp, well trained staff, best friend as director. It will be great. I have discovered though, that I am the mack-daddy packer in the family. I suppose it has to do with spatial relations ability. As in, I have some and my spouse doesn't. I also have a lot more experience knowing what is needed when.
Usually when you are packing for a trip, you put big bulky items in first and then fill in smaller things around, but that is sort of backwards for camp packing. All your bedding, your laundry bag and your swim stuff, including beach towel need to be on top, since you make your bed, tie up your laundry bag and go to take your swim test first thing on opening day. If you had all of that on the bottom, you'd upset the whole trunk digging it out the first few minutes there. Next should be your everyday clothes (shorts and t-shirts), toiletry bag and pajamas and underwear- and the lower level can be populated by extra shoes, flashlights and other objects easily identified by feeling, so no need to see them, and clothes not likely to be used such as costumes, long pants and rain jackets. That's my process and I stick by it. Ziplocs help keep stationary books and letter stuff together and dry, extra trash bags are helpful for really dirty or wet items that might happen during the week, a water bottle is good for hot weather, and a very light string backpack will help carry your pool and lake stuff around and yet not be a space taker. Don't forget initials or names on anything you can write on- and instructions to your kids that if they hold up an item in the lost and found that looks just like yours, chances are, it is yours. If you mistakenly claim it and find yours back at your cabin, you can bring it back the next day, but chances are good it is yours in the first place. My one solid rule for lost and found though was to never bother holding up socks or underwear- no one would claim them even if they did recognize them!
So- packing and lost and found from both staff perspective and parent perspective. Mostly staff as parent perspective. And roll the big items- allows you to make them more compact=take up less space. Lastly, I have to say it is humorous my boys bring fully packed trunks to camp for only a week long session. It is serious overkill. But, it makes them feel like uber-campers and ready to face the week- and hey, when it's all over with, they'll have a good coffee table for their dorm room.

Day 9 out of time

Well this will be short. Already 9:45, my night to read and I'm out of time. Facebook is powered by the energy of the time it siphons from your life. Didn't you know? But we're packing for camp, going to farmers markets, watching new Disney shows and de-heading shrimp today. Those are highlights. I also have managed to pull 206 songs from George's cd collection and I'm only through the G's. More of the same tomorrow!

Day 8 musings

I am sitting on my back porch while I write this. The sun set a few hours ago- but it is still probably 80 degrees or more. Today was one of those particularly hot days. About 100 I think- but it's July in South Carolina. It would be a strange summer without a few of those around. I can't tell which is louder to me- the hum of the a/c unit or the cicada summer symphony. I wish the a/c would stop so I could just hear the warbling drone of odd bugs, but with my husband's desire to sleep without sweating- I doubt it will turn off anytime soon. We got to meet some friends at the pool for some dinner and a cool off, so my hair is still wet and that makes me cold inside. The sky isn't particularly clear- we had an ozone alert today, but there are still a few stars peeking through. Since it's been pretty dry, I don't smell anything particularly strongly. It just smells warm and comfortable. There's enough humidity to make it comfortable without feeling like I am wearing saran wrap.
I love summer. It is my favorite season. As much as I appreciate the structure and purpose that the school year brings to our schedule (after all the boys fight far more after sitting around watching crappy tv all day than when they haven't really seen each other)- I try to cherish each summer day and I dread it going away. Even living in Florida didn't satiate my summer obsession. It's such a unique combination of factors. I just love summer. I don't mind sweating, I adore fresh vegetables from my garden and others, I think the idea of sleeping outside is perfectly acceptable in 80 degree weather. Watermelon, water balloons, water parks- what other time of year do they shine? I used to think my love of summer was all tied up with my love of camp- and it is true it is one of the major selling points for me- but there are other parts of summer I have only gotten to enjoy while not working and playing my hardest for 18 hours and sleeping the other 6. Gardening is one of those things. Cookouts that don't involve 200 hamburgers is another. Enjoying a mojito or mint julep is another. Working on a model train set up with the boys is certainly novel. I don't dare start a list of summer things that I enjoyed at camp too- my blog posts are long enough without that! But whatever my situation, camp employed or not- I love summer. I think I just heard a bat! Maybe it will eat some of these mosquitoes- the A/c just turned off for a brief minute- I think I'll just sit and listen.

