post is the appropriate word

Post- as in post-election, post-Christian, post-modern, post-apocalyptic- you get the idea. This is another rant that I hope is so buried on the internet that no-one sees it, or that those who do get bored before they can finish it. Not facebook friendly, and that's after I cleaned out (or at least unfollowed) a lot of my more conservative voices. To be clear though, I kept them on all through the election- no matter how unsavory their posts were, or unhinged or even just cruel. I thought it was important to have a array of opinions on my feed- not to insulate myself. But after Tuesday, I can't listen anymore.

I mean, here is the Republican party- calling itself the new populists, the party of values and the party of the people. So they nominate an millionaire elite, a draft dodger and a man whose values surely stop at the bottom line of everything- if it is not monetize-able it is not worthwhile. He openly identifies as only the nominee of certain people- white scared people. And lazy people- ones who think Jesus needs the Supreme Court to get the work done in the USA cause they are enjoying their tax-exempt status too much to get out of their segregated churches and do ANYTHING! Outreach to the poor, homeless, gay, muslim- any chance to bring the good news to the very groups Jesus commanded us to bring it to- this work is too hard! Just raise money and pay for it- get someone else's group to do it- I am too busy preparing a sermon for stewardship week to go actually take care of the poor, orphaned and widowed. Don't we have a committee that takes food to shut ins (but only the ones who used to give to the church or maybe still do)? We have no faith that the God of the Universe is calling us to WORK in this world, not just lay around in our middle class existence and enjoy the #BLESSED life. We aren't all rich and well off because we are being rewarded for our faith and good works (Don't you know your reward is in heaven?). We are blessed with those things so we can go out and bless others- Abraham (and by extension his descendants) was called to be a BLESSING to the nations- not the bringer of war, protector of one country and persecutor of innocent souls. No, the persecutor role was given to Satan- who seems to have gotten very good at outsourcing.

So yeah the GOP was falling apart on November 5. all poised to have some good meaningful discussions about who they were, how they needed to shake up the old guard, acknowledge their failings with minorities, to join most of the rest of the world in being the opposite of the radical Islamic jihadists, not just the exact same approach with a different guy's face on the front. (I mean let's see where they align- hate homosexuality- check, persecute those who don't follow your faith- check, use government to enforce your worldview on every citizen-check, want women to have lots of babies, give them good sex and keep their mouths shut- check, bomb civilians and militants alike to make a point-check; Jesus has no time for those who would wage war in his name- if you want to go blow up the middle east in the name of freedom, have at, but don't for a minute think it should be in the name of God).

They were just about there- losing the election would be the catalyst to their party doing an update, a reboot, a cleaning of house to get rid of the rotten eggs (like the altright white supremacists and wacka doodle conspiracy nazis). Trump represented what many of them disliked about their party- he was a chemotherapy dose for a cancer ridden patient. But NOOOO- he won! So now, its all legit. Not only did he win, but they have congress back too. The people have spoken (though they lost the popular vote)- racism and misogyny wins! There were looking for a new direction and boom, there it is! If Trump can win with all this negative immoral completely batshit crazy stuff then it must be the way to go! The AltRight didn't just get legitimized, it just won the GD white house! It is not just acceptable, it is now the path to the future! I can only hope that as this cancer is metastasizing, it will kill the patient- but how much suffering happens first? And will it only kill the GOP or will it spread to infect the whole country? Time will tell on that- but on election day- greed won. Lazy Christians won (I'm looking at you Franklin and Falwell). Pride and cruelty won. And ignorance- it won bigly.

Speaking of ignorance, let me ask this- how in the hell do people think Trump is going to "stick it to the establishment" or "Blow up the system" when it is the very establishment and system he has benefited from his entire life? He is going to drain the swamp of corruption in DC by appointing all his political cronies to cabinet positions just to pay them back for their support? That's not corrupt at all. He's going to rework the tax code so he and his ilk are taxed more? You know, weed isn't legal everywhere yet, and if you believe he'll raise his own taxes you must be smoking something! Do you think getting rid of Obamacare and health care insurance mandates will benefit the poor white diabetes patients of Kentucky? Nope. Maybe letting Paul Ryan have at it with the budget will mean an increase in your Social Security monthly check? Think again. And as to deporting illegals- no worries there, they've probably already left, so I guess you'll just have to settle for beating the shit out of any brown person who dares cross you (or black or asian or queer or whatever- I know how equal opportunity hate can be). He is going to build a wall across one of the largest land borders in the world to keep drugs out- too bad drone technology is so bad? And my SC friend who will send her 18 year old off to join the Marines to have a career and a head start in life, will she feel pride that he was killed because we sent troops in to defend the pride of a thin skinned president who is provoked by tweets? I will be praying for them. These ideas he has, they aren't necessarily bad promises, but they were made by a bad man. A man who has a horrible record of keeping his promises. He can't even pay his damn plumber what he promises him. (Hey Joe the Plumber- where you at bro?) He can't honor his contracts or pay his investors/banks (bankruptcy means you can't pay them) he can't keep promises he has made at the marriage altar- third times the charm, yo! He can't keep promises to his wife(+2) and children and you think he's going to keep a promise to a no-name coal miner from West Virginia?

And the whole "I am moving to Canada" thing- that's laziness too- easier to run away than stay and fight. And let me be clear- lying, manipulating and amassing shitloads of money to try and gain office as the Democrats have done is also sinful and worthy of scorn. And while God does not rank sin (all have sinned and fallen short- except evidently DJT who says he has no need to ask forgiveness) while God does not rank sin, I do- or at least I rank their outcomes. God promises those who confess and repent will be forgiven of their sins. However, there is not a promise that you will not have to deal with the consequences of that sin. Natural consequences happen from sins, and those have a tangible hierarchy to them. So in my view, lying about your emails does not hurt near the number of people or cause near the amount of suffering as cheating on your wife and committing sexual assault. Or to be fair, lying about something you said on tape (eg: support for the Iraq war) does not have the same consequences as lying about a nation having Weapons of Mass Destruction to justify killing American and Iraqi people. I am thankful God sees all sins the same and forgives them all the same as well. But in this life, I have to make judgement calls on something, and I am not allowed to equivocate a heaping pile of disgusting words and actions by Trump with an avarice for power by Clinton. The early church ranked the cardinal sins, and Pride was far worse than Gluttony or Greed. I can acknowledge that Clinton may be bad, but if I'm ranking them, Trump is worse by a wide margin.

