post is the appropriate word

Post- as in post-election, post-Christian, post-modern, post-apocalyptic- you get the idea. This is another rant that I hope is so buried on the internet that no-one sees it, or that those who do get bored before they can finish it. Not facebook friendly, and that's after I cleaned out (or at least unfollowed) a lot of my more conservative voices. To be clear though, I kept them on all through the election- no matter how unsavory their posts were, or unhinged or even just cruel. I thought it was important to have a array of opinions on my feed- not to insulate myself. But after Tuesday, I can't listen anymore.

I mean, here is the Republican party- calling itself the new populists, the party of values and the party of the people. So they nominate an millionaire elite, a draft dodger and a man whose values surely stop at the bottom line of everything- if it is not monetize-able it is not worthwhile. He openly identifies as only the nominee of certain people- white scared people. And lazy people- ones who think Jesus needs the Supreme Court to get the work done in the USA cause they are enjoying their tax-exempt status too much to get out of their segregated churches and do ANYTHING! Outreach to the poor, homeless, gay, muslim- any chance to bring the good news to the very groups Jesus commanded us to bring it to- this work is too hard! Just raise money and pay for it- get someone else's group to do it- I am too busy preparing a sermon for stewardship week to go actually take care of the poor, orphaned and widowed. Don't we have a committee that takes food to shut ins (but only the ones who used to give to the church or maybe still do)? We have no faith that the God of the Universe is calling us to WORK in this world, not just lay around in our middle class existence and enjoy the #BLESSED life. We aren't all rich and well off because we are being rewarded for our faith and good works (Don't you know your reward is in heaven?). We are blessed with those things so we can go out and bless others- Abraham (and by extension his descendants) was called to be a BLESSING to the nations- not the bringer of war, protector of one country and persecutor of innocent souls. No, the persecutor role was given to Satan- who seems to have gotten very good at outsourcing.

So yeah the GOP was falling apart on November 5. all poised to have some good meaningful discussions about who they were, how they needed to shake up the old guard, acknowledge their failings with minorities, to join most of the rest of the world in being the opposite of the radical Islamic jihadists, not just the exact same approach with a different guy's face on the front. (I mean let's see where they align- hate homosexuality- check, persecute those who don't follow your faith- check, use government to enforce your worldview on every citizen-check, want women to have lots of babies, give them good sex and keep their mouths shut- check, bomb civilians and militants alike to make a point-check; Jesus has no time for those who would wage war in his name- if you want to go blow up the middle east in the name of freedom, have at, but don't for a minute think it should be in the name of God).

They were just about there- losing the election would be the catalyst to their party doing an update, a reboot, a cleaning of house to get rid of the rotten eggs (like the altright white supremacists and wacka doodle conspiracy nazis). Trump represented what many of them disliked about their party- he was a chemotherapy dose for a cancer ridden patient. But NOOOO- he won! So now, its all legit. Not only did he win, but they have congress back too. The people have spoken (though they lost the popular vote)- racism and misogyny wins! There were looking for a new direction and boom, there it is! If Trump can win with all this negative immoral completely batshit crazy stuff then it must be the way to go! The AltRight didn't just get legitimized, it just won the GD white house! It is not just acceptable, it is now the path to the future! I can only hope that as this cancer is metastasizing, it will kill the patient- but how much suffering happens first? And will it only kill the GOP or will it spread to infect the whole country? Time will tell on that- but on election day- greed won. Lazy Christians won (I'm looking at you Franklin and Falwell). Pride and cruelty won. And ignorance- it won bigly.

