Everyone, get on the floor...

Time to walk the llamas! This is the second year Burke's cub scout group has gotten the 'honor' of leading a group of llamas in the Travelers Rest Christmas parade. Like the many other wonderful small town parades in the US for Christmas time- TR has a great 1 mile long route lined with every variety of humanity and involving all sorts of floats and convertible parade participants. Josh's den and the rest of the troop rode on the back of a large farm trailer decorated with a tent and a christmas tree. It was quite a show... here are some pics...

Oh Ro-oo-bb

I have this way of hearing or seeing people and thinking they remind me of someone, and this morning while listening to NPR I had this revelation. They were doing an interview with Sec. of State Condolezza Rice and as she spoke I was suddenly hearing Laura Petrie's voice from the Dick Van Dyke show! They had the same inflection and tone, and while the content was assuredly different, they sounded much alike. And as I thought about it, I realized that with her 'Condi-flip' hair style- Sec. Rice actually looks like Mary Tyler Moore's character in the 60's (of course, minus some pigmentation). So, I googled some pictures so you can see for yourself and decide if I'm onto something or need to go sleep in my own twin bed tonight.

And I couldn't resist putting these in, although the resemblence isn't quite as strong- I still like the juxtaposition of strong educated woman with a goofy comedian behind her...

Why is that such a bad thing?

So, another burr in my saddle lately has been this amazing tactic by the Republican party at the end of the campaign to label Obama a socialist. You remember, Joe the Plumber, spread the wealth, all that jazz? What was so bothersome to me about it was that this was said with the venom of labeling someone a godless pagan child sacrificer. The Republicans wanted to claim their place as the mouthpiece of God- as the standard bearers of the Christian Gospel- the protectors of all that is right and good and holy and that can't include Socialism. The reason it can't include Socialism is a two-fold error in my opinion.
First, all socialism is immediately and forever associated with godless socialism, or communism- most especially socialism as it was/is found in the USSR, China and despite the presence of some amazing and beautiful cathedrals, France. These countries had experiments with socialism that turned into communism and either forbid religion or make it out to be a social ill. Marx did say religion was the opiate of the masses, but the totalitarian governments of Mao and Stalin were the ones who made it criminal. I am horrified at the way these countries have treated people because of their faith. (And yet, most Christians in America must not have too much trouble with how their brethren in China are treated as long as we can continue to get cheap Chinese goods for a low price at Wal-mart et al. ) In some ways it has been a way to define ourselves against those countries- The US is democratic, Christian and believes in individual property. The others are socialist/communist with dictators and politburos and everything is owned communally. So, since our historical and world knowledge tends to be limited, we equate all socialist activities with the godless communist type. A definite misunderstanding of the basic definition of socialism.
Secondly, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of Christianity. Yep. you read that right. The party of the religious right is wrong in this regard. Now, its only wrong if you take a fairly literal reading of the scriptures. Literal. Not ambiguous. Take the scriptures at face value. Like this one:
"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had." Acts 2:32 (followed by the object lesson of Ananias and Sapphira who were struck dead because they failed to fully participate in communal living).
or how about this one:
"the land must not be sold permanently because the land is mine and you are but aliens and my tenants" Leviticus 25:23 in God's instructions to the Israelites about their promised land.
How about from Mark 10:
"One thing you lack' he said 'Go, sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Jesus' instructions to the rich man, who couldn't do it.
or "therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers" Galatians 6:10
and lastly
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share." 1 Tim 6:17-18

Over and over again, I read the scriptures and find the instruction to be about letting go of belongings, money and stuff and instead to take care of others, to focus on God, to worship by having a lifestyle of sacrifice and sharing- not accumulating as much stuff as possible and guarding it by not having it taxed or 'spread' around to those who need it more than me. I find that God constantly reminds us that it's not our stuff in the first place, it's his- and we are given blessings so that we can then be his agents of blessing for others. It's my interpretation of course, but I can't help but think that those who claim to be both righteous Christians and completely anti-socialist haven't been reading their scriptures the same way I have. I'm not ready to change my party affiliation to socialist, nor do I think the US needs to become a socialist country. But like my previous post on inconsistency- don't say you're representing God's worldview and then speak something that is fairly antithetical to scripture- since when is protectionist greed the way of God? I am thankful we live in a country that allows me the right to say this- and someone else the right to completely disagree. But in the end, I think that to advocate 'spreading the wealth' from those who have too much to those in need- well to me that sounds like a really Christian thing to say, socialist or not.

Advent Conspiracy

Spend less. Give more. I'm going to try hard to do this very thing.

Rhetorically speaking....

I had this strange memory pop up today. When I was a youth minister in Winston Salem, our rector of 31 years retired. He was a great pastor, a pretty hard line traditionalist and ran a tight staff that he demanded a reasonable amount from. He managed vestries and building projects and diocesan policies pretty well considering. But he was a bad preacher. Not horrible, certainly not heretical or anything- just sort of short and folksy tidbits about the gospel and life. After an 18 month interim, we installed a new rector- a young fellow, bold, bright, and a fabulous preacher and writer- he had a real gift for wordcraft. But he was a horrible pastor and a mediocre administrator. He spent a good deal of money on what most considered frivolous items, and didn't respond to people's honest concerns- somewhat aloof and elite. He lasted 18 months and then we were again in the search process.
This has always been a great illustration to me of how people, and especially institutions respond to what is wrong by replacing it with the opposite. It made me quite depressed to think that maybe this election was simply about replacing a folksy, poorly spoken 'decider' with a well spoken but out of touch elitist. But then I revisited one of the earliest speeches that Obama made- and regardless of what happens, I am convinced that this will go down as one of the top speeches in history- and I was reminded that what has been missing for so long is someone to lead- not administrate- someone to lay out a vision and capture our imaginations and get us working together and to remember all that is good and possible in the US- not to hunker us down in a fear bunker and limits our hope to simply surviving the current crisis. There is power in words, and if I have to endure political rhetoric, at least this is the type I'd rather listen to.

That's what I'm talking about

I've been trying to reconcile some reading I've done on empires and the Christian church- especially as to how it relates to the USA and the American church- and how do you express those ideas without seeming unamerican or a far left socialist liberal? Here's a good attempt:
Oliver Thomas USAToday article.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

and another thing

I'll just start by saying that since noone ever comments on my posts, I have no filters and no feeling of censoring what I write about- I'm either a)too wordy and nobody reads the whole thing b) too boring or c)way too out there for anyone to throw me a lifeline. I suspect it's A, but its hard to tell. Anyway, since noone comments, I must not be ticking too many people off, or knowing the blogosphere, I'm sure I'd hear about it- although that is making the haughty assumption that ANYone reads this but me! Whatever the case, I'm having fun and noone else seems to want to join the ride on my crazy train so off I go!