I am at least heartened to know that a majority of Americans did NOT vote for Trump. If you combine all the votes for Clinton plus third party then it isn't even close. I know that doesn't matter with the way our system is set up. If we all did electoral votes as Maine does, Clinton would have won. (I haven't done the full math there- most likely Clinton wouldn't have reached 270 either but you get my point). But he did, and so he becomes our face to the world, the GOP loses any incentive to change its ways and in fact will likely become bigger racist assholes than ever. Demographics tell us that whites will actually be less than 50% of the American population in 2043. 27 years seems like a long time to wait, but those demographics are likely to provide change faster than that if the electoral college stays put. Republicans cannot expect to continue to win much longer with this route. And as for white evangelicals- why wouldn't you want immigrants and refugees lining up at your door so that you could show them what a truly Christian nation looks like and how Christ's love includes them? I just think you are scared, greedy and lazy. You have no interest in spreading the gospel to every tribe, tongue, language and race- you just want to live in your little red, white and blue bubble of middle class privilege and watch some trash TV (also known as nightly news since you just elected a reality game show host to be president).

I can't wait to see some headlines from the next few years-  "Trump admires Angela Merkel's 'giant hooters'" Judge finds President in contempt of court for not showing up in Fraud case" "President Trump tells Hollande and Trudeau to 'Get a Room, you Frenchies'" "Chinese battleships take over Kodiak Island" or "President accused of groping intern" (wait, that seems like a repeat). I do predict that when my WVA coal miner with diabetes can't get insulin for less than $150 a bottle due to unfettered insurance companies, and when my rust belt friends realize their jobs didn't go to the Chinese but instead to robots, and when Sec. of the Interior Palin makes it so no one but Todd can hunt on Federal lands because they might disturb oil well drilling, and when Sec. Guiliani decides churches need to pay their fair share in taxes because we can't expect the corporations to do it- Well, then they might just realize what stupid asses they were for thinking the king of con men was something more than a huckster and a steak salesman. You have been used my brethren- but hopefully you will wake up and turn the entertaining TV infomercial off.  May God have mercy on all of us til then. (and after but you know it sounded better if I ended it there)