Speaking of ignorance, let me ask this- how in the hell do people think Trump is going to "stick it to the establishment" or "Blow up the system" when it is the very establishment and system he has benefited from his entire life? He is going to drain the swamp of corruption in DC by appointing all his political cronies to cabinet positions just to pay them back for their support? That's not corrupt at all. He's going to rework the tax code so he and his ilk are taxed more? You know, weed isn't legal everywhere yet, and if you believe he'll raise his own taxes you must be smoking something! Do you think getting rid of Obamacare and health care insurance mandates will benefit the poor white diabetes patients of Kentucky? Nope. Maybe letting Paul Ryan have at it with the budget will mean an increase in your Social Security monthly check? Think again. And as to deporting illegals- no worries there, they've probably already left, so I guess you'll just have to settle for beating the shit out of any brown person who dares cross you (or black or asian or queer or whatever- I know how equal opportunity hate can be). He is going to build a wall across one of the largest land borders in the world to keep drugs out- too bad drone technology is so bad? And my SC friend who will send her 18 year old off to join the Marines to have a career and a head start in life, will she feel pride that he was killed because we sent troops in to defend the pride of a thin skinned president who is provoked by tweets? I will be praying for them. These ideas he has, they aren't necessarily bad promises, but they were made by a bad man. A man who has a horrible record of keeping his promises. He can't even pay his damn plumber what he promises him. (Hey Joe the Plumber- where you at bro?) He can't honor his contracts or pay his investors/banks (bankruptcy means you can't pay them) he can't keep promises he has made at the marriage altar- third times the charm, yo! He can't keep promises to his wife(+2) and children and you think he's going to keep a promise to a no-name coal miner from West Virginia?

And the whole "I am moving to Canada" thing- that's laziness too- easier to run away than stay and fight. And let me be clear- lying, manipulating and amassing shitloads of money to try and gain office as the Democrats have done is also sinful and worthy of scorn. And while God does not rank sin (all have sinned and fallen short- except evidently DJT who says he has no need to ask forgiveness) while God does not rank sin, I do- or at least I rank their outcomes. God promises those who confess and repent will be forgiven of their sins. However, there is not a promise that you will not have to deal with the consequences of that sin. Natural consequences happen from sins, and those have a tangible hierarchy to them. So in my view, lying about your emails does not hurt near the number of people or cause near the amount of suffering as cheating on your wife and committing sexual assault. Or to be fair, lying about something you said on tape (eg: support for the Iraq war) does not have the same consequences as lying about a nation having Weapons of Mass Destruction to justify killing American and Iraqi people. I am thankful God sees all sins the same and forgives them all the same as well. But in this life, I have to make judgement calls on something, and I am not allowed to equivocate a heaping pile of disgusting words and actions by Trump with an avarice for power by Clinton. The early church ranked the cardinal sins, and Pride was far worse than Gluttony or Greed. I can acknowledge that Clinton may be bad, but if I'm ranking them, Trump is worse by a wide margin.

I am at least heartened to know that a majority of Americans did NOT vote for Trump. If you combine all the votes for Clinton plus third party then it isn't even close. I know that doesn't matter with the way our system is set up. If we all did electoral votes as Maine does, Clinton would have won. (I haven't done the full math there- most likely Clinton wouldn't have reached 270 either but you get my point). But he did, and so he becomes our face to the world, the GOP loses any incentive to change its ways and in fact will likely become bigger racist assholes than ever. Demographics tell us that whites will actually be less than 50% of the American population in 2043. 27 years seems like a long time to wait, but those demographics are likely to provide change faster than that if the electoral college stays put. Republicans cannot expect to continue to win much longer with this route. And as for white evangelicals- why wouldn't you want immigrants and refugees lining up at your door so that you could show them what a truly Christian nation looks like and how Christ's love includes them? I just think you are scared, greedy and lazy. You have no interest in spreading the gospel to every tribe, tongue, language and race- you just want to live in your little red, white and blue bubble of middle class privilege and watch some trash TV (also known as nightly news since you just elected a reality game show host to be president).