The last few days I've been struck by a few of those inconsistency issues. Inconsistency is my hobgoblin. I dislike it. It seems to get worse around election season, and no wonder, what with candidates trying so hard to be all things to at least 51% of the people (in the right states). First is my observation that SOME of those who disagree with the assertion that climate change is man-made also happen to ascribe to the literal timeline of creation (6,000 years give or take). Now, how is it that in one argument you can say that the world is only 6,000 years old and that the fossil record and so forth are up for debate, and in the other argument say that we can't blame global warming in human activity when it can be scientifically be proven the earth has been warm in eons past. Yes, its true that the world has been warmer in eons past- when all the midwest was one giant carribean ocean, and loads of dinosaurs ate the swampy grass matter (and each other) in this humid (but also equitorial) environment. This is pre-ice age, and is dated to be over 100,000 years ago and more so! Which is impossible if the world is only 6,000 years old. So, if you're going to be consistent, you will have to admit that the current temperature quotients are the highest they've ever been in the last 6,000 years. So, since man came into the picture, the globe has gotten warmer. You can't have it both ways!

My second incosistency has to do with the Episcopal church (national) which is doing it's damnest (and I think that's the perfect word here) to fulfill the UN's millenial Development Goals, and do social outreach and all sorts of good 'work' to help those oppressed by our systemic sinful governments and empires while at the same time is so very quiet about two huge uses of money that they are involved with. One is the ongoing lawsuits and legal wrangling to hold onto property and assets and things of this world- as dioceses and parishes remove themselves from the church- "You can't have it- it's MINE!" There is also no response to many calls for financial transperancy on this matter nor any divulgence of exactly how much money is being spent to pay legal and lawyer fees. Secondly, they have been mute in regards to the Wall Street meltdown and corporate greed that is threatening to take down the world financial markets. Why? I think its because they own Wall Street- literally- because Trinity Church, Wall Street owns their whole block and rents it out to those self-same corporations involved with this sub-prime mortgage credit crunch asset CEO bonus oil rich meltdown of a mess we're in. That church and the national church (also in NYC) gain amazing amounts of wealth from their own stocks, money markets, mutual funds and so forth. Trinity even has its own parish conference center in Connecticut. How much money do we need to simply sustain our pretty buildings? A lot I guess, to pay the lawyers. But meanwhile we dare to call the government of say, Germany, out on their reluctance to relinguish 3rd world debt? The last I read it, Jesus said to go and sell all you own and follow him. But I guess that's a little unclear in these uncertain times.

Cynically yours and longing for consistency- Smitty

OK maybe I'm not so crazy

Here's a link to an article about Wachovia turning into a subsidiary of Citigroup. Why? Because their bad risks and debt were too much. A global financial meltdown... a couple of weeks ago that was just crazy talk. Now- well- anyone know the best way to stash money in a mattress?

On a tangent to that- I am reminded of the proverb "The love of money is the root of all evil." Maybe the church and Christians need to remind themselves of what it means to be subjects of a heavenly kingdom, and that Capitalism, or even Democracy, are not synonymous with Christianity. I give big props to my friend Lindsay who said "Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a govenor." Hmm. Now I'm not just a prophet of doom, but a fledgling socialist to boot. And I'm just trying to be a faihful follower of Jesus.

Bring it on.

I'm further out than I need to be, but...

See, back when I was doing some research about Wal Mart, I came across some information that was a little arcane and obscure for most regular cocktail party rants I might make about the retail behemoth's shortcomings (in my mind). It is my usual anti-Wal-mart fare to talk about their under-insured workers, or forced overtime or discrimination towards women and so forth. No, this is a little more indepth and even bordered on conspiracy theory radical. See, what I found out while looking up info on the Securities and Exchange website, is that while Wal-mart is a publically traded company, all of its holdings are off-shore. They have not 1, not 2, but at least 5 offshore banks. Mostly Cayman island accounts- one in Euros, one in British Sterling, one in gold. You get the picture. Or do you? None of their money is in US banks. This is where my paranoia crept in and came up with a possible, although not so probable at the time, theory.
What if, I said, there was some sort of financial meltdown, and somehow China and Japan and several other countries, called in the debt. You know- that 5 trillion dollar thing that has grown into being since 2000. The same debt that is being bought up and serviced by countries like China (well over 50% is owned in treasury bills by foreign countries). I mean, what are the chances really? What, besides an entire global crisis, or the chance to own our resources and land, and people, would make China do such a thing? And let's say for the sake of argument they do call in this chunk of change- where does the US government turn to pay the bill? I mean, will China take "we're bankrupt" for an answer? So, the US turns to its banks for the cash. Whoops. They have extended so many bad mortgages and credit lines that they too are out of cash! So, let's go to the largest, most profitable industries and companies to loan the US the cash they need- in fact, let's assume they are unwilling, and for the sake of keeping us from having to turn over the deed to Alaska, we take action to actually seize some of their assets. Guess what? We can't touch most of those funds (which would be substantial) because they are held off shore. So, while Wal-mart (and their friends who do the same things) will have all the money they can make by continuing to inflate the trade deficit by consuming Chinese products, they may not have a country in which to continue their enterprise. Although, maybe communist China will change their stance on private enterprise when they own us.
NOW, before you all give me great instructive comments on how that can't really happen, and I am woefully ignorant on my international trade knowledge, please keep in mind that I am talking far out "what-ifs", and I already said it is improbable. I am just spinning a larger hyperbolic narrative to say that sometimes we should pay attention to little details like where the largest US private employer keeps its money. And, which of the two possible next administrations is likely to change how that happens, and which is likely to pretend there is no problem while pushing its cart down the mega-store aisle.

great video on outdoor learning

OK- so I haven't really kept up with everything out there, but apparantly, there is a bill in congress right now called "No child left Inside" to encourage outdoor learning and ecological education. It is supposed to be up for a vote this week- but here is a link with a cool video:
video

and here is the link to show its current status- due up for a vote on Thursday Sept 11th. Neocons decry it saying it will take away from traditional teaching time- which in my world translates into less worksheets for my kids to mindlessly fill out. I'm not usually given to tree-hugging liberalism, but I am definitely in support of this initiative.

HR 3036. Its a start.

Live from the RNC.....it's ??

Given Sarah Palin's remarkable resemblance to former SNL anchor Tina Fey, it took me awhile during her speech at the Republican Convention to take Gov. Palin seriously. For much of the speech, which was well delivered and well paced(she is a charismatic speaker, regardless of content), I kept taking in the hyperbole waiting for it to finally crest over the top. You know how it goes on an SNL political spoof, they start by talking basic ideals and thoughts, making more and more outlandish statements until they are finally saying things like "I think we should all run naked on the lawn." or "All broccoli will now be outlawed." You know.