mid winter rants

Hopefully this will just be a regular, "no one sees it" rant. One where I use so many words and follow so many tangents that people who might stumble across it are far more likely to get bored before they get agitated. I need to vent- and I know better than to try and do this on Facebook- FB is such a great illustration of the blind men and the elephant- everyone is an expert, and yet they see things completely differently. And, at the end, none of us has seen the full picture. I also think people overestimate the friendliness of the crowd they are addressing- as if simply being friends with someone on FB means you think like they do- ah, not so much. Anyway, if I had fallen to the temptation to post on facebook- I'm pretty sure my posts would have gone something like this: "Why are we the only parents in the whole of our world that think it is not appropriate for our 14 year old to own M rated video games that glorify gun violence?" and "why can't we act like grown ups and think about limiting semi automatic guns that shoot 30 rounds in 10 seconds- of yeah that's right, because you start screaming 'they're taking away all the guns everywhere!" and "What makes you think that a teacher with a gun in her desk is going to be any better able to stop a maniac who is firing off multiple rounds of ammo from a semi-automatic as he walks in her door?" and "how would my owing a semi-auto handgun help keep my kid from getting shot at school, or in a movie theatre or in the mall?" Obviously- lots to do with guns and the Newtown shootings, and all the crap that comes with it. Then there's the host of statuses where I question God, wonder what the hell I'm going to do now that I'm all grown up, where I shred this concept of a 'Christian nation', where I decry the fact that no matter how well you follow God and keep him at the center of your life, no matter how much, there are no guarantees- evil is pretty unbiased in its ability to affect everyone. Whether its the bishop who's son commits suicide, or the godly family who's child has a brain tumor, or the devoted young couple who lose their house to fire, or the faithful grandmother killed by a drunk driver- evil is pervasive and there are no guarantees. Losing one child doesn't mean you won't lose another- losing a brother doesn't make your family safe from tragedy- working faithfully through years of low paying clergy jobs doesn't mean your insurance won't drop your wife with MS after you lose your job. There just aren't any guarantees. And don't get me wrong- the evil hasn't won- it may claim a battle, but it will never remain victorious for the war. I still believe God is in charge and Jesus has defeated death, and nothing will separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus- nothing. Sometimes I need to type it out to remind myself though- because while I know these things in my head, I don't always feel them in my heart. And the 'whys' overwhelm the 'wise' in me. And when I'm just trying to keep the dog walked, the family fed, the dust busted and the job done- I don't have a lot of time to seek a happy place and meditate on God's goodness. Instead I slam a door and mutter under my breath as I negotiate traffic on my way to carline. Oh and I know, I choose my attitude- I have control of my emotions- I know healthy ways to deal with stress and heartache- but every once in awhile it gets to be too much. So, here I am typing- letting out the rant that builds up and threatens to 'splode! Maybe getting some enlightenment.
But here now, a real rant- the whole Christian nation thing- always a source of bother for me. Why would God be any more American than he was say, a yankees fan? I really believe American Christians are lazy and want there to be prayer in schools so they won't have to teach their own kids how to pray every morning at their own homes- they want the government to stay out of their businesses and pocketbooks- but by golly, please tell us what is acceptable bedroom behavior and let us spout all kinds of nonsense about how God lets people get shot because the community didn't stone the gays. How can the same network (FOX) spend so many hours a day talking about the horrible moral condition of America and then also have some of the crappiest, dirtiest, nastiest most violent shows on TV? They pass off animated shows as good clean fun, while animated babies call their fathers assholes and animated park rangers sleep with bears- its all just for fun, isn't it? The most moral shows on TV in the past few decades? Touched by an Angel- CBS, Sesame Street-PBS, Highway to Heaven-NBC, Seventh Heaven- WB, Early Edition- CBS, Dora the Explorer- Nick; Extreme Home Makeover- ABC; What do we watch Fox for? The Simpsons, Family Guy, Glee, that 70's show and of course, American Idol- where a good voice will get you so far, but a good body will get you farther.Many distinguish between Fox networks and Fox news, but I don't- the money all goes to the same spot. And that's just the point I've been heading to- the money.
Oh, when did we see you naked and not clothe you Jesus, and when did we see you hungry and not feed you? Or when did we see you unable to pay your housepayment because of medical bills since you weren't covered by insurance since your state broke up all unions and the carpenters local lost ability to get comprehensive plans for workers? Surely you don't want us to vote for Democrats, who won't go to the right churches that banish abortions? And how about how mad everyone gets at the Westboro church when they show up at a soldier's funeral talking about how godless the nation is, but it's okay for Mike Huckabee to cheapen the memory of 20 1st graders by doing the same thing on tv? We can't raise taxes on 'job creators' because it will kill the economy- and sure, billions of dollars spent on some sort (or two) of quasi holy war in the middle east didn't hurt the economy at all! Money, money and more money- churches build mega buildings with state of the art technology while people live in shacks heated by firewood all winter just down the street. Show me the money- and I'll show you a religious electorate that can be bought and sold in minutes. Played like a cheap fiddle- using emotion and fear as capital to buy an election and further the bottom line!Oh and heaven forbid that a government paid for and representing all faiths, would take the ten commandments or other religious symbols down from public spaces. I mean, don't they know of the overwhelming huge number of people who give their lives to Jesus because they saw a creche in front of the fire station? Or all the godless serial killers who saw the ten commandments in front of the court house and changed their minds? I have met so many people that come to faith that way- NOT! Should a church be allowed to have a big ol creche on its property- absolutely! Should the private land owner be allowed to put up a big honking crucifix and posters of his favorite verses at the busiest intersection in town that just happens to belong to him? Have at! Should a city hall be allowed to put up a big star and crescent on its front lawn as long as no one complains? Sure- but once they express outrage (and don't you know they would!) it should come down- or maybe it should be joined with a wiccan tree sculpture, a giant mennorah and maybe a small cross or something. Yea, that would go over well in the south.
You know, I am shaking my head as I realize that I have often tested with the spiritual gift of Prophecy- thinking it meant I was good at speaking forth the truth to those in the church- thinking that was cool- not realizing it put me in company with cranks like Amos and Hosea and John the baptist and St Francis and other such loons. Oh boy. That's an appealing career calling- although I can't say I haven't considered taking up preaching in front of city hall! It has actually crossed my mind before!
The hard work that American Christians don't want to seem to do is realize, a) the rest of the US has actually moved on from Christianity. They like the Christmas season (its great for the economy after all) and Santa is cool- good chocolate in the springtime is fun too (Easter should be the holiday Christians fight for, but it doesn't even warrant a day off of school anymore in all places!) most Americans will say they are Christians, but they aren't really- it's easier to just say you are than listen to someone drone on about it. b) since the rest of the country is post-christian, old models won't work. The way things were in 1958 (complete with church sanctioned racism and misogynistic practices) is not how they are now, so the same model of Sunday School ain't gonna cut it. c) If you want to see culture change then you have to have people change- heart change- that is hard work that happens through loving and lasting relational ministry. Even the majority of church goers are not truly interested in sacrificially following Jesus- there are beach houses to visit, and football games to tailgate, and large TVs to be bought. This giving of our excess of possessions has bled over into giving only the excess of our hearts too- if we have a little extra time and inclination, we'll think about Jesus- and we'll go to church every once and awhile- that should do it. d) I don't think God wants a nation state anymore- he didn't want it when Saul became king, he didn't want it when Satan offered it to Jesus, and I don't think he wants it now. Stop wasting energy on that. (funny that I mention Satan- I think he's been very effective making us waste a lot of energy on politics of the US rather than doing the work of the church!- and he used the oldest trick- the temptation of putting good Christians in power so they can do more good- power is quite seductive- even when you mean to do good with it- and yet we forget so quickly that the greatest will be least and the least will be great. I am reminded of Frodo's interchange with the Lady of the Wood and how she would be queen with the ring in her possession- but how the truly best thing was to spurn that power and instead let that pass by.
Here's my other big rant- to me, violence in America is like Diabetes. Diabetes is a deadly disease that kills lots of people. Left untreated, it kills quickly and is pretty painful. Treated, it can be regulated and in some people, often reversed or mitigated to such a point that it is like they don't have it- although you will never be able to fully eradicate it. There are real, solid things you can do for people with Diabetes to give them long productive lives- changes in diet, exercise and medicines can be combined to make it a very liveable disease. And if you or a loved one had diabetes, wouldn't you do everything you could to make it better and more liveable? Guns and violence are the same in my eyes- we'll never get rid of violence- and it looks like we'll not get rid of guns anytime soon either. But, there are real, solid things we can do to lessen it. Getting rid of high capacity magazines and semi-automatic and automatic weapons is like stopping sugar intake and taking up jogging. Making a national database for gun permit checks and cross checking with  mental health records is like getting some insulin and other drugs going in the system. Why are we letting a few very sick, fearful anxiety ridden people push every fear button in our souls to keep us from making this situation better? The only solution is to arm teachers and have more guns? That's like saying a diabetic should just eat more carbs to balance out the sugars...(which is crazy if you understand digestion). Our kids shouldn't be playing this graphic first person shooter games for 8 hours straight any more than they should be having Pepsi three times a day. Why is this such a big freaking deal? Keep your rifles and hunting guns, your handguns and pistols in your purse- but just get rid of the damn military killing rifles! Even if you own a semi AK-47, unless you walk around with it, you will never be able to beat the guy who bursts into your classroom or theatre or mall already shooting one! I get where having a pistol might mitigate a mugging, or someone else shooting a limited 10 round gun who has had to stop to reload- you have a chance then- but unless these high capacity weapons are unavilable (and don't give me that fucking crap about how criminals will always find ways to have them- we can get rid of all smallpox in a decade, but you don't think we could get rid of all semi-automatics? Drug cartels will always find ways of getting these- but I don't think they're behind any of the mass shootings of the last decade) we will just have another Columbine (where there was an armed school resource officer by the way) another Sandy Hook, and another Virginia Tech (where there is a military training program and multiple armed security officers all over campus). There are real things that can and should be done and when the congress finally grows the balls to do them, I don't want to hear the paranoid delusions of a state takeover that is really just a front for keeping the money flowing to elections via the most powerful PAC (the NRA) known to modern America. It's like the National Council on Sugar making the suggestions for Diabetes treatment! Wake up and take your insulin.
Well, seeing as how very few if any will see this, I'll rest easy that it did what I needed to do- vent. I certainly covered a multitude of topics. If you're offended- why are you trolling the blogosphere for something to be mad about? No one made you read it, and go comment on some fox news blog if you want to be acknowledged. This way makes me feel like at least my voice is out there and I've said what I felt and hopefully it is for the better. At the very least I will stop berating my husband with my opinions.