I can't wait to see some headlines from the next few years-  "Trump admires Angela Merkel's 'giant hooters'" Judge finds President in contempt of court for not showing up in Fraud case" "President Trump tells Hollande and Trudeau to 'Get a Room, you Frenchies'" "Chinese battleships take over Kodiak Island" or "President accused of groping intern" (wait, that seems like a repeat). I do predict that when my WVA coal miner with diabetes can't get insulin for less than $150 a bottle due to unfettered insurance companies, and when my rust belt friends realize their jobs didn't go to the Chinese but instead to robots, and when Sec. of the Interior Palin makes it so no one but Todd can hunt on Federal lands because they might disturb oil well drilling, and when Sec. Guiliani decides churches need to pay their fair share in taxes because we can't expect the corporations to do it- Well, then they might just realize what stupid asses they were for thinking the king of con men was something more than a huckster and a steak salesman. You have been used my brethren- but hopefully you will wake up and turn the entertaining TV infomercial off.  May God have mercy on all of us til then. (and after but you know it sounded better if I ended it there)

mid winter rants

Hopefully this will just be a regular, "no one sees it" rant. One where I use so many words and follow so many tangents that people who might stumble across it are far more likely to get bored before they get agitated. I need to vent- and I know better than to try and do this on Facebook- FB is such a great illustration of the blind men and the elephant- everyone is an expert, and yet they see things completely differently. And, at the end, none of us has seen the full picture. I also think people overestimate the friendliness of the crowd they are addressing- as if simply being friends with someone on FB means you think like they do- ah, not so much. Anyway, if I had fallen to the temptation to post on facebook- I'm pretty sure my posts would have gone something like this: "Why are we the only parents in the whole of our world that think it is not appropriate for our 14 year old to own M rated video games that glorify gun violence?" and "why can't we act like grown ups and think about limiting semi automatic guns that shoot 30 rounds in 10 seconds- of yeah that's right, because you start screaming 'they're taking away all the guns everywhere!" and "What makes you think that a teacher with a gun in her desk is going to be any better able to stop a maniac who is firing off multiple rounds of ammo from a semi-automatic as he walks in her door?" and "how would my owing a semi-auto handgun help keep my kid from getting shot at school, or in a movie theatre or in the mall?" Obviously- lots to do with guns and the Newtown shootings, and all the crap that comes with it. Then there's the host of statuses where I question God, wonder what the hell I'm going to do now that I'm all grown up, where I shred this concept of a 'Christian nation', where I decry the fact that no matter how well you follow God and keep him at the center of your life, no matter how much, there are no guarantees- evil is pretty unbiased in its ability to affect everyone. Whether its the bishop who's son commits suicide, or the godly family who's child has a brain tumor, or the devoted young couple who lose their house to fire, or the faithful grandmother killed by a drunk driver- evil is pervasive and there are no guarantees. Losing one child doesn't mean you won't lose another- losing a brother doesn't make your family safe from tragedy- working faithfully through years of low paying clergy jobs doesn't mean your insurance won't drop your wife with MS after you lose your job. There just aren't any guarantees. And don't get me wrong- the evil hasn't won- it may claim a battle, but it will never remain victorious for the war. I still believe God is in charge and Jesus has defeated death, and nothing will separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus- nothing. Sometimes I need to type it out to remind myself though- because while I know these things in my head, I don't always feel them in my heart. And the 'whys' overwhelm the 'wise' in me. And when I'm just trying to keep the dog walked, the family fed, the dust busted and the job done- I don't have a lot of time to seek a happy place and meditate on God's goodness. Instead I slam a door and mutter under my breath as I negotiate traffic on my way to carline. Oh and I know, I choose my attitude- I have control of my emotions- I know healthy ways to deal with stress and heartache- but every once in awhile it gets to be too much. So, here I am typing- letting out the rant that builds up and threatens to 'splode! Maybe getting some enlightenment.