arguing with the ump

So, lately I have found this metaphor to be helpful for describing my current outlook on life. Spoiler: it is my characteristic cynical observation. I end up watching a lot of sports with my spouse. He enjoys them quite alot, and usually I don't dislike them- although watching golf and baseball usually induce sleep for me. I also like small bits of sport watching instead of all day affairs. But I digress. In watching baseball highlights one night, they focused on a particularly dramatic episode of a manager-umpire dispute. You know- the ump calls the runner out at home plate and the manager charges out and starts screaming about how no, he was safe, and they stand toe-to-toe and spit obscenities in each other's faces until the ump gets tired and throws the manager out. So while watching this the futility of this drama strikes me. "Has it ever happened in the history of baseball," I ask my sports encyclopedia husband, "that the ump has reversed his decision after one of these episodes and said 'Oh, you're right, he is safe.'?" I mean, they never change their minds- no amount of people screaming in their face will change their decision. So the answer is no, they never do reverse the call. And so this becomes a metaphor for so many things in public life these days. There is bitter disagreement, vituperative words shouted across the divide, and in the end no one changes their mind. It provides some good drama, gets some energy out, shows both parties to be mean spirited and after their own interests, and in the end changes nothing. I think that can describe entire sessions of congress or state legislative bodies or even church councils. So, my question is, is it worth it to rail on about these things? Or maybe we need a better way to engage each other and solve our disagreements. Stop shouting at the ump. It's futile and makes you both look like jerks.

Name a famous movie you have never seen. Why?

Okay- too many movie questions already. There are a ton in the last ten years, and the answer is the same for all of them- I have kids. I've seen way more kids movies in the past 10 years than what would pass for famous movies (although there is a Pixar argument to be made here). But, if I had to name one that I want to see, it would be Schindler's List. I didn't get to see it when it came out, then we had kids, and it was before netflix. Now we couldn't watch it with kids in the house- yet. Another few years and maybe. Also, my partner in movie watching doesn't like depressing movies, so that is another strike against it. But, still, I'd like to see it. Someday.

Day 5- where does the money go

Just to be clear- I don't get blog prompts on weekends- I guess I am supposed to take weekends off- which is good, because this weekend was very busy and allowed very little time for blogging. Plenty of cooking, some tourist-ing and fellowship and fireworks. No blogging. So, onward we go. Today's prompt is: What is one thing you think is worth spending money on, what is something you always cheap out on?
I would say I have come to believe it is in everyone's best interest if I buy decent food. So, I try and spend more on organic and fresh foods, especially produce. For a long time I couldn't understand why organics cost more- since you aren't using extra pesticides or chemical fertilizers- using less should translate to less cost right? But then I learned about how much more labor intensive organic farming is, and how it is not subsidized by the gov't like commercial farming. Ah ha! So, I support those who make the extra effort to grow organically, and locally- and I will pay more for their products. I find this to particularly hit me in the meat area, since I can grow my own produce and freeze it. I don't intend to grow my own livestock, however, and so I am usually paying more for better meat.
What I cheap out on is a harder question- but I think it would have to be clothes. First of all, I don't buy a lot of clothes- and I will wear out of date things all the time because they still have life. I have never been a fashionista- more of a fashion victim- a late adopter of fashion trends, and never on the vanguard of couture. So, I buy my stuff at big-box stores, discount stores, online sales sites, get hand-me-downs from my sister. I look for clearance racks for my kids, balk when my husband wants to buy $80 running shoes, and won't spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes for me. Ever. (Maybe hiking boots, but that would be it!). I just went to a fabulous shoe store in Asheville, and despite the amazing selection and sale prices, I came away with nothing. I reasoned I could get a lot at our local trail shop's "end of summer sale" in 2 months. So yeah, clothing would be my cheap point. Look for me at the sales rack!