What is going swimmingly in your life right now?

Well. That is an interesting question. It infers that somewhere something is going well in your life. Of course, being that you usually swim in deeper quieter pools of water, or a chemically balanced institutional pool, that would fit my life right now. For I have felt like I've been in a quiet unchanging sort of place for awhile now. I keep waiting for things to get a little more interesting- for my innertube to come floating by and take me onto more free flowing purposeful waters. But, that hasn't happened. While I can't blame my family, I do know that the option of getting up and leaving the pool for more exciting water is not really an option right now, so I continue to wait here.
And yes, many things could be said to be going swimmingly. I have great, talented kids, a wonderfully loving and supportive partner, a solid part time job that pays well why keeping me in the black, and plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me going. I just very much didn't want to be a person who lived until they had kids, and then just lived through the kids lives. I often ask my husband, what do we look forward to now? You look forward to graduating, going to college, getting out of college, getting a job, marrying someone, buying a house, having kids and then....watching your kids get married? paying of the mortgage? Retiring? There's a whole lot of living that takes place between the former things in that list and the latter. I really don't think its a mid-life crisis as much as a mid-life loss of purpose. Women it seems are particularly bad about letting their kids and families' goals become their own.
So yes, back to the question. Merrily we roll along, except I keep feeling like I'm stuck in the lazy river, but all in all, it is an enjoyable time, and someday I am sure I will wonder what on earth I was so worked up about?

do you consider yourself a strong swimmer?

Yes. But not competitive or long distance or "rescue everyone from a shipwreck" style. I have a natural ability to float- so that would help. I once swam a mile for my lifesaving course- I never got to finish the course since I opted for rest time over training. I am definitely out of shape, so I'm sure I could easily overestimate my abilities or stamina. But, still, I think I'm a moderate to strong swimmer.

What kind of fish are you most like?

I'm going to go with trout. I enjoy a nice mountain stream, I hang out in the quiet pool when possible, I like the rhododendron covered hillsides and when it gets cold, I only keep moving to stay alive. I hang around with others like me, but I can be on my own as well- and given the opportunity, I will eat and be lazy until I am large and luscious. I also am fresh water versus salt water and occasionally I swim against the stream- so there it is: a mountain brook trout.

Are you scared of being in open water?

I get weekends off with this challenge, I think, and with the holiday being on a Monday, I took Sunday and Monday as my weekend. Back at it today.

I am not neccesarily scared of being in open water. I spent a great amount of time as a kid on Lake Wylie in my dad's boat, anchoring in coves, swimming, eating Penrose hot sausages, watching my Dad pee off the end of the boat, etc. We did a little skiing, but not alot- mostly wandering around until weather or sunset pushed us back home. Even though it's a large lake, you could always see the shore for the most part, so I'm not sure it qualifies as "open water". I have also spent time at the beach, and been on one whole cruise in my lifetime. Being out in the Atlantic looking in every direction unable to see any land- that was truly open water. It was also December, and even though we were near Bahamas et al, it wasn't a time to spend a lot of time contemplating the open ocean. I did go up front one time to see if there were any dolphin, or whales near by, or flying fish as were rumored. Saw none of those, but did get an appreciation for the vastness of the ocean. Not just the breadth of it- water as far as you see in every direction- but also for the depth of it- realizing that you are in waters 300, 500, 3000, or 5000 feet deep. Not having a depth finder handy, I'm just guessing on those depths- but I do know it was way over my head. So, you become quite aware of how sturdy a boat you're on. I thought of how flat it seemed from our height and given the fact it was clear and calm. I could only imagine rolling over the billows as a hurricane swirled to our south, or a storm came sweeping through. The images from "The Poseidon Adventure," "The Perfect Storm," or "Titanic" provide ample imagery for me- I have no desire to experience that for myself- heck, the storm that shipwrecked Gilligan et al seemed pretty wicked to me.
So, in short, as far as I know I am not overly scared of open water, but I might change my mind if the tide changes.

day 2

Well- there's no prompt for today on a Saturday. The farmers market this morning was busy- lots of vendors, lots of food- lots of visitors. The historical society came and brought lots of agricultural tools and old timey things. I had some good conversations with Country Hawkins and Mann Batson- both local history experts. Lots of good confirmation about information I already had. I did learn that until the 1850's there were mandatory militias, which would have led to Henry Lynch being called Major or Colonel. I still can't find a connection with Charleston. But, we'll keep working on that. If you have no idea what I am talking about, it's all in the historical fiction book I might write some day. Until then- I'm off to do some research!