So as Sarah Palin spoke first about her family and upbringing, I followed along- anticipating where we were going with this. Then came the support statements for McCain- OK, now we're building- and then finally, when we hit the attacks on the opposition, I almost wanted to start laughing. I say almost, because it was obvious there were many people who were absolutely supporting this line of thinking- this was no send-up of politics, this was the actual thing. And don't get me wrong, I am not belittling Palin or the RNC or its delegates- they happen to share some of my ideals. And yes, I know, there is more than enough political hyberbole for both sides to use and skew- and they do- early and often. Still, I am ready to turn off the TV now, and tune out until November. Because whether or not it feels like it should be a humorous sketch- it has stopped being amusing.

Never be Mine

It happens a couple of times of year. Sometimes I think it is brought on because of a conversation, a random thought, or because the cool magazine came in the mail. Somehow I am reminded of Sewanee, or The University of the South, and I usually end up having a dream about how I am back there trying to finish up. See, I started off at Sewanee- a small liberal arts Episcopal college in Tennessee. 10,000 acres with a gothic/Oxford inspired campus nestled on a remote part of the Cumberland Plateau. I went there sight unseen. A college visit had not ever worked itself out, so based on their slick photos and the testimony of one of my best friends, Mike, who was also headed there- off I went. Despite the student enforced dress code of coats and ties for men and skirts and dresses for women, I was still drawn to the amazing blend of natural surroundings and major liberal arts emphasis. I thouroughly enjoyed my time there- and was just on the verge of getting my gown, when my Dad insisted I transfer. It was a no-brainer for him when you compared the cost of that small school's tuition with the cost and opportunity offered by the in-state options of UNC and the like.

Don't get me wrong, God had other plans for me, and my transfer to UNC worked out in really amazing ways. I doubt my life would have taken the same path of youth ministry and camp work without having been back in NC. I had the opportunity to major in something that fit me well (speech communications) and take some classes that wouldn't have happened as an English major at Sewanee. I really did move on and embrace life as it came. I don't spend a great amount of time thinking I should have stayed, or regretting that I tranferred. I also managed to avoid some destructive behaviors I was being drawn towards as well- so that was a definite positive. Plus, I gained a sports team to pull for!

Still, a couple of times a year I have this dream about being back at Sewanee and trying to finish- sometimes I am college aged, sometimes I am the age I am now. Sometimes I am married, sometimes I am not. Sometimes I have my gown and I'm getting ready to take my comps! (I actually didn't mind not having to do those). Whatever the case, it's unfinished business in some way- something I will never get to complete. So, since the big alumni magazine came in the mail today (how I am considered an alum is still kind of curious to me) and since I was reviewing my days of canoe racing while thinking of Olympic paddling events, and since I wrote this blog, I'll expect one of those unfinished dreams soon!

We went west with the young men!

vacation photos-Colorado, Utah, New Mexico

Old MacDonald had a what?

OK- so my kids sometimes watch this show called Barnyard- its a spin off from the movie of the same title. Computer animated farm animals have a secret life of pizza orders, movies, joyrides in the farmer's truck. They usually walk on 2 legs when the humans aren't around- lots of plot lines revolving around not getting exposed as talking rational animals. I have a couple of issues with it though. The first is just a silly thing- but goes back to my point about how far removed from an agrarian lifestyle we've come. The main character on the show is a cow named Otis- its a male cow, or as some might call him a bull, or if he's had some modifications, a steer. He's definitely a male- male name, male pronouns, has boys' nights out, whole show about being a long lost son of another cow etc. He also happens to have an udder. You know- large pink round thing with nipples sticking out of it- cow's udder. Only female cows have udders- males have other appendages in that area. No one seems to care. Probably most kids wouldn't recognize him as a cow if he didn't have an udder- all cows have udders, right? Wrong. But obviously not an issue for the Japanese animators. (maybe cows are different there?)
Second complaint has to do with a ferret who is best friends with a chicken. Obvious carnivore/herbivore conflict there- but he has chosen the alternative lifestyle of being a vegetarian and he and his 'best friend' live in the same barn stall together happily. Do we really need to push the PC barriers so far? I mean this is way over kids' heads, but I think most adults would get the idea of acceptance for psuedo gay stall mates and gender-bending cows.
Most people would say, "its just a cartoon show- get over it" and for the most part I am- just felt like venting, because when its on and I tell my kids to try and find something else to watch, they wouldn't understand these dilemmas I have. This is why I have a blog- to get this stuff out of my head. You can go back to your regularly scheduled programs now.

Fifteen years ago...

Fifteen years ago today, about this time, I relinguished my status as a single independent person and joined my life with one young lad named George Lipscomb. What a cool and amazing journey its been. I am glad I took a class on relationships in college, for many reasons, but especially for knowing that every relationship is evolving and requires tending always. There are good and bad times, and easy and hard times...it echoes those famous vows "for better or worse, in sickness or health." So we made those promises 15 years ago, and I am happy to say we still let them bind us to each other. We've added a couple of kids to just spice things up (!) and up our level of adventure. I don't have any great words of wisdom other than to remind everyone, and myself included, that relationships take work, prayer, communication and selflessness. Here's praying that God continues to equip George and I to keep doing those very things for each other. Rock on!

By the Waters of Babylon

Well, May hit like a fury, and then June- somehow I managed to miss the entire month as far as blogging goes. At least what I got written down. There were innumerable blogs written in my head. Like this one...

It happens every summer. First is the excitement that summer is finally here. It's a part of my DNA- the internal alarm clock that says, "it's here! It's here! Summer is finally here!" For many many years, the clanging of that alarm meant one thing for me: Summer camp. A pilgrimage to the holy mountain, where like many a traveler on his way to Jerusalem, I sang the songs of ascent and inwardly squealed (and sometimes outwardly) with excitement over finally climbing the mount and entering my temple of summer. For a few years, it meant the precious few weeks of being a camper- and then for a few more years, the work, joy, exhaustion, exhilaration and fun of being on staff. And then, several years later the amazement of watching a year's worth of planning and paperwork turn itself into a cool camp experience while I served as director.

More than anything though, the one feeling I loved at camp was the feeling that this is where I belonged. I had no yearning for home or my own bed (maybe more sleep, but my bunk was just fine). I had rough times and hard times and yucky times, but even in those times, I felt like I was doing what I was made to do. It was a perfect fit if there could be such a thing. I deeply felt and understood the difference between a job and a calling.

But, now, as summertime crests and breaks into routines of pool time and family cookouts, I feel like the Jews of Psalm 137, who having been exiled to a foreign land, are asked to sing songs from home to entertain their captors. My loose paraphrase goes (with apologies to Don McLean) "By the waters of Babylon Community Pool, we laid out and wept for thee summer camp." I look around and feel like an alien in a strange land, having been banished and sent out to live among a new tribe. I have been exiled to the land of the Suburbanite tribe, with their strange costumes of capris, leather sandals, and highlighted hair, with rituals of swim meets and play-dates. There I sit in my native dress of jean shorts and t-shirts and closed-toe shoes and I feel disconnected. My fallback position isn't shopping at the mall, it's starting a fire in my back yard and roasting marshmallows while my kids catch fireflies. I find myself inviting over friends and making them participate in 'evening programs,' and I start to teach my son how to play guitar even as he starts to pack for his own precious week away at camp.