DAy 2

So, I signed up through NaBloPoMo to get prompts for a month of blogging- but they don't have one for today- must be the holiday. So, I'll just give a brief listing of three things that annoy me, and then some things that delight me (should end on a good note!)
Annoying:
1)Inconsistency- hypocrites. Say one thing, do another; like one side when its convenient, switch and like the other when it's not. Latest example: The same conservative rhetoric which says we should have smaller government, that the federal authority should not trump local concerns, that we shouldn't have Uncle Sam telling a city or state what it can and cannot do (ala Arizona's immigration laws)- that same usually vocal strain is absolutely silent about the Supreme Courts decision to make gun laws federal and strike down an individual community's right to make their own laws. Where's the outrage and bluster now? Polishing up the Colt .45.
2)Eating with your mouth open. I don't want to either see or hear what you're currently ruminating on. Especially hear it- the seeing part is gross too, but it's really the sound that gets to me.
3) Inability of children to have rational discussions. I know it's developmental, I know it's just the age. Still, a call for rational thought amongst 8 and 10 year-olds doesn't seem so unreasonable? But when you are campaigning to be the poster child for unreasonable, I guess it crimps your style.

Okay- three delights:
1) cooking food I have grown/harvested myself. Second is cooking using local stuff- but best when it comes right from my yard. Especially like to brag about how much came from my garden. Hopefully makes up for some deficiencies in the cooking!
2) Well structured word humor. I am full of bad puns and quips all the time, and most of them sail over my kids heads, but I love it. And when the kids catch on...like when my son said he could read through his rear end- and then said, no in order for that to happen he would need "butt-focals"! I'd like to think I inspired some of their quick wit!
3) Summer evenings. I've never gotten over my summer camp addiction, and so summer evenings are pretty special to me. The crickets and cicadas- occasional thunderstorms, warm but not hot- lots of good conversations and memories tied up with summer evenings-- even a few shenanigans. Truly delightful.

Blog daily for a month?

Well- I'm going to give it a try. It will fail, ultimately because I'll be on vacation the last week of July- but until then I thought I'd still something from my friend Holly and use blogprompts- Here's the first: What's your favorite movie?
That is a toughie- I'm not a big "favorite one" person- I have lists of favorites, and I am hard pressed to pick a number one. (maybe it comes from being the youngest in a large family and truly believing my Mom say she couldn't pick a favorite child!) But- for all around humor, quotability, excellent accents, talented cast, decent action, making fun of itself and a happily ever after ending- I'll have to go with The Princess Bride. It has lots of competition and I could be like the oscars and go for one each for favorite drama, comedy, oldie, sci-fi, romance, John Hughes movie, etc. However, I don't think that was the question. I'll have to save those for when THAT blog prompt comes up.

the Fathers Day inspired rant

Well, it has already gone, and I don't think I did nearly the justice to my partner's abilities as a father. But we have both sworn off what we call greeting card holidays, so both of us just get cards from the kids on our respective parental appreciation days. I've been thinking alot lately about the balance and interplay between parenting and being married. The nuclear family- 2 parents and kids, has been morphing in the last few decades- and the stigma that used to be associated with divorce is all but gone. The next stigma that I fear is on its way out, is the affair that precipitates divorce. As of late, I have heard of at least half a dozen couples with kids getting divorced- and in the majority of cases, someone's been having an affair- and its usually been the husband. So, I have been reflecting on this a bit. Lots of thoughts going on- lots of sorting out personal anxieties and irrational fears- trying to quash the urge to man-bash (but I make no promises that I can abstain) realizing it takes two to form and keep a relationship.
Here are some points I've chipped out of my thought-boulders.
1) A study just recently pointed out that a father's hormones change around his baby's birth as well as the much celebrated women's hormonal tsunamis. Men become less aggressive, more nurturing, and protective. That seems to make sense. My thought on this is that after 3-5 years, the dad reverts to the "find a mate and reproduce" state of hormones, while the mom stays in the "protect, nurture, grow" stage. There's lots to be said for how childbirth alters a women's body, how the hormones of mid-life change, how most women don't keep an attractive, young looking body- not without a lot of plastic surgery or really great workout ethics. (of which I have neither!) I can see how the grass can start looking leaner and greener on the other side of most men's pool fence...but I also refuse to let us all settle for the excuse of a testosterone driven existence. So what if they want sex more often, or feel they deserve it or need it? Find a way to woo your wife and TALK about what you need and get it, or take a frikkin cold shower and shut up! If you want to be the dominant alpha men who run the businesses, get paid more and fight the fights of the world, then surely you can control yourself? If you can't- are we surrounded by people who have the same amount of restraint as middle school boys with a boner?! (And there are women to blame too- ones who sleep with married men, and who cheat on their husbands. I'm not excusing that- just going with the larger statistics here. ) We can land men on the moon, but we shouldn't expect them to keep their pants zipped simply because they stood before God and promised to do that among other things? Perhaps those who just can't get what they need from their current marraiges should go through with divorce and then fill their needs- sounds ridiculous in a way- and yet- it would show more manliness and foresight than "I just couldn't control myself- and although I realized I've destroyed an entire family system, since I was out of control, I'm also not going to pay for it."
2) We do a lot as a culture and even in the church to support people at various stages of life- we throw parties, have showers, send gifts to mark things like going to college, getting married, having a baby- even retiring or moving to a new place gets supported and recognized. There are post-partum support groups, books on preparing for marriage, retirement planning counselors- but it seems there is a void in the school-age parenting/being married 15+ years range. There isn't alot said or done for those who are trying to negotiate the waters of "normal life". The time where you've gotten a good job and work regularly, the kids are making their way towards being pretty independent from you, but in actuality need you more than you think, you're working on that mortgage, and the goal line has faded into a distant future. Our culture doesn't support and applaud the day-in-day-out drudgery. It instead salutes the new, the exciting, the different. What's the next big thing?
I asked my husband one time, now that you've Gotten into a good college, gotten a good job, gotten married, gotten your PhD, gotten a great job, bought a house, had kids, and gotten a decent car- what's your next life goal? A lot of people just begin to adapt their kids goals as their own and perpetuate the cycle (get my kid into a great college, get them a good job, get them married etc). We suffer from a serious lack of imagination these days. And usually, when we have nothing pushing us further, we just look for entertainment- pleasure- satisfaction- all of which are fine in moderation, but all of which when done in the American super-sized mode become the very definition of gluttony, lust and greed.
3) I'm trying to think of ways we can celebrate and support those who are simply doing what they're supposed to do- who know how to sacrifice for their family's good- or know that doing without multiple sex oppotunities is not actually sacrificing. How to help people make the transition from two parents back to a couple. (Cause the kids aren't going anywhere any time soon!) How do we reinforce that there is pleasure and satisfaction in being a faithful, responsible person? How do we make it so? I'm thinking a marraige shower is in order! Perhaps anniversaries need to be made into a bigger deal- complete with parties and people dancing you around in a chair.... What do you think?