Blogging every day challenge again

So this month's topic is swimming, and the prompt is about where would I like to swim. Firstly, I am happy that I can swim, and consider myself a decent swimmer. I am not fast at all, but I am a champion floater- light bones and a high fat content help me there. But, this week I've had Paris Mountain on the mind, so I'm going to say I'd like to swim there- and yes, at the State Park there is a stream fed lake that allows swimming, and for many years, it was the only swimming pool around.
My understanding of the past leads me to picture this swimming hole as one of about a dozen in the northern part of the county. There were a few springs that had been developed as commercial swimming areas- Chick Springs and Dreamland being two I have heard of. In the time after everyone moved in to town from their farms, and the time before they moved into subdivisions with air-conditioning and concrete pools, the natural swimming holes were your best option for humid Southern afternoons. Sure, there were ponds on farms, but anyone who has ever watched cows cool themselves off in a farm pond is well aware of the need for moving water to help redistribute some of their bovine productions. The algae and bacteria that come along with livestock wading in still water will give you pause before jumping in, no matter how hot it may get. So, there was a need for cool moving water spots with enough depth to allow for belly flops and cannon balls.
Some places that got used were natural swimming spots, but a good number were human engineered- dammed mountain streams, watersheds and gristmill ponds. They were usually stream fed and had rocky or sandy bottoms- making for cool clean swimming conditions. Such was the case at Paris Mountain. When the CCC came in to make an old military camp and waterworks into a State Park, they found a ready made lake already at their disposal. The need for clean water in the nearby growing city of Greenville had left a series of small lakes with pipes and spillways included. While Greenville has long since given up on Paris Mtn. as its water supply, you can still see evidence of its aqueous efforts throughout the park. The largest lake is Lake Placid, sitting near the lower border of the park- in fact the ubiquitously named State Park Road runs right by the waterfall over the spillway on the dam of the lake. It is interestingly named, considering it is the hub of activity at the park; a trail encircles it, there are multiple picnic tables and a large recently retored stone bathhouse sits guard by its enclosed swimming area. On the surrounding trail are kiosks with photos of bathers in years gone by- from the 1920's onward it was a space for swimming and escaping the South Carolina summer heat.
Since the park has been established, they've continued to allow swimming in the upper portion of the lake. There is a fenced off grassy shore, with a small fleet of canoes and paddle boats for rent. There is a small strip of sandy beach, but mostly a dock the extends out into the water to give one access to a cooling plunge. A matching floating structure provides a diving board and a destination for the purpose driven swimmer. There are really no large hazards- no stinging jellyfish or rocky outcrops, no man-eating fish or underwater monsters. But there is the quiet lurking truth that due to mismanagement upstream, fecal coliform bacteria from local wastewater finds its way into the lake routinely. Too many days without a flushing (sorry for the pun) rain and with warm, still waters and a simple skinned knee could turn into your ticket for a hopsital visit; or a small unintentional gulp of water could be the beginning of a fast and entirely unpleasant weight loss program. This is not widely known or advertised of course, but I still check the water flow before considering a trip there.
Of course as much as I know about all of this, I have yet to partake. I have not so much as dipped my toes in the lake. I have hiked around it numerous times, pointed out rare and interesting trees and plants, watched turtles sunbathing on logs, charted the progress of the local beavers, and skipped stones across the still surface. But I haven't gone swimming. My family has done so- riding paddleboats and even participating in the New Year's Day "Polar Bear Plunge." And I have had intentions to do so that have been thwarted by summer afternoon storms and toddler meltdowns. But sometime soon, on some unbearably hot and humid day, after I've been to the U-pick peach place or berry farm and had sweat drip off every inch of skin, I intend to take a cool, refreshing swim in Lake Placid at Paris Mountain State Park- provided it has rained in the week before!

consistently talking about consistency

I am always harping on consistency. Someone said it was the hobgoblin of little minds. I suppose I do have a capacity for greater thinking and an abstract level that allows for dichotomies and contradictions to coexist peacefully. There are many examples in my life- my personal thoughts about evolution and creation, or the existence of hell, or when I want to blow my own mind I start thinking about time space continuums- hard to even have those thoughts without some serious open endedness. So it's not like I am super-rigid and need everyone and everything to be black or white.
However, comma, I do seem to have a need for those in the political/social rhetoric area to "stick to message" as it were. For example- I am highly irritated when you say one thing and do another when you are in the public spotlight- especially when you are begging for the public's attention! So, choose whether states rights is dominant or not- if Arizona can decide what to do about immigration then Illinois can make their own gun laws. If you won't accept federal policy to change health insurance, then stop accepting federal stimulus money. If you berate people for not supporting UN millenial development goals and spending their money to save the poor, then don't spend MILLIONS on lawsuits to keep old buildings while you tacitly uphold the wall street system of capitalism (get yours now and worry about the rest later). If we can't play judge about the value of a fetus' life because we don't have to power to legislate life, then we shouldn't support the death penalty. If you want immigration reform and you are worried about anchor babies, don't also lament that the constitution won't allow a certain Austrian born govenor to be president.
My latest hobgoblin comes in the form of two recent hullabaloos on the national stage. If you think Muslims should show some cultural sensitivity by not building a mosque/cultural center near ground zero, especially as we approach the actual anniversary date, even though they have the legal right to, and it won't be seen from the site- then for pete's sake- show some cultural sensitivity of your own by not holding an almost totally WASP rally on the anniversary and very site of one of the best known speeches of the civil rights movement.
In all these cases, and more that rankle me every day, it is almost always a case of "the rules need to apply to them, but not necessarily to me." There's always a self-interest angle, I get it. But living in this inner circle of hell where Pride and the "all about me" world is all we are surrounded by, sure is getting old. I encouraged my child the other day to take back a paper where he was credited for a wrong answer. I did not require it of him, but I did say, "you sure would want your teacher to admit to and change a grade in your favor- but you need to do the same and show that it works both ways." He did, and as I expected, his teacher still gave him full credit for his honesty. But I hope that he will learn something from that- when you are working with people and trying to get something done, it pays to be honest, to own up to who you are, and to say and mean the same things. Rules apply to everyone equally- (this also makes me in favor of a flat tax).That's a stretch I know, but a mother can always hope.