Somewhere in my innermost self is an awareness of the fact that camp time is slipping away. Even as I look at the weather radar and immediately check camp locations for impending thunderstorms, I know the summer is racing by, and while I am making the most of it, I am still missing camp. My good friend and camp director Leslie recently said of camp, "once it gets in your blood, its always with you." So true. I can't slice a watermelon without thinking of the kid who gets the corner/end piece. I can't pass up a good deal on water balloons at the dollar store. I watch all the summer movies with a thought to how it could be spoofed in a 10 minute skit. I make up my son's loft bed making sure I get all the sheets tucked in underneath so they don't hang down for points off....

So, as I lay out by the waters of Babylon-burbia and sing camp songs in my head, I will remember thee- my Zion of Summer Camp

-and I might just make a lanyard for my key chain.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...

Ok, besides getting old Queen songs lodged in your brain, I just want to report that I am morally superior to lots of people, as I rode my bike to work today. It is national "Ride your Bike to Work Week", and today was my best bet for not getting rained on. Greenville is all about being a green city,and is especially high on biking and bike week. I've always enjoyed biking as a form of exercise, because the way I do it, I get to rest on the downhills (none of this constant peddaling stuff for me!) Now, let me see what I can do about those other 364 days of the year. Factoid: it takes me about 7 minutes to get to work by car, and took me 15 by bike. Not bad for an old lady.

Things Children Say

Before I forget these, I'm going to write them down.

Me (teaching Sunday School): Our worship service is divided into two parts, like two halves- but put together they make a whole. Does anyone know anything like that, that has two parts that you put together to make a whole?
Josh(having watched a show about splitting atoms): I know- An atom.
Me: OK- what else?
Ellery(hearing Atom and thinking Adam): Adam and Eve were the first people on the earth.
Me: Well, that's true- they were the first two people and together they made the first family. Can you all think of anything else?
Margy(not to be outdone): I know who the first people on earth were- they were the Indians. I am reading a book about them.
George(said with a 6 year old accent): No, the first people on earth were the Austro-pith-e-cus.
Me: Okay- how about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You put the two parts together to make one sandwich. That's how it is with our church service.

I should have stopped then.

On a different day, when I was teaching Children's church:
Me (reading a story about Jesus' last night- the last supper, garden of Gethsemane, arrest): And so, after they ate their dinner, Jesus and his disciples went to an olive garden, and there he prayed.
Hannah: An Olive Garden? I love eating there!
Me: what?
Another savvy adult: Not an Olive Garden restaraunt, a garden grove where they grow olive trees.
Me (trying not to laugh): OOOhh. Yes, that's right- a garden with olive trees.

Lastly, my favorite story of Burke and communion
Burke goes to communion with his friend Peter, and Peter's mom. Burke takes the bread and the wine, but Peter only takes the bread. The wine is administered with these words," The blood of Christ, the cup of salvation." Upon noticing that Peter has not taken the wine, Burke says quite loudly, "I like mine with a little salvation, you should try it." Peter's mom, the priest and chalice bearer all try hard not to completely lose it at the altar.

Do I have a label?

For a minute I was worried I might have been pegged. USA today has an article here about the newest generational label- Scuppies (socially concious upwardly-mobile people). I do consider myself socially concious- aware of how my actions and habits affect others. But, then I realized- I would rather categorize myself as downwardly mobile- ala Matthew Sleeth's Downscaled Life. I've no aspirations to make more money, increase my social standing or work to impress others. Instead I'd prefer to add quality to my life- simplify, get rid of 'stuff' and try to impart in my kids a real appreciation for the sanctity and holiness of living with less. So, if we're doing acronyms, that would make me a scd-or sciddie - hmm, sounds like a small skin mite. Maybe I'll just stick with Smitty. Close enough.

shameless plug

Here is my shameless plug for a new band. Some folks I know in Tallahassee have put together a kickin band led by a few of my old counselors from Camp Weed (yes, its a real place). Sarah McElhany leads on vocals, Claire Swindell rocks the bass, Charlie Vanture smokes on the guitar and they've added someone I don't know, but who tears up the drums- Keli Swearingen. They have titled themselves The Sarah Mac Band- or SMB for short. I hired Sarah one summer for her musical abilities as our worship and arts leader. Charlie volunteered many summers and I have several memories of him using his amazing guitar abilities to help campers shine in the talent show. Claire worked several summers and was great at guitar, and I am so very impressed with how she's picked up the bass and totally glues the band's sound together. All together it is an amazing jazz/rock/folk/acoustic combo that has gotten me amped about them making it past nice local group that plays a few bars and instead puts them as contenders! They are in fact contending for a spot at Bonaroo in Tennessee- and just had a track on the widely read music indie magazine Paste- for their April CD sampler. Their newest album is due out next week- they will have a release party on Friday and Saturday April 18th and 19th, and it will be available on iTunes starting Tuesday the 22nd. Here's the website http://www.sarahmacband.com/. Be a part of a new thing, enjoy some great music, become a fan and join me in saying, I knew them when...

Favorite song: Open Fire, closely followed by their masterful cover of Gershwin's Summertime.. Check them out!

One, Two-who, thrree...

In response to the boy's request of "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" the wise old owl answers three before crunching away at the candy. The narrator then wisely says, "the world may never know". In quite similar fashion, I have been pondering the question of how long it would take me, being bereft of challenging and nourishing Christian community, how long would it take to reach a nadir in my spiritual life? I think I'd have to say 5 years- for that is how long it has been since I've moved to Greenville. But I think I may be like the owl in coming to my answer a little too quickly. It is akin to declaring a drought, and what level of extremity it classifies as. I mean, how can we get 4 inches of rain in a day and still be in a drought? And yet, it is the persistence of the situation that makes it so. In a similar way, though there be showers and relieving rains along the way, my spiritual life has slipped into a drought, and I am left trying to find sources of life giving water. It is not as if I am some rain-forest plant who has been thrust into the sahara- my Christian life has been marked with arid landscapes. I am pretty drought and heat tolerant. But even the toughest of plants needs water to grow. When you see a huge cactus in the desert, chances are they are very old- they grow so slowly due to the lack of moisture. Similarly, my growth has slowed, I am experiencing less and less spiritual moisture in my life. Still, I believe, I hope, I dream of the kingdom of God come to its fruition. I rejoice in His creation, I trust my family and my life to his care. Is this drought moderate, extreme or exceptional? Bereft as I may be, this is likely not the true nadir. In fact the world, and I, may never know.