Plants

Solomon's Seal Arrowhead Violet?

Wild Yam or Dutchman's Pipe

Possible Wood Lily or small Hellebore

Jack-in-the-Pulpit Royal Fern
False Solomon's Seal
Indian Cucumber Root

Lady's Slipper
I always had a interest in natural stuff...plants, trees, animals- I'm a few hugs short of my tree-loving badge, but as I have helped get the nature trail at school up and running, I've spent a lot of time trying to identify plants- and so far I've found two rare and endangered ones! I keep looking for more- but in the meantime here are some pictures I'm working on identifying.

Google Fiber to Greenville

Even though I'm unlikely to get it in my location of outer-Greenville (aka the sticks!) I really would love to see this come to Greenville! Go Vote today!

Two things on my mind

OK- Two things about Global warming on my mind today.
1) everyone complains that it is so cold, how can global warming be happening? We are in the midst of quite a cold winter, I will admit. Then I remember how air conditioning works- you blow air over a melting chunk of ice and the air gets cold and cools other stuff off. So, as the north polar ice cap melts, the air over it gets cold and then blows on us. I know the north polar ice cap is melting. Last year for example, was the first year in centuries (or ever?) that the Northwest passage- up over Canada to Alaska- was open and navigable- no ice floes in the way. Now, the air that was over that melting ice has congregated and migrated to the lower 48, as well as Europe I might add. So, voila- Global air conditioning.