But here now, a real rant- the whole Christian nation thing- always a source of bother for me. Why would God be any more American than he was say, a yankees fan? I really believe American Christians are lazy and want there to be prayer in schools so they won't have to teach their own kids how to pray every morning at their own homes- they want the government to stay out of their businesses and pocketbooks- but by golly, please tell us what is acceptable bedroom behavior and let us spout all kinds of nonsense about how God lets people get shot because the community didn't stone the gays. How can the same network (FOX) spend so many hours a day talking about the horrible moral condition of America and then also have some of the crappiest, dirtiest, nastiest most violent shows on TV? They pass off animated shows as good clean fun, while animated babies call their fathers assholes and animated park rangers sleep with bears- its all just for fun, isn't it? The most moral shows on TV in the past few decades? Touched by an Angel- CBS, Sesame Street-PBS, Highway to Heaven-NBC, Seventh Heaven- WB, Early Edition- CBS, Dora the Explorer- Nick; Extreme Home Makeover- ABC; What do we watch Fox for? The Simpsons, Family Guy, Glee, that 70's show and of course, American Idol- where a good voice will get you so far, but a good body will get you farther.Many distinguish between Fox networks and Fox news, but I don't- the money all goes to the same spot. And that's just the point I've been heading to- the money.
Oh, when did we see you naked and not clothe you Jesus, and when did we see you hungry and not feed you? Or when did we see you unable to pay your housepayment because of medical bills since you weren't covered by insurance since your state broke up all unions and the carpenters local lost ability to get comprehensive plans for workers? Surely you don't want us to vote for Democrats, who won't go to the right churches that banish abortions? And how about how mad everyone gets at the Westboro church when they show up at a soldier's funeral talking about how godless the nation is, but it's okay for Mike Huckabee to cheapen the memory of 20 1st graders by doing the same thing on tv? We can't raise taxes on 'job creators' because it will kill the economy- and sure, billions of dollars spent on some sort (or two) of quasi holy war in the middle east didn't hurt the economy at all! Money, money and more money- churches build mega buildings with state of the art technology while people live in shacks heated by firewood all winter just down the street. Show me the money- and I'll show you a religious electorate that can be bought and sold in minutes. Played like a cheap fiddle- using emotion and fear as capital to buy an election and further the bottom line!Oh and heaven forbid that a government paid for and representing all faiths, would take the ten commandments or other religious symbols down from public spaces. I mean, don't they know of the overwhelming huge number of people who give their lives to Jesus because they saw a creche in front of the fire station? Or all the godless serial killers who saw the ten commandments in front of the court house and changed their minds? I have met so many people that come to faith that way- NOT! Should a church be allowed to have a big ol creche on its property- absolutely! Should the private land owner be allowed to put up a big honking crucifix and posters of his favorite verses at the busiest intersection in town that just happens to belong to him? Have at! Should a city hall be allowed to put up a big star and crescent on its front lawn as long as no one complains? Sure- but once they express outrage (and don't you know they would!) it should come down- or maybe it should be joined with a wiccan tree sculpture, a giant mennorah and maybe a small cross or something. Yea, that would go over well in the south.
You know, I am shaking my head as I realize that I have often tested with the spiritual gift of Prophecy- thinking it meant I was good at speaking forth the truth to those in the church- thinking that was cool- not realizing it put me in company with cranks like Amos and Hosea and John the baptist and St Francis and other such loons. Oh boy. That's an appealing career calling- although I can't say I haven't considered taking up preaching in front of city hall! It has actually crossed my mind before!
The hard work that American Christians don't want to seem to do is realize, a) the rest of the US has actually moved on from Christianity. They like the Christmas season (its great for the economy after all) and Santa is cool- good chocolate in the springtime is fun too (Easter should be the holiday Christians fight for, but it doesn't even warrant a day off of school anymore in all places!) most Americans will say they are Christians, but they aren't really- it's easier to just say you are than listen to someone drone on about it. b) since the rest of the country is post-christian, old models won't work. The way things were in 1958 (complete with church sanctioned racism and misogynistic practices) is not how they are now, so the same model of Sunday School ain't gonna cut it. c) If you want to see culture change then you have to have people change- heart change- that is