When work is really work

OK- so I have this idea for a new workplace. People like to work out- can't find time because their jobs get in the way, yadda yadda. We eat too much and need the exercise to keep our bodies in the idolatrous shapes we like them to be. So, how about if your job was to work out? I mean, you went in and for say, 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon, with a good break in the middle for rehydrating, you simply walked/ran on a treadmill or lifted weights or some other machine assisted exercise. Why machine assisted? Well, because what you would be doing is using your motion to generate electricity! Just like there are special batteries connected to solar panels that store the energy so it can be used later, so too would these machines be attached to special batteries- so as you ran, you would turn a crank that turned a small generator that stored energy in batteries for use other places! We could use the power for an associated business, say like my local foods grocery store, or a great bookstore/toy store/coffee bar. Or perhaps powering a recycling plant. And if we generated too much power, we'd just sell the excess back to the grid! What a win-win. I mean, the requirements for the job are very low- can you walk? How about can you lift weights? (even most folks confined to a wheelchair can do so). You would end up in great shape, you'd get paid a basic wage, and we'd have a renewable sustainable energy source to sell to people everywhere. As for pollution, I suppose we'd end up with some sweat issues- but I don't see that being a project ender. So, what do you do for a living? I work. Work out that is.

The Distance of Progress

So, I have been reading a book of essays by Wendell Berry called "The Way of Ignorance," which has been at some times challenging, some times encouraging, and a few times has even been boring. I can only read so long on the topic of agricultural sustanibility. I am in complete favor of it, but I am at a big loss as to how we replace our topsoil. I think it is because I begin to see just how completely and totally we have screwed up the world, and that makes me a bit depressed, for it takes more imagination than I have to figure out how we turn it around and peacefully co-exist with the world we have been abusing for so long. I guess I don't have enough faith in humankind's ability to deny itself pleasure for a greater good. For that is what would be required of everyone in order to truly restore the environment. Confession that we have indeed caused problems in the world is not enough- we need true repentance.

I was reminded also, of just how far removed we are from the natural world in a couple of instances this week. It seems that part of the Easley community, located in a fairly rural county to our west, was experiencing a wretched stench this week. Several people called in to complain to authorities of this rotting, putrid and acrid smell that some supposed might be a sewer leak, and still others thought could be a chemical spill somewhere. The local authorities set to the task of finding the source of the smell, and for a brief time thought they had located it in a festering dumpster behind some institution. But, that was not the source. After a day or two, they finally tracked it to a nearby farm, where a farmer, in preparation for spring growing, had begun to spread a load of chicken manure. 50 tons of it to be exact. That's a lot of chicken poop. It didn't surprise me that it would whip up quite an odor, and that that odor would drift a mile or two around. What did surprise me though, was that noone was able to identify that this would be the time of year farmers spread manure, nor were they able to identify the smell as manure- since so few of us are ever around it anymore. We could much more readily identify the smell of chlorine, or perhaps that odor they put in natural gas. But not good old black gold fertilizer that used to be used on every farm in every town. Did I mention this took place in a fairly rural community?

The second thing that has caught my attention is the Bradford Pear trees. They are all blooming like crazy and they are a welcome sign of spring with their almost lollipop shaped white popcorn clusters of blooms. The thing of it is, though, is that you know they aren't a native tree, because native trees know better than to bloom just yet. They are for sure getting ready to pop, but the Bradford pears beat the dogwoods, peaches, apples and such by a good 2 weeks or more. That makes them much more likely to succumb to a late season frost or ice event, which is not unheard of in these parts (like last year's killing frost on April 15th). As I reflected on the Bradford pears, a few things struck me. Bradfords are an ornamental, they were originally bred as sterile trees- they don't produce pears. At least, not what you would call pears. A few have found their evolutionary way around that and now produce these marble sized brown fruits each year. Their blossoms also really stink- I mean badly! Of course, that won't bother you from inside your climate controlled car or house. (I seriously wonder if car makers would have stopped making car windows that roll down if it weren't for fast food drive-thrus or toll booths.) Lastly, the way Bradfords have been bred makes them ill suited for regular wildlife. Their limbs all come from one point in the trunk, giving it an upside down umbrella sort of structure- which looks cool, but doesn't invite birds to make their nests since the v's in the branches are all at one point, and all too low to the ground for protection for nests. They were also originally crossbred with a thorny tree, and now as they've evolved, many come equipped with sharp thorns along the branches. Lastly, their structure is open to the wind, and when ice storms come around here, the tree splits right down the middle due to its construction. Oh, and while they grow rapidly and provide a nice row of trees to line a highway, they only live for about 15 years (which is short in tree-time) so they will have to be replaced quicker than other trees.

All of this makes them a poster-child of modern times- a fruit tree that doesn't provide fruit; that looks great when blooming even if it smells horrid; provides no windbreak for houses or housing for birds; and only lasts about half the distance of your mortgage. Don't we all want pretty trees that don't do the things trees are supposed to do- ones that can be chopped down and replaced when we get bored with them?

So there you have it- we have come a long way from an agricultural society where people knew the smell of manure and understood the value of a good native tree species. This distance is what makes me fearful for our ability to repent and turn away from our current course- to return to what we should know as caretakers of this garden. This is, I guess, the distance of progress.

And if I'm elected

At one point in my life, I began to put together my campaign for president. I think I calculated my age (I was 21 at the time) and when I'd be eligible, plus most likely have enough experience, and decided I'd run in 2020- you know, we'd call it the "Clear Vision" campaign. I could probably get complete funding from the eyecare industry alone. As if it weren't unlikely enough on its own, I was reminded this week, in the form of some phone calls with my siblings, of just how unlikely it would be. Billy Carter has nothing on my family.

So, since it's unlikely I'll ever actually run, I've been meaning to write for awhile a list of things I would say if I were running for president. And maybe, if everything as we know it changes in some apocolyptic way in the next 10 years, you'll hear me say these again. Of course, they aren't politically correct at all and would get me in trouble rather than elected. Mostly, they're just some of my more provocative thoughts on political and social issues:

"It used to be that people were Americans first, and then other things second. Now, whatever party you align with, or cause, or gender orientation, or lobby- that is your main descriptor- and being an American is just a consolation prize that allows you the freedom to maintain your primary identity. E Pluribus Unum means "out of many one" as in "One Nation under God, indivisible." We are now a loosely confederated amalgum of many- one nation that has become many things. We fight more with each other about who is right and who deserves the title of American, rather than seeing the person we fight with as a team mate and fellow countryman, who happens to disagree with how we do things, not who we are."

"I believe that if the US were to really claim it's identity as a "Christian Nation," and live into the call of Christ to love our neighbors and pray for our enemies- we would spend 12 billion dollars a month(or what we are currently spending on war efforts) on rebuilding countries, providing safe drinking water, cleaning up air and ocean pollution, making sure human rights were protected and providing health care and education world wide. I think that sort of investment in other countries, not expecting anything in return, is not only closer to what Jesus had in mind for Christian behavior, but also I think it would make it very hard for people to hate us so much."