2) The whole environmental movement seems to play on this idea of "Save the earth" or "Be kind to the planet" as if what we're doing as the human race is seriously endangering the ability of the planet to exist. Now, what is very true is that currently Earth meets several very picky requirements concerning temperature, sunlight, rotation, etc. that are needed to the amazing diversity of life. Far as we know, only place in our solar system, or even our galaxy. But, I am reminded of how old the earth is, and how many different configurations it has had, and how many millions of years it has supported life. There have been periods of complete iced surface of the planet, complete watery surface and even an early molten lava phase. But the estimates of the earth are 4.5 Billion years old. All of human memory and existence is a small blip of that expanse of time. So, I think that despite our protestations to the contrary, Earth can take whatever we can dish out- and apart from an asteroid pummeling it, sending it into the sun, or the sun expanding and swallowing it, the Earth will continue for quite a very long time. It may take a few hundred or maybe even thousand years to get rid of the evidence of our being here, but the earth is pretty good at recycling and reinventing itself. Even the radioactivity can disappear within a thousand years or so.
What is in danger, however, is OUR existence. By our continued pollution and carbon buildup, we run the risk of destroying those fragile conditions needed for humans to survive. We have the capacity to make this planet really unlivable for ourselves (and a host of other life forms who have no say in the matter.) So, really the environmentalist movement needs to stop appealing to our altruistic sides to be nice to mother earth and instead remind us of our basal instict to survive- our own self interest is what will motivate far greater than appealing to our angels. Not even "what world will our grandchildren inherit?" works as well as "humans will cease to exist." Instead of "Save the Earth" I like the old 80's punk jean jacket button: "Save the Humans".

?United? States? : a rant

(Note: this is somewhat in response to a thread on facebook dealing with people referring to healthcare reform as "That nazi policy" and likening Obama to Hitler)

I do think that the US is a great country. One of our defining traits has been the ability to have liberty and diversity at the same time. Our worst moments as a country have been when we have been bitterly divided against each other to the point of no longer seeing what unites us (eg The Civil War). Our best moments have been when we acknowledge that while we may not agree, we are all in this together (eg 9/11). I am not so idealistic as to think that even in our most united moments absolutely everyone agrees about any given idea, policy, or endeavor. But it has been our ability to disagree but still work together that has put us ahead of any other country as a beacon of democracy. My current frustration has been the deepening and ongoing polarization of America. What started as red states vs. blue states has evolved to a point where there seems to be very little middle ground. Whether it is supreme court justice nominees, or plans to improve sectors of our society that really need it, or an effort to shore up an ailing economy- everything is presented in bulleted talking points and gross dichotomies. The population at large seems too lazy to think for themselves and so they let pundits and talking heads form their opinions. The media seems to use this tension to fuel its 24 hour news cycle. After all, it draws more viewers to show a town-hall brawl than to show people working side by side to accomplish something. Why we have allowed it to become about viewership and not about unbiased information is a whole ‘nother rant.
One of my greatest hopes with Obama as president was for some relief from that polarization, and frankly I have been disappointed- especially by the lack of effort put forth by both Democrats and Republicans to work across party lines. It seems like Democrats are playing a game of “tit for tat” payback after 8 years of Republican rule, and Republicans are playing at nursing their “I’m going to take my ball and go home” sore loser status. I want to say to all of them (and us) GROW UP! Put aside the petty partisan politics, and I might add the harmful vituperative rhetoric both sides are using, and GET TO WORK! Nothing is being accomplished and we are squandering both a glorious history and a shining future to stroke our egos. I am aware that I am asking that we stop doing politics as usual- and that may be asking too much. But it sure doesn’t seem like our current method is working.
As far as the Hitler analogies go- you can make those analogies with lots of leaders throughout history- some good and some bad. Most politicians gain favor, get elected or appointed and then use their power for good or ill. To equate anyone with Hitler or the Nazis is to say they are the worst of all people with an agenda of absolute evil. So, while I agree Obama has come into power riding a wave of popularity and has now set out to advance an agenda of egalitarianism- I don’t find the comparison to be equivocal and by using Hitler as the standard, you unnecessarily incite fear-mongering. It tends to shut down the conversation because it elicits so many strong emotions. And as I said earlier- I believe our greatest strength lies in talking, listening and working with each other despite our disagreements, rather than simply dividing into opposing sides and hurling insults at each other. And I remain thankful because we have the privilege to live in a place where we have the liberty to disagree frankly and openly while we still share a common foundation of freedom for all.

Sometimes you just have to say

I heard the news about director John Hughes sudden death yesterday- and I was suddenly transpoted back to watching a spate of movies that defined my micro-generation. I say micro-generation, because as generational theory goes, we are the first wave of the Gen X crowd, but being at the front part of that, we were still heavily under the boomer shadow, and at a loss for our identity. And cue John Hughes. As my cohort reached high school, he began to make films that represented our crew. Instead of watching the Big Chill crowd relive their glory years, we were finally given our own titles- the Breakfast Club, the Neo maxi zoom dweebs, the Duckies, the Brat Pack.