hard work that happens through loving and lasting relational ministry. Even the majority of church goers are not truly interested in sacrificially following Jesus- there are beach houses to visit, and football games to tailgate, and large TVs to be bought. This giving of our excess of possessions has bled over into giving only the excess of our hearts too- if we have a little extra time and inclination, we'll think about Jesus- and we'll go to church every once and awhile- that should do it. d) I don't think God wants a nation state anymore- he didn't want it when Saul became king, he didn't want it when Satan offered it to Jesus, and I don't think he wants it now. Stop wasting energy on that. (funny that I mention Satan- I think he's been very effective making us waste a lot of energy on politics of the US rather than doing the work of the church!- and he used the oldest trick- the temptation of putting good Christians in power so they can do more good- power is quite seductive- even when you mean to do good with it- and yet we forget so quickly that the greatest will be least and the least will be great. I am reminded of Frodo's interchange with the Lady of the Wood and how she would be queen with the ring in her possession- but how the truly best thing was to spurn that power and instead let that pass by.
Here's my other big rant- to me, violence in America is like Diabetes. Diabetes is a deadly disease that kills lots of people. Left untreated, it kills quickly and is pretty painful. Treated, it can be regulated and in some people, often reversed or mitigated to such a point that it is like they don't have it- although you will never be able to fully eradicate it. There are real, solid things you can do for people with Diabetes to give them long productive lives- changes in diet, exercise and medicines can be combined to make it a very liveable disease. And if you or a loved one had diabetes, wouldn't you do everything you could to make it better and more liveable? Guns and violence are the same in my eyes- we'll never get rid of violence- and it looks like we'll not get rid of guns anytime soon either. But, there are real, solid things we can do to lessen it. Getting rid of high capacity magazines and semi-automatic and automatic weapons is like stopping sugar intake and taking up jogging. Making a national database for gun permit checks and cross checking with  mental health records is like getting some insulin and other drugs going in the system. Why are we letting a few very sick, fearful anxiety ridden people push every fear button in our souls to keep us from making this situation better? The only solution is to arm teachers and have more guns? That's like saying a diabetic should just eat more carbs to balance out the sugars...(which is crazy if you understand digestion). Our kids shouldn't be playing this graphic first person shooter games for 8 hours straight any more than they should be having Pepsi three times a day. Why is this such a big freaking deal? Keep your rifles and hunting guns, your handguns and pistols in your purse- but just get rid of the damn military killing rifles! Even if you own a semi AK-47, unless you walk around with it, you will never be able to beat the guy who bursts into your classroom or theatre or mall already shooting one! I get where having a pistol might mitigate a mugging, or someone else shooting a limited 10 round gun who has had to stop to reload- you have a chance then- but unless these high capacity weapons are unavilable (and don't give me that fucking crap about how criminals will always find ways to have them- we can get rid of all smallpox in a decade, but you don't think we could get rid of all semi-automatics? Drug cartels will always find ways of getting these- but I don't think they're behind any of the mass shootings of the last decade) we will just have another Columbine (where there was an armed school resource officer by the way) another Sandy Hook, and another Virginia Tech (where there is a military training program and multiple armed security officers all over campus). There are real things that can and should be done and when the congress finally grows the balls to do them, I don't want to hear the paranoid delusions of a state takeover that is really just a front for keeping the money flowing to elections via the most powerful PAC (the NRA) known to modern America. It's like the National Council on Sugar making the suggestions for Diabetes treatment! Wake up and take your insulin.
Well, seeing as how very few if any will see this, I'll rest easy that it did what I needed to do- vent. I certainly covered a multitude of topics. If you're offended- why are you trolling the blogosphere for something to be mad about? No one made you read it, and go comment on some fox news blog if you want to be acknowledged. This way makes me feel like at least my voice is out there and I've said what I felt and hopefully it is for the better. At the very least I will stop berating my husband with my opinions.