day15 half way

My thoughts today turn to an odd topic: depression. I say odd, because I don't really have any experience or knowledge of it- so I don't feel very qualified to speak on the subject. I do know that I have been blessed to not battle that particular illness- and I seem to know a large number of people who have done so and are doing so. I know that there is a large market out there and the pharmaceuticals seem to have convinced at least a decent potion of the doctors that medications are a great solution. I know there are also alternative treatments- most notably exercise and diet. I guess that as someone who hasn't ever really dealt with it (my emotional state is usually pretty constant and mediocre. No big highs or lows- boring in one sense, but it helps me keep my head in an emergency) I would like to understand depression and associated issues like anxiety and bi-polar a little better. I also try not to assume that just because I can get out of my funks with a little extra chocolate and some alone time that everyone has that ability- or that they should. It would be easy and wrong of me to just say "get over it" to someone dealing with depression.
But sometimes I think that the doctors feel like if you come and see them and just aren't feeling great then they need some sort of answer for you. If you want to pay $125 for an office visit you should probably get more than "sometimes we all feel bad." So I do think it is like ADD- a bit over diagnosed. Not that people don't struggle with attention deficit or with persistent depression, but I'm not sure that everyone who is being diagnosed and taking medications for these have actually crossed the line to where that is the answer for what's going on. It's just easier to slap a label on it and give some medications than really get into some hard work involving real lifestyle change. I realize its probably better to err on the side of over diagnosis than under- but I wish our system were better able to do wholistic care that could spend more time looking at all the issues and not just slap a prescription on it.
The other thing I struggle with is the phenomenon wherby the person actually is appropriately diagnosed and gets better while taking the meds, but then because they feel so much better, they feel like they don't need those meds and then stop taking them and have a crash. I have seen it enough to recognize it in people I care about and know pretty well. I sometimes want to look my friends in the face and say, "go take your meds." But again, as someone who has no real experience or knowledge, I feel out of my depth and lacking in credibility to say something of that sort, especially that bluntly. So there you have it- just some random thoughts on that subject that have been on my mind lately. It's really still not something that I know enough about- but I am encouraged that it is much more accepted and talked about in general stigma-free terms. And I am blessed to not deal with it in a personal way.

Day 14- the death of culture by mix tape

Out to dinner with other PWKAC (parents with kids at camp) tonight. Fun and best part was not having to come home and clean up stale pizza and pay the babysitter! Good food too- farm to table- french influences and local and organics. Yumm. Coq au Vin for me. Only disappointment was the chocolate cake being sold out. Had to *settle* for a peach crepe. Had an interesting conversation about eighties music and was able to crystalize a thought that has run around in my head for years. I had always tried to parse out why I loved eighties music so much, and how most of my peers did too, and even a lot of kids and younger folks today. There is still a distinctive genre called "eighties music." Not as much with "nineties music"- though grunge and rap were two dominant themes.
And that's what struck me. The Eighties were the last time we had a general culturally accepted top 40. The last time there was a mainstream music scene that really was mainstream- everyone knew who sang to the man in the mirror, what Jenny's number was, and who wished they had Jesse's girl. It was the beginnings of a fracturalization in youth culture that has only become more pronounced, despite the irony of how we have become more multi-cultural and global. I had a different post lauding John Hughes' ability to identify this fracturalization- but he also usually had the characters overcoming the niches and cliques to unify a community- everyone loves Ferris, wants their sixteenth birthday to be special, and hates being with vindictive teachers for detention. But he did point out the different groupings that high schoolers in particular were forming. The larger the town/city/high school, the more pronounced the divisions. And now, while we see regionalism and the unique character of towns all over the country get swept away but the unifying force of francised restaurants and big box stores (where can you go and not find a Wal mart and McDonalds?) somehow this desire to divide and subdivide into tribes of every possible ilk is stronger than ever.
I remarked that it was a trend that seemed to happen with the advent of the internet, and one of my dining companions very deftly noted that it was also the advent of portable music. When you could choose what you wanted to hear and when, and not be reliant on some D.J. playing it for you, that was when you could declare you only like neo-goth punk grunge with a ska influence, or electronica-emo-Christian-rap? (DC talk anyone?) And you didn't have to listen to, like or even know who the "mainstream" artists were.
Now, the biggest challenge in this from my perspective (besides the fact that it has raised a generation of people who are comfortable being at complete odds with others opinions and see no need for common ground) is when it comes to times like, say church, where we have kids from lots of different groups or 'splinter cells' coming together and trying to find commonality. As someone who works with youth, where do you start? To try and learn all the musical tastes means you have to be familiar with everything from Justin Beiber to Vampire Weekend to Lady GaGa to maybe even Bach...well you get the idea. Gone are the days when you could start a conversation that everyone was likely to have a stake in... "so, what do you think of the new Madonna album?" So, that's the challenge. I'm not sure I have a solution. I think youth groups eventually begin to have an identity of their own. But when you're just starting with a group that doesn't know each other- finding the common ground without music is definitely a challenge.