"How is it that one group of people can claim to have the ear, voice and arm of God and yet be so selfish, greedy and arrogant as to defame the name of Christian worldwide? Seriously, would any reasonable Muslim, upon having their country invaded, their house blown up, their rights, livelihoods and families taken away, think of Christians as anything other than selfish assholes?"

"I propose a money back system on plastic. 5 cents a pound or something. It works really well for aluminum. "

"Do we really mean to say that 'Capitalist Empire' and 'Christian Nation' are the same thing? Then why do we act like they are? I think it's time to choose one or the other."

"If we don't consider everyone who drives a car to be a great mechanic, why do we suppose that anyone who has been to school can be a teacher?"

"I believe that when you say you are a citizen, you acknowledge you are a part of something greater than yourself. You become a part of a community. There is something to be said for the sum being more than it's parts. A united community can do more than each of us on our own. That is what the vision of America has always been. Somewhere, we began to believe it was about each of us getting our own and lots of it. How does that fit with the idea of a community?"

Well, that's certainly enough for now. Maybe I'll put up more later- if I don't get picked up by some US survellience group for my subversive thoughts. Don't forget to vote!

The Western Diet

So, several times a week, George has meetings, or plays soccer, or golf or does scouts, or coaches the boys team. It makes it a challenge to do dinners- especially with the boys hungry at about 6:00pm- and also while I'm trying to think up healthy meals with lots of fresh veggies. Add to this daily dilemma that George is doing a cholesterol fast of sorts and can't have any beef, lamb or pork. Lots of chicken dinners- and as remarkably diverse as chicken can be, it still gets old. So, tonight George is off playing golf, and I started trying to put together a dinner menu. I had a couple of chicken pieces I was going to barbecue- but then I spotted the hot dogs. I added some Pillbury Crescent rolls to make modified "pigs in a blanket". I then rummaged in the freezer and found the microwave bounty of Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese, as well as some onion rings and Ore-Ida crinkle cut french fries. I topped this oh-so-healthy meal with some Bush's original recipe baked beans, and some Del-monte 'Lite" pear halves. For our beverage, some Crystal Light Strawberry/Banana/Orange drink. I was amazed at what a perfect storm of food stuff products I had concocted. Out of curiousity I wanted to see what additives, nutrients and byproducts I had subjected my family to this night. First, I was suprised by how much real food was actually involved: that is considering the prepackaged quick preparation meal items I was dealing with. Possibly most suprising of all was finding the foods with Corn Syrup or my favorite, High Fructose Corn Syrup. So, here are the products again- you tell me which ones have the ever increasing HFCS or corn syrup....

Oscar Meyer Beef Franks

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

Ore Ida Crinkle Cut French Fries

Alexa Onion Rings

Stouffer's (frozen) Macaroni & Cheese

Bush's Original Recipe Baked Beans

Del Monte Lite Pear Halves

Hunt's Ketchup

Crystal Light Strawberry/Banana/Orange drink



While you think- here's a fun picture of what happens when everything eats too much HFCS...



Made your guesses? Ready?



The only product with High Fructose Corn Syrup was the ketchup- and only one other had corn syrup- and that was....the hot dogs! Oh yeah. I'm loving it. So much for the healthy eating trend.

The Ebb and Flow

I meant to write this in Advent, but it works for Lent too. Advent and Lent represent the two major preparation times prior to the largest and most well known Christian feasts- Christmas and Easter, respectively. As a result, they share a church color (purple) a general austerity (giving up 'Alleluia'; simple greens for altar flowers; quiet days; practices of fasting and denial) and end with a major party of celebratory proportions. So, besides Advent being a bit shorter, what is the major difference? Here's my theory on that:

Advent is about receiving. It's about getting your heart ready to receive the infant king- opening yourself to the wonder of a God who humbles himself to come and live amongst us. Perhaps you have to make room in your heart- but in the end, you receive Jesus- much as on Christmas morning, you receive presents. It is the time to breathe in God's Spirit.

Lent is about getting rid of things. Of emptying yourself and removing the clutter of life that keeps you from living the life God has for you. Sometime it's through outward disciplines of fasting- or sometimes through simply claiming those areas of shortcoming as our own. Whatever the case- we let it go and get it out of our lives. You let God's spirit clean out your life and breathe out the things that keep you from God.

So- receiving and releasing- add to, take away- breathe in, breathe out-Ebb and flow, come and go. The rhythm of abundant life.

When will the church live out the vision?

I grow increasingly weary of the church. I understand how many have lost their 'faith'- not in God, but in the human enterprise which seeks to represent him. I'm especially tired of modernistic mainline denominational thinking. And I think if I hear "well, that's they way it's done in businesses" as an excuse to behave in a totally worldly way one more time, I might retch. So what if that works for a Fortune 500 company- that's not a good reason to treat church ministers the same as you would a cubicle dwelling data entry clerk. "Best practices" simply are the most efficient ways to make profits and get businesses lean, mean and ever chugging towards their capitalistic goals. Is that the same mission as the church's? Aren't the 'best practices' for Christians ones that involve denying oneself, taking care of others and generally saying no to a constant satiation of appetite? And the corporate world is all about consumption, accumulation, looking out for oneself and encouraging more appetites so you can sell more product? So if we don't have anywhere near the same missions, why should we use the same practices? Of course, the unnamed elephant in the room, is that for many, the church is but one more capitalistic enterprise, seeking to franchise its way into being the most prominent 'brand' of Christianity around.
Perhaps even more disturbing to me than this omnipresent trend of Christian capitalism, is the very few people who would agree with me, or find any ethical dilemma in having a church work as a company, complete with the pastor as CEO and vestry as the board of directors. There is, after all, a certain size of church that gets called a "corporate parish". There is far too much interest in bottom line and balanced budgets all in the name of maintenance, and very little discourse on sacrificial living for mission. We must keep the doors open, the heat on and the preacher's salary paid so we can.....what? So we can have a great building to open up for 2 hours a week and meet together and feel good about the 3% of our budget we're giving to the poor. When, oh when, might we stop trying to emulate the 'success' of the corporation and finally start living the alternative( as in different than those of the world) lifestyles of Jesus followers?