What is going swimmingly in your life right now?

Well. That is an interesting question. It infers that somewhere something is going well in your life. Of course, being that you usually swim in deeper quieter pools of water, or a chemically balanced institutional pool, that would fit my life right now. For I have felt like I've been in a quiet unchanging sort of place for awhile now. I keep waiting for things to get a little more interesting- for my innertube to come floating by and take me onto more free flowing purposeful waters. But, that hasn't happened. While I can't blame my family, I do know that the option of getting up and leaving the pool for more exciting water is not really an option right now, so I continue to wait here.
And yes, many things could be said to be going swimmingly. I have great, talented kids, a wonderfully loving and supportive partner, a solid part time job that pays well why keeping me in the black, and plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me going. I just very much didn't want to be a person who lived until they had kids, and then just lived through the kids lives. I often ask my husband, what do we look forward to now? You look forward to graduating, going to college, getting out of college, getting a job, marrying someone, buying a house, having kids and then....watching your kids get married? paying of the mortgage? Retiring? There's a whole lot of living that takes place between the former things in that list and the latter. I really don't think its a mid-life crisis as much as a mid-life loss of purpose. Women it seems are particularly bad about letting their kids and families' goals become their own.
So yes, back to the question. Merrily we roll along, except I keep feeling like I'm stuck in the lazy river, but all in all, it is an enjoyable time, and someday I am sure I will wonder what on earth I was so worked up about?

do you consider yourself a strong swimmer?

Yes. But not competitive or long distance or "rescue everyone from a shipwreck" style. I have a natural ability to float- so that would help. I once swam a mile for my lifesaving course- I never got to finish the course since I opted for rest time over training. I am definitely out of shape, so I'm sure I could easily overestimate my abilities or stamina. But, still, I think I'm a moderate to strong swimmer.

What kind of fish are you most like?

I'm going to go with trout. I enjoy a nice mountain stream, I hang out in the quiet pool when possible, I like the rhododendron covered hillsides and when it gets cold, I only keep moving to stay alive. I hang around with others like me, but I can be on my own as well- and given the opportunity, I will eat and be lazy until I am large and luscious. I also am fresh water versus salt water and occasionally I swim against the stream- so there it is: a mountain brook trout.

Are you scared of being in open water?

I get weekends off with this challenge, I think, and with the holiday being on a Monday, I took Sunday and Monday as my weekend. Back at it today.

I am not neccesarily scared of being in open water. I spent a great amount of time as a kid on Lake Wylie in my dad's boat, anchoring in coves, swimming, eating Penrose hot sausages, watching my Dad pee off the end of the boat, etc. We did a little skiing, but not alot- mostly wandering around until weather or sunset pushed us back home. Even though it's a large lake, you could always see the shore for the most part, so I'm not sure it qualifies as "open water". I have also spent time at the beach, and been on one whole cruise in my lifetime. Being out in the Atlantic looking in every direction unable to see any land- that was truly open water. It was also December, and even though we were near Bahamas et al, it wasn't a time to spend a lot of time contemplating the open ocean. I did go up front one time to see if there were any dolphin, or whales near by, or flying fish as were rumored. Saw none of those, but did get an appreciation for the vastness of the ocean. Not just the breadth of it- water as far as you see in every direction- but also for the depth of it- realizing that you are in waters 300, 500, 3000, or 5000 feet deep. Not having a depth finder handy, I'm just guessing on those depths- but I do know it was way over my head. So, you become quite aware of how sturdy a boat you're on. I thought of how flat it seemed from our height and given the fact it was clear and calm. I could only imagine rolling over the billows as a hurricane swirled to our south, or a storm came sweeping through. The images from "The Poseidon Adventure," "The Perfect Storm," or "Titanic" provide ample imagery for me- I have no desire to experience that for myself- heck, the storm that shipwrecked Gilligan et al seemed pretty wicked to me.
So, in short, as far as I know I am not overly scared of open water, but I might change my mind if the tide changes.

day 2

Well- there's no prompt for today on a Saturday. The farmers market this morning was busy- lots of vendors, lots of food- lots of visitors. The historical society came and brought lots of agricultural tools and old timey things. I had some good conversations with Country Hawkins and Mann Batson- both local history experts. Lots of good confirmation about information I already had. I did learn that until the 1850's there were mandatory militias, which would have led to Henry Lynch being called Major or Colonel. I still can't find a connection with Charleston. But, we'll keep working on that. If you have no idea what I am talking about, it's all in the historical fiction book I might write some day. Until then- I'm off to do some research!