Day 13

This blogging every day is very hard. Especially since I know no one is reading anything I put up. But I need a discipline. Some kind of structure. Goodness knows I don't stick to a diet, and I usually see most of my projects peter out at some time or another. Somewhat enjoying a week without boys. I am happy to be doing EYC mission stuff this week- they have been gracious enough to let me come and go and just hang out in the afternoon. It allows me the chance to connect, but I've gotten home for dinner with George and the past two nights- hatch repair. Today's issue I thought was the hatch fix job I did yesterday- and I imagines somehow it's related- but the main issue I think is the locking mechanism. It was not fully unlocking the door- resulting in an inability to even use the handle, so still unable to open the door. I think it will be okay- but I haven't reattached the cover panel yet until it behaves better. I sense a new car is closer than it is farther away.
G and I are pretty sad- both with laptops, baseball all star game on, and topics of convo include facebook posts and random news bits. Wait- there was the Tik-Tok video with Star Trek clips. Hmm. I had wanted to work on the train set for the boys- but that is looking less possible- dinner with friends Weds, mission trip Thurs, anniversary with G Friday- and get them boys Sat! I miss them quite a bit, but I know they're having fun!
Well, that might just qualify for a really long status update or a very boring blog post.

Monday adventures

I don't know if it's because I just have the time to do it, or because God is so good in his timing- but it seems like major repairs have to be done when the kids are out of the picture- last year when B was at camp- the toilet broke and I had to replace it (with help from the G man). So today, the start of the week with both boys gone, I break the handle on the minivan hatch door. There is.no.other.way.to.open.it. Balh! I don't have time to go to the dealer and wait- plus pay who knows how much (going rate is $300 I saw) because Toyota makes stupid plastic handles for parts that get reused over and over and over. Yeah. That's about as smart as the floor mats covering up the gas pedal. Anyway- after looking online, found an easy fix for what I find is a common problem- and after some sweat, mosquitoes, flashlight holding by the G man and 3 hours later, the hatch door is fixed and maybe even a little easier to open than in was! It has an extra screw and a bolt in it, but oh well! I'm trying to think what I can spend that $300 on? Oh, that's right- we don't just have that laying around next to our pile of free time. Thank you to all who have patiently taught me how to use tools, be self reliant and to try to fix things before running off to a mechanic, plumber or carpenter. I am so much better off for it and I get to be quite smug for a few more days!

packing it in- Day 10

I think we've got the guys ready for camp now. Packed both trunks today- they are super excited and I hope it lives up to their expectations. This will be 4 years for the oldest, 1st year for the youngest. Small camp, well trained staff, best friend as director. It will be great. I have discovered though, that I am the mack-daddy packer in the family. I suppose it has to do with spatial relations ability. As in, I have some and my spouse doesn't. I also have a lot more experience knowing what is needed when.
Usually when you are packing for a trip, you put big bulky items in first and then fill in smaller things around, but that is sort of backwards for camp packing. All your bedding, your laundry bag and your swim stuff, including beach towel need to be on top, since you make your bed, tie up your laundry bag and go to take your swim test first thing on opening day. If you had all of that on the bottom, you'd upset the whole trunk digging it out the first few minutes there. Next should be your everyday clothes (shorts and t-shirts), toiletry bag and pajamas and underwear- and the lower level can be populated by extra shoes, flashlights and other objects easily identified by feeling, so no need to see them, and clothes not likely to be used such as costumes, long pants and rain jackets. That's my process and I stick by it. Ziplocs help keep stationary books and letter stuff together and dry, extra trash bags are helpful for really dirty or wet items that might happen during the week, a water bottle is good for hot weather, and a very light string backpack will help carry your pool and lake stuff around and yet not be a space taker. Don't forget initials or names on anything you can write on- and instructions to your kids that if they hold up an item in the lost and found that looks just like yours, chances are, it is yours. If you mistakenly claim it and find yours back at your cabin, you can bring it back the next day, but chances are good it is yours in the first place. My one solid rule for lost and found though was to never bother holding up socks or underwear- no one would claim them even if they did recognize them!
So- packing and lost and found from both staff perspective and parent perspective. Mostly staff as parent perspective. And roll the big items- allows you to make them more compact=take up less space. Lastly, I have to say it is humorous my boys bring fully packed trunks to camp for only a week long session. It is serious overkill. But, it makes them feel like uber-campers and ready to face the week- and hey, when it's all over with, they'll have a good coffee table for their dorm room.

Day 9 out of time

Well this will be short. Already 9:45, my night to read and I'm out of time. Facebook is powered by the energy of the time it siphons from your life. Didn't you know? But we're packing for camp, going to farmers markets, watching new Disney shows and de-heading shrimp today. Those are highlights. I also have managed to pull 206 songs from George's cd collection and I'm only through the G's. More of the same tomorrow!

Day 8 musings

I am sitting on my back porch while I write this. The sun set a few hours ago- but it is still probably 80 degrees or more. Today was one of those particularly hot days. About 100 I think- but it's July in South Carolina. It would be a strange summer without a few of those around. I can't tell which is louder to me- the hum of the a/c unit or the cicada summer symphony. I wish the a/c would stop so I could just hear the warbling drone of odd bugs, but with my husband's desire to sleep without sweating- I doubt it will turn off anytime soon. We got to meet some friends at the pool for some dinner and a cool off, so my hair is still wet and that makes me cold inside. The sky isn't particularly clear- we had an ozone alert today, but there are still a few stars peeking through. Since it's been pretty dry, I don't smell anything particularly strongly. It just smells warm and comfortable. There's enough humidity to make it comfortable without feeling like I am wearing saran wrap.
I love summer. It is my favorite season. As much as I appreciate the structure and purpose that the school year brings to our schedule (after all the boys fight far more after sitting around watching crappy tv all day than when they haven't really seen each other)- I try to cherish each summer day and I dread it going away. Even living in Florida didn't satiate my summer obsession. It's such a unique combination of factors. I just love summer. I don't mind sweating, I adore fresh vegetables from my garden and others, I think the idea of sleeping outside is perfectly acceptable in 80 degree weather. Watermelon, water balloons, water parks- what other time of year do they shine? I used to think my love of summer was all tied up with my love of camp- and it is true it is one of the major selling points for me- but there are other parts of summer I have only gotten to enjoy while not working and playing my hardest for 18 hours and sleeping the other 6. Gardening is one of those things. Cookouts that don't involve 200 hamburgers is another. Enjoying a mojito or mint julep is another. Working on a model train set up with the boys is certainly novel. I don't dare start a list of summer things that I enjoyed at camp too- my blog posts are long enough without that! But whatever my situation, camp employed or not- I love summer. I think I just heard a bat! Maybe it will eat some of these mosquitoes- the A/c just turned off for a brief minute- I think I'll just sit and listen.