The Top 40 @ 40

I've tried three times now to make this post. For George's 40th I made him 2 discs of all the top 40 songs from each year of his life. See, he's a big music fan, and even tracked the top 40 religiously when he was in middle school (still has the notebooks of lists to prove it). His brother Bill stole my idea and ended up with better mixes, because rather than be limited by a small thing like what the actual #1 song was for that week, or even limit yourself to songs that made the charts- he only limited himself by having the songs be from albums released in that year- opening up all sorts of cool, more listenable music, while my collection, while historically accurate, will likely end up on a shelf. Why- you may ask? Well, George's birthday is February 22nd- the week after Valentine's day- which means that all the songs that got airplay and requests for the big love fest, got that extra boost to make them #1. There are some truly sappy ones and some that seem cheesy- we did escape without an Air Supply tune- but see for yourself:
Top 40 at 40
#1 single week of February 22nd:

68-Love is Blue- Paul Mauriat
69- Everyday People- Sly and the Family Stone
70- Thank you (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again)- Sly and the Family Stone
71-One Bad Apple- The Osmonds
72-Without You- Nilsson
73-Crocodile Rock- Elton John
74-The Way We Were- Barbra Streisand
75-Pick up the Pieces- AWB
76-50 Ways to Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon
77-Blinded by the Light- Manfred Mann's Light Band
78-Stayin Alive- The BeeGees
79-Do Ya Think I'm Sexy- Rod Stewart
80-Crazy Little Thing Called Love-Queen
81-9 to 5- Dolly Parton
82-Centerfold- J. Geils Band
83- Baby Come to Me- Patti Austin & James Ingram
84-Karma Chameleon- The Culture Club
85-Careless Whisper- Wham
86-How Will I Know- Whitney Houston
87-Livin' on a Prayer-Bon Jovi
88-Season's Change-Expose
89-Straight Up- Paula Abdul
90-Opposites Attract-Paula Abdul
91-Everbody Dance Now- C&C Music Factory
92-I'm Too Sexy-Right Said Fred
93-I Will Always Love You- Whitney Houston
94-The Power of Love- Celine Dion
95-Creep- TLC
96-One of Us- Joan Osborne
97-Don't Speak- No Doubt
98-My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion
99-Believe- Cher
00-Learn to Fly- Foo Fighters
01-Don't Tell Me-Madonna
02-Can't Get You Out of My Head- Kylie Minogue
03-Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
04-The Way you Move- Outkast
05-Since you Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
06-Stickwitu- Pussycat Dolls
07-Say it Right-Nelly Furtado

I mean- what are the chances of 2 Paula Abdul songs back to back years! Or two Celine Dions- a Whitney Houston? Cher? Wham? Oh well. I made the more accurate and purest mix I knew how to make- hopefully that counts for something? Happy Birthday George!

Metascribing

So I've been thinking alot lately about writing. Not just little things, but seriously writing. I have some aspirations to write on more than just a bloggers level. I think part of this has been because I have been reading more lately- which is something I haven't had as much time to do until the past year or so. As a result, I get ideas and themes and make connections and then I want to write them down- to share my observations. We've recently experienced what happens when I think too much about science and the universe. (see previous blog posts) But, since I've been thinking about writing lately, I thought that I would choose to write about writing- so I guess I am metascribing- (if thinking about thinking is metacognating, then writing about writing is....)? There are a couple of things I know about me and writing- especially what I see as my weaknesses. I have to keep a sense of humor and lightheartedness- or I will get into my dark and cynical side- we don't need more of that type of thinking these days. I also find that if I am writing about something meaningful from my life, it gets pretty sappy and sentimental- I'm not a big fan of my own writing when I get that way. Lastly, I haven't ever really tried- but dialogue seems to escape me. I either write WAY to many words or what I write sounds unnatural. So, that rules out a few types of writing- including the great American novel.

What it leaves me are the forms I am comfortable with anyway- which is more of the essay- the humorous or perhaps even expository- a reflection on a topic or theme, maybe an observation on the odd way I look at life. I could also possibly do some journalism-type feature writing- but that would require time for research, and some taming of my word choice. I am not very stingy with words, if you hadn't figured that out by the length of these blog entries. With some revision and discipline, though, I might be able to tighten up my writing. If I am serious about writing I need to keep reading alot, and also I need to write more frequently. Lastly, I think if I want to do more than write as a hobby, I should take a few classes to renew some writing talents that have gone fallow. There is something about sitting under another's direction and critique that helps sharpen my writing. It makes me more vigilant about my use of passive voice or overuse of adverbs and fragmented sentences. It helps. Maybe we can all expect better blog entries in the future or, maybe, just more of them.

While I'm in the crazy universe

While I'm on this big thought, crazy universe theme- I'll share my latest idea for a sci-fi movie. First, a little geology lesson. So, it seems that the magnetic poles- north and south- change their polarity every few hundred thousand years or so. Geologists know this from studying the magnetic characteristics found in rock that has come out of the mid-atlantic sea floor as molten lava, only to harden into rock. As it hardens, the magnetic particles within it, take advantage of the fluidity and they align themselves with the positive magnetic pole. When you look at which way these particles face, you find a pattern of a width of rock lined up with the north pole, and then a width lined up with the south pole- indicating that in the past, the poles have shifted their polarity. The exact timing is hard to determine, as is why they switched (was there a bombardment of solar particles from the sun, or an asteroid coming too close?), but its pretty certain that they have indeed switched. There is much speculation as to what would happen if they switched tomorrow, as it hasn't happened in known human history. Certainly there would be some disruptions as GPS sattelites and compass system everywhere relocated their focus from North to South pole. But what else might happen?

Enter my sci-fi thriller....

So, to build the drama, you have some serious sun spot/aurora borealis/ magnetic fluctuation activity going on- and NASA and scientists world wide trying to figure out why and what it means. There's speculation of course, and you take on this one slightly crazy and discounted scientist type as your protagonist (male or female- wouldn't matter). They think it has something to do with the poles- and they would be right! Now, here's where we can take two different paths- the first having our protagonist using Biblical prophecy, egyptian, celtic and mayan calendars to figure out what's going to happen, and ending up in an deep underground bunker in the middle of Colorado- anticipating what is about to happen- which is the world actually shifts magnetic poles AND starts to revolve the other way. The result being that the entirety of atmosphere, topsoil, trees, buildings, cars, lakes, oceans, rivers etc. all get pulled off the earth- because as the globe grinds to a halt and begins to spin the other way- we loose all gravity for a few minutes- long enough for most volcanos to erupt, several earthquakes to happen, and all the aformentioned matter to get flung off into space. Our protagonist and friends have to then negotiate their way back up to the earth's surface (after the planet starts spinning the other way- sun rising in the West- whole nine yards) and then decide to repopulate- go live on the moon (which captured a bit of atmosphere when it spun off the earth in addition to altering its orbit a little further out) or maybe they simply all perish- I don't have a good ending there.

The second possible storyline involves the aforementioned science type using the same sources to figure out what is going to happen- and then its the save the world idea- how do you keep the north pole positive and what sort of satellite contraption can you use to affect the magnetic force...but in the end- life goes on as we know it.

So- there it is. I think that completes my crazy macro thinking for a little while. Maybe I'll just start blogging about how my son scored 14 of his teams 28 points in their semifinal basketball game! Look out Serge Zwicker and Cherokee Parks- there's another big goofy white boy in the paint who's on his way!