I won't go as far as to call John Hughes some incredible filmaker- some academy award winning postmodern genius- but he was true to life. And while reflecting what was going on in everyday American teenagers lives, or their high schools, or in their fantasies, he was also wickedly funny- both in a over the top Long-Duc-Dong way, and in a subtle, school secretary sniffing white-out kind of way. He also had a knack for exposing the increasing stratification and fracturalization that was going on in high schools everywhere. Whether he pointed out the injustices, like in Weird Science, or celebrated the things that could bridge those cliqueish chasms, like in Breakfast Club- he was acutely aware of how that social catergorization dynamic was the one thing all teenagers were experiencing. Unlike previous generations, where the football captain could also be the valedictorian, and think about a career in the military, while he rebuilds his mustang in the garage- Hughes understood the demands that were being placed on teens to declare an allegiance to one category and how everyone was labeled according to their group. You didn't cross the lines, however invisible and undefined they were. You were either a computer geek, a weirdo, a motorhead, a popular kid, a brain, a sporto, or a blood. (see Eddy McClurgs description to how popular Ferris is to Ed Rooney). And yet, he also gave us hope that we weren't bound forever in those roles.
Thus, he cast Molly Ringwald as the upperclass princess (Breakfast Club), the middle class suburban invisible kid (Sixteen candles) and the blue collar urban punk kid (Pretty in Pink). Anthony Michael Hall was a brainy geek (Breakfast club) a science geek (Weird Science) and an ultimately sucessful king of geeks (Sixteen Candles)- okay, so he's always a geek- oh well. But, he creates situations and scenes where the underlying teenage angst trumps the classifications, and as Suzanne Vega sings in one of the signature tracks on Pretty in Pink "I think that somehow, somewhere inside of us, we must be similar, if not the same". Which brings me to my last eulogy for Hughes- his understanding that music can also speak louder than dialogue. Also, that he would take relative unknown artists and use them to produce a soundtrack that was as reflective and evocative as the film itself.
Just remember if you don't stop and look around sometimes, life will pass you by. Thanks John.

Happy Anniversary with Rhymes With Orange

It's been 16 years ago as of tomorrow that George and I took the plunge and pledged our lives together. So, I thought I'd share two tidbits in the funnies that made us laugh this week- one at my expense and one at his. He is still my best friend and understands my humor better than anyone- and loves me anyway! Here's to many more laughs and years together! (Credit to Rhymes With Orange cartoon strip by Hillary Price)

I am not among my tribe- encore presentation

Just sharing what I thought was an apt post from last summer, as, sigh, it still applies. Maybe I'll get a photo up that shows what I mean soon. Again, sigh. Enjoy!

It happens every summer. First is the excitement that summer is finally here. It's a part of my DNA- the internal alarm clock that says, "it's here! It's here! Summer is finally here!" For many many years, the clanging of that alarm meant one thing for me: Summer camp. A pilgrimage to the holy mountain, where like many a traveler on his way to Jerusalem, I sang the songs of ascent and inwardly squealed (and sometimes outwardly) with excitement over finally climbing the mount and entering my temple of summer. For a few years, it meant the precious few weeks of being a camper- and then for a few more years, the work, joy, exhaustion, exhilaration and fun of being on staff. And then, several years later the amazement of watching a year's worth of planning and paperwork turn itself into a cool camp experience while I served as director.
More than anything though, the one feeling I loved at camp was the feeling that this is where I belonged. I had no yearning for home or my own bed (maybe more sleep, but my bunk was just fine). I had rough times and hard times and yucky times, but even in those times, I felt like I was doing what I was made to do. It was a perfect fit if there could be such a thing. I deeply felt and understood the difference between a job and a calling.

But, now, as summertime crests and breaks into routines of pool time and family cookouts, I feel like the Jews of Psalm 137, who having been exiled to a foreign land, are asked to sing songs from home to entertain their captors. My loose paraphrase goes (with apologies to Don McLean) "By the waters of Babylon Community Pool, we laid out and wept for thee summer camp." I look around and feel like an alien in a strange land, having been banished and sent out to live among a new tribe. I have been exiled to the land of the Suburbanite tribe, with their strange costumes of capris, leather sandals, and highlighted hair, with rituals of swim meets and play-dates. There I sit in my native dress of jean shorts and t-shirts and closed-toe shoes and I feel disconnected. My fallback position isn't shopping at the mall, it's starting a fire in my back yard and roasting marshmallows while my kids catch fireflies. I find myself inviting over friends and making them participate in 'evening programs,' and I start to teach my son how to play guitar even as he starts to pack for his own precious week away at camp.