arguing with the ump

So, lately I have found this metaphor to be helpful for describing my current outlook on life. Spoiler: it is my characteristic cynical observation. I end up watching a lot of sports with my spouse. He enjoys them quite alot, and usually I don't dislike them- although watching golf and baseball usually induce sleep for me. I also like small bits of sport watching instead of all day affairs. But I digress. In watching baseball highlights one night, they focused on a particularly dramatic episode of a manager-umpire dispute. You know- the ump calls the runner out at home plate and the manager charges out and starts screaming about how no, he was safe, and they stand toe-to-toe and spit obscenities in each other's faces until the ump gets tired and throws the manager out. So while watching this the futility of this drama strikes me. "Has it ever happened in the history of baseball," I ask my sports encyclopedia husband, "that the ump has reversed his decision after one of these episodes and said 'Oh, you're right, he is safe.'?" I mean, they never change their minds- no amount of people screaming in their face will change their decision. So the answer is no, they never do reverse the call. And so this becomes a metaphor for so many things in public life these days. There is bitter disagreement, vituperative words shouted across the divide, and in the end no one changes their mind. It provides some good drama, gets some energy out, shows both parties to be mean spirited and after their own interests, and in the end changes nothing. I think that can describe entire sessions of congress or state legislative bodies or even church councils. So, my question is, is it worth it to rail on about these things? Or maybe we need a better way to engage each other and solve our disagreements. Stop shouting at the ump. It's futile and makes you both look like jerks.

Name a famous movie you have never seen. Why?

Okay- too many movie questions already. There are a ton in the last ten years, and the answer is the same for all of them- I have kids. I've seen way more kids movies in the past 10 years than what would pass for famous movies (although there is a Pixar argument to be made here). But, if I had to name one that I want to see, it would be Schindler's List. I didn't get to see it when it came out, then we had kids, and it was before netflix. Now we couldn't watch it with kids in the house- yet. Another few years and maybe. Also, my partner in movie watching doesn't like depressing movies, so that is another strike against it. But, still, I'd like to see it. Someday.

Day 5- where does the money go

Just to be clear- I don't get blog prompts on weekends- I guess I am supposed to take weekends off- which is good, because this weekend was very busy and allowed very little time for blogging. Plenty of cooking, some tourist-ing and fellowship and fireworks. No blogging. So, onward we go. Today's prompt is: What is one thing you think is worth spending money on, what is something you always cheap out on?
I would say I have come to believe it is in everyone's best interest if I buy decent food. So, I try and spend more on organic and fresh foods, especially produce. For a long time I couldn't understand why organics cost more- since you aren't using extra pesticides or chemical fertilizers- using less should translate to less cost right? But then I learned about how much more labor intensive organic farming is, and how it is not subsidized by the gov't like commercial farming. Ah ha! So, I support those who make the extra effort to grow organically, and locally- and I will pay more for their products. I find this to particularly hit me in the meat area, since I can grow my own produce and freeze it. I don't intend to grow my own livestock, however, and so I am usually paying more for better meat.
What I cheap out on is a harder question- but I think it would have to be clothes. First of all, I don't buy a lot of clothes- and I will wear out of date things all the time because they still have life. I have never been a fashionista- more of a fashion victim- a late adopter of fashion trends, and never on the vanguard of couture. So, I buy my stuff at big-box stores, discount stores, online sales sites, get hand-me-downs from my sister. I look for clearance racks for my kids, balk when my husband wants to buy $80 running shoes, and won't spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes for me. Ever. (Maybe hiking boots, but that would be it!). I just went to a fabulous shoe store in Asheville, and despite the amazing selection and sale prices, I came away with nothing. I reasoned I could get a lot at our local trail shop's "end of summer sale" in 2 months. So yeah, clothing would be my cheap point. Look for me at the sales rack!

DAy 2

So, I signed up through NaBloPoMo to get prompts for a month of blogging- but they don't have one for today- must be the holiday. So, I'll just give a brief listing of three things that annoy me, and then some things that delight me (should end on a good note!)
Annoying:
1)Inconsistency- hypocrites. Say one thing, do another; like one side when its convenient, switch and like the other when it's not. Latest example: The same conservative rhetoric which says we should have smaller government, that the federal authority should not trump local concerns, that we shouldn't have Uncle Sam telling a city or state what it can and cannot do (ala Arizona's immigration laws)- that same usually vocal strain is absolutely silent about the Supreme Courts decision to make gun laws federal and strike down an individual community's right to make their own laws. Where's the outrage and bluster now? Polishing up the Colt .45.
2)Eating with your mouth open. I don't want to either see or hear what you're currently ruminating on. Especially hear it- the seeing part is gross too, but it's really the sound that gets to me.
3) Inability of children to have rational discussions. I know it's developmental, I know it's just the age. Still, a call for rational thought amongst 8 and 10 year-olds doesn't seem so unreasonable? But when you are campaigning to be the poster child for unreasonable, I guess it crimps your style.

Okay- three delights:
1) cooking food I have grown/harvested myself. Second is cooking using local stuff- but best when it comes right from my yard. Especially like to brag about how much came from my garden. Hopefully makes up for some deficiencies in the cooking!
2) Well structured word humor. I am full of bad puns and quips all the time, and most of them sail over my kids heads, but I love it. And when the kids catch on...like when my son said he could read through his rear end- and then said, no in order for that to happen he would need "butt-focals"! I'd like to think I inspired some of their quick wit!
3) Summer evenings. I've never gotten over my summer camp addiction, and so summer evenings are pretty special to me. The crickets and cicadas- occasional thunderstorms, warm but not hot- lots of good conversations and memories tied up with summer evenings-- even a few shenanigans. Truly delightful.