Nothing is in the center of a doughnut

Okay the title may be misleading- I'm having these 'big thoughts' again- my inner geek is hard at work these days. A couple of things have fed my thought processes- one was a video by Rob Bell- Everything is Spiritual. Great stuff- questioning the creation and the randomness of the universe. Next would be a combination of random information gleaned from sources like Science Friday and Stardate (this 2 minute radio piece on interesting space stuff). Lastly, a quote from They Might Be Giants: "There is only one everything". Funny that. Everything is a singular noun. As is Universe. (Uni means one of course). Something very, very, big, that contains all, is summed up by a singular word. "Everything is coming together." Hmm. But 'none' requires a plural verb- as in "there are none who understand" instead of "there is none." Except in the south- we is a bit more lenient on proper verb-noun agreement.

So, anyway, I've been thinking about the immense-ness of the universe. How, no matter how small you get, there's something smaller- As the sun is to the earth, the earth is to a pebble, a pebble is to an atom and an atom is to a quark. (Yes, I'm talking subatomic particles). And similarly, as big as you get- there are billions of stars, (each with a solar system?) enclosed in billions of galaxies, grouped in clusters, across bazillion light years. Oh, and speaking of light- the constant speed that we use for measuring distance across this universe- they can now stop light. It has been done- they stopped a beam of light (something like a mile long wave that was turned into about 4 microns of length) in a super cooled cloud of atoms, then picked up the light and moved it a short distance and then started it on its way again. How cool is that? But it begs the question- if scientists on earth can create a cloud of atoms supercooled enough to stop light in an experiment on our temperate planet, then why would we think that light, as it travels through the immense dark spaces of the universe surrounded by void and dark matter (read very cold)- why would we expect light to continue at the same rate as it does in our warm world? And so, is everything in the universe as far away as we think it is, or if you want to go the extra dimension- is everything as old as we think it is?

Now if you are still reading and haven't reached for the aspirin or flipped over to the american idol page yet, then I know I've got you thinking. (Susan will most likely tag this as another reason I shouldn't be allowed to blog). So, here's the thing- the more I learn about the amazing complexity and diveristy and intricate nature of the universe- the deeper my belief in God gets. I can't fathom believing that human life on this little rock is just a random accident. My trouble comes when I think about those who consider these same issues and come to the opposite conclusion. For them, it is too complex, too random, too crazy to be part of any design or created by any entity. Especially not an entity that would let itself be known as the god of a war mongering tribe of nomads. (Gene Rodenberry, creator of Star Trek fell in this category, as do several other prominent voices of Science).

Here's my take on this- as good a Smitty theory as you are going to get after all that big thinking. So, it is hard work to open up your brain and take in the vastness of space- the denseness of a single cell- the power of subatomic particles (what is an atom bomb after all?). It takes alot of work to get your brain around all of that, and if anyone has the capacity to expand that body of knowledge, to make it understandable to the common person, to possibly even find a new part of the cosmic puzzle- well then they are probably justified in thinking highly of their intellect. But having done the mental work it takes to get to the point of discovering quarks (which were unconceivable when they discoved atoms)- how much more so does it take to say- "there is more." There is more to it- it can get smaller- the universe can get bigger- something could be in a dimension outside of time. It takes more mental energy to do that- to say that after all the work you have done and all you have discovered that you aren't the final word. There is something more there. It is human nature in all its proud glory that takes the arrogant position to say: if I can't conceive it- it can't exist. I for one, disagree- I am okay with God being bigger than my capacity to understand it. Doesn't mean I don't applaud those who are trying to find what lies within- what lies at the outermost reaches of the galaxy (if the universe is always expanding- what is it expanding into?) But I for one, while I can delight in their discoveries, I can rest in the knowledge that God is the biggest, the smallest and everywhere in between. There's also only one everywhere. Funny that.

Now- where did that doughnut get to? I'm hungry.

More than an Alanis Morisette title...

How's this for ironic? So I take Allegra 180 each day to keep my allergies at bay. I don't have horrible allergies, but enough of a reaction to certain things that if left to its own devices, and fed by the viruses my young kids bring home from school, will develop into a sinus infection, bronchitis and other delightful respiratory ailments. Between the Allegra and use of a Neti Pot( ancient Yoga nasal saline irrigation- I know, TMI) I have managed to avoid having anything serious enough to send me to the doctor in the past 9 months or so. My Allegra prescription ran out last month. I called the dr. this morning to get a new prescription and guess what? I can't get a new script because I haven't seen the doctor in over 6 months. Here's the irony: I haven't had to see the doctor because the medicine works and does what it should. I can't get more without seeing the doctor- for a regular appointment when I don't need one.

When George called in with this weird dizzy spells he was having last month, he couldn't get an appointment. Yet, the receptionist was ready to schedule me anytime for an appointment to say hello to my doctor. I mean, I'm sure the doctor has plenty of truly sick people to see- does he really need to take the 10 minutes out of his schedule (which will translate to a minimum of 30 minutes for me) to make sure I'm healthy? I get that there are drugs which need to be monitored- things that affect your liver, or possible addictive drugs, or ones that interact with other drugs or affect your blood pressure. I get it- its just that Allegra is not one of those. In fact, I suspect it will be over the counter in the next few months. Which is why I will just wait and muddle through and pray I don't get sick during springtime bloom out, just to avoid an unneccesary $150 doctor's appointment so I can get my $7 preventative prescription. An ounce of prevention is evidentally not as profitable for the doctor- he wants you to pay him for the pound of cure. Yippee.

From the paranoid conspiracy department

Every once in a while I exercise that part of my imagination that gets really excited by X-files. You know- alternate realties, sci-fi, star trekking type thoughts that massage the inner geek. Anyway, they often are accompanied by conspiratorial paranoias. Like this one, for example- what if, in a last desparate bid to fulfill the zero year curse of being shot or dying in office, George Bush gets taken out while touring the Middle East (I mean, he's had 7 years to reach out and do something, and he chooses NOW to go broker peace, what is that about?) And the resulting chaos means embassy after embassy is overrun and its a pretty big mess ( I mean the Iranian tour boat companies have already declared themselves ready for a fight). So, our buddy and now president Dick Cheney locks and loads, declares a state of emergency and keeps himself in power past the elections (or ala Pakistan, he simply suspends elections and nominates himself Lord Cheney). I'm reminded of the complicated but well written scene in Star Wars 2 or 3...Lord Palpatine takes over in the Senate and gains absolute powers to mount a war, and amidst the applause and cheers Queen Amidala is savvy enough to say "So this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause?" I mean, I seriously doubt there would be a huge upswelling of resistance outside of California, as long as everyone got to keep their Wiis and still had chicken mcnuggets to eat.... Oh wait, that's the hopelessly cynical part of my brain coming out to play...it's really good friends with the aforementioned inner geek parts. Well, here's saying I told you so on the 1% chance that Nostradamus and I are proven right....and otherwise, well it would make a good plot line for Doonesbury.