Somewhere in my innermost self is an awareness of the fact that camp time is slipping away. Even as I look at the weather radar and immediately check camp locations for impending thunderstorms, I know the summer is racing by, and while I am making the most of it, I am still missing camp. My good friend and camp director Leslie recently said of camp, "once it gets in your blood, its always with you." So true. I can't slice a watermelon without thinking of the kid who gets the corner/end piece. I can't pass up a good deal on water balloons at the dollar store. I watch all the summer movies with a thought to how it could be spoofed in a 10 minute skit. I make up my son's loft bed making sure I get all the sheets tucked in underneath so they don't hang down for points off....

So, as I lay out by the waters of Babylon-burbia and sing camp songs in my head, I will remember thee- my Zion of Summer Camp
-and I might just make a lanyard for my key chain.

Burly Girls for Jesus

So, I've been thinking about gender identities lately. No telling what brought it on- could be I'm the only woman in my household, or that I have been doing lots of gardening and outside work with school, church and home- or that its Mother's Day weekend and according to common wisdom I should be picking out jewelry or that I just finished mowing the back yard. I was especially reflecting on how I am uncategorizable. I don't easily fit into a genre of "girl" or "woman" "wife" "mom" or especially "Proverbs 31 Lady."

I was also struck by how my general circles of female friends seem to fall on two ends of a spectrum. They are either the type who love God and know how to accessorize, or they distrust religion, but really get into the outdoors. It seems like the ones I know who are the most interested in the outdoor activities that I am into- they have this healthy skepticism of religion, especially the organized variety, and they are much more likely to incorporate a little buddhism or naturalist/deist type theology, or just generally don't jive with the standard Christian curriculum. Then I have friends who I connect with on the church thing- understand the setup, get into deep Bible study, can throw down on some worship, but they don't particularly do the whole "save the planet" thing and they aren't what I would call "outdoor enthusiasts". As I reflected on this, I again found myself out of category. Of course I realize these are my own creations- and they are broad (forgive the pun) brush strokes of females I know. Noone can be easily sorted if you know them well enough, but I do see trends and tendencies. So, I came up with a sort of contiuum to help me sort this out. On one end, we'll place the church-going but not so outdoorsy type- and their generic label will be "Girly girls". On the other end, let's put those who are the more crunchy granola/outdoor/non-religious type. These I title "Burly girls." Obviously most women will fall somewhere along the spectrum, but I of course, identify strongly with both ends- and I think that makes for some cognitive dissonance for me. I am thankful, though, that cultural norms and acceptance has made this much less of an issue than it was when I was younger or especially for previous generations. Noone really cares as much anymore if you show up to church in your Tevas- but there is still a vestige of "southern lady" imbedded in me to keep me in my sensible flats, and certainly out of white after Labor Day. And lastly, before I lay out my end-pole definitions, let me say that I love finding those who can straddle the poles with me and I gravitate to odd birds like myself- my Burly girls for Jesus.

I could keep going, but you get the idea. I'm not trying to slam either end, as I said before I identify with both. I can't help but make a few pokes at both ends either. And I really want to hear from those of you who know all the references on both lists- for that would make you a member of the BGFJ sisterhood. Rock on.

what is it about spring

It's spring again.
As if there weren't enough poems, sonnets, songs, psalms and reflections on the sides of tea boxes written about it.
But it does stir my feeble word bank-
It is a remarkable thing no matter how often it happens.
The green creeps slowly up the side of my backyard mountain
until it begins to look like a burly farmboy
who rose early and has only one strap of his overalls fastened
as the other dangles behind him
waiting to be employed-
The wisteria and honeysuckle leap from the ground to send explosions of color
like pastel fireworks in a sky of barren branches
the live embers land as daffodils and tulips on the ground.
Once again I realize we won't forever be kept in the cold and dark
like my unused onion bulbs in the back of the refrigerator crisper
if we can make it another few weeks and soak in the drizzle and withstand the cool wind
then we will feel the warmth and the sun, and even start to complain about the humidity.
I can see the chance for renewal and rebirth, even if I can't find those wild asparagus patches-
and I am reminded that God still likes us.