I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike...

Ok, besides getting old Queen songs lodged in your brain, I just want to report that I am morally superior to lots of people, as I rode my bike to work today. It is national "Ride your Bike to Work Week", and today was my best bet for not getting rained on. Greenville is all about being a green city,and is especially high on biking and bike week. I've always enjoyed biking as a form of exercise, because the way I do it, I get to rest on the downhills (none of this constant peddaling stuff for me!) Now, let me see what I can do about those other 364 days of the year. Factoid: it takes me about 7 minutes to get to work by car, and took me 15 by bike. Not bad for an old lady.

Things Children Say

Before I forget these, I'm going to write them down.

Me (teaching Sunday School): Our worship service is divided into two parts, like two halves- but put together they make a whole. Does anyone know anything like that, that has two parts that you put together to make a whole?
Josh(having watched a show about splitting atoms): I know- An atom.
Me: OK- what else?
Ellery(hearing Atom and thinking Adam): Adam and Eve were the first people on the earth.
Me: Well, that's true- they were the first two people and together they made the first family. Can you all think of anything else?
Margy(not to be outdone): I know who the first people on earth were- they were the Indians. I am reading a book about them.
George(said with a 6 year old accent): No, the first people on earth were the Austro-pith-e-cus.
Me: Okay- how about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You put the two parts together to make one sandwich. That's how it is with our church service.

I should have stopped then.

On a different day, when I was teaching Children's church:
Me (reading a story about Jesus' last night- the last supper, garden of Gethsemane, arrest): And so, after they ate their dinner, Jesus and his disciples went to an olive garden, and there he prayed.
Hannah: An Olive Garden? I love eating there!
Me: what?
Another savvy adult: Not an Olive Garden restaraunt, a garden grove where they grow olive trees.
Me (trying not to laugh): OOOhh. Yes, that's right- a garden with olive trees.

Lastly, my favorite story of Burke and communion
Burke goes to communion with his friend Peter, and Peter's mom. Burke takes the bread and the wine, but Peter only takes the bread. The wine is administered with these words," The blood of Christ, the cup of salvation." Upon noticing that Peter has not taken the wine, Burke says quite loudly, "I like mine with a little salvation, you should try it." Peter's mom, the priest and chalice bearer all try hard not to completely lose it at the altar.

Do I have a label?

For a minute I was worried I might have been pegged. USA today has an article here about the newest generational label- Scuppies (socially concious upwardly-mobile people). I do consider myself socially concious- aware of how my actions and habits affect others. But, then I realized- I would rather categorize myself as downwardly mobile- ala Matthew Sleeth's Downscaled Life. I've no aspirations to make more money, increase my social standing or work to impress others. Instead I'd prefer to add quality to my life- simplify, get rid of 'stuff' and try to impart in my kids a real appreciation for the sanctity and holiness of living with less. So, if we're doing acronyms, that would make me a scd-or sciddie - hmm, sounds like a small skin mite. Maybe I'll just stick with Smitty. Close enough.

shameless plug

Here is my shameless plug for a new band. Some folks I know in Tallahassee have put together a kickin band led by a few of my old counselors from Camp Weed (yes, its a real place). Sarah McElhany leads on vocals, Claire Swindell rocks the bass, Charlie Vanture smokes on the guitar and they've added someone I don't know, but who tears up the drums- Keli Swearingen. They have titled themselves The Sarah Mac Band- or SMB for short. I hired Sarah one summer for her musical abilities as our worship and arts leader. Charlie volunteered many summers and I have several memories of him using his amazing guitar abilities to help campers shine in the talent show. Claire worked several summers and was great at guitar, and I am so very impressed with how she's picked up the bass and totally glues the band's sound together. All together it is an amazing jazz/rock/folk/acoustic combo that has gotten me amped about them making it past nice local group that plays a few bars and instead puts them as contenders! They are in fact contending for a spot at Bonaroo in Tennessee- and just had a track on the widely read music indie magazine Paste- for their April CD sampler. Their newest album is due out next week- they will have a release party on Friday and Saturday April 18th and 19th, and it will be available on iTunes starting Tuesday the 22nd. Here's the website http://www.sarahmacband.com/. Be a part of a new thing, enjoy some great music, become a fan and join me in saying, I knew them when...

Favorite song: Open Fire, closely followed by their masterful cover of Gershwin's Summertime.. Check them out!

One, Two-who, thrree...

In response to the boy's request of "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" the wise old owl answers three before crunching away at the candy. The narrator then wisely says, "the world may never know". In quite similar fashion, I have been pondering the question of how long it would take me, being bereft of challenging and nourishing Christian community, how long would it take to reach a nadir in my spiritual life? I think I'd have to say 5 years- for that is how long it has been since I've moved to Greenville. But I think I may be like the owl in coming to my answer a little too quickly. It is akin to declaring a drought, and what level of extremity it classifies as. I mean, how can we get 4 inches of rain in a day and still be in a drought? And yet, it is the persistence of the situation that makes it so. In a similar way, though there be showers and relieving rains along the way, my spiritual life has slipped into a drought, and I am left trying to find sources of life giving water. It is not as if I am some rain-forest plant who has been thrust into the sahara- my Christian life has been marked with arid landscapes. I am pretty drought and heat tolerant. But even the toughest of plants needs water to grow. When you see a huge cactus in the desert, chances are they are very old- they grow so slowly due to the lack of moisture. Similarly, my growth has slowed, I am experiencing less and less spiritual moisture in my life. Still, I believe, I hope, I dream of the kingdom of God come to its fruition. I rejoice in His creation, I trust my family and my life to his care. Is this drought moderate, extreme or exceptional? Bereft as I may be, this is likely not the true nadir. In fact the world, and I, may never know.

When work is really work

OK- so I have this idea for a new workplace. People like to work out- can't find time because their jobs get in the way, yadda yadda. We eat too much and need the exercise to keep our bodies in the idolatrous shapes we like them to be. So, how about if your job was to work out? I mean, you went in and for say, 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon, with a good break in the middle for rehydrating, you simply walked/ran on a treadmill or lifted weights or some other machine assisted exercise. Why machine assisted? Well, because what you would be doing is using your motion to generate electricity! Just like there are special batteries connected to solar panels that store the energy so it can be used later, so too would these machines be attached to special batteries- so as you ran, you would turn a crank that turned a small generator that stored energy in batteries for use other places! We could use the power for an associated business, say like my local foods grocery store, or a great bookstore/toy store/coffee bar. Or perhaps powering a recycling plant. And if we generated too much power, we'd just sell the excess back to the grid! What a win-win. I mean, the requirements for the job are very low- can you walk? How about can you lift weights? (even most folks confined to a wheelchair can do so). You would end up in great shape, you'd get paid a basic wage, and we'd have a renewable sustainable energy source to sell to people everywhere. As for pollution, I suppose we'd end up with some sweat issues- but I don't see that being a project ender. So, what do you do for a living? I work. Work out that is.

The Distance of Progress

So, I have been reading a book of essays by Wendell Berry called "The Way of Ignorance," which has been at some times challenging, some times encouraging, and a few times has even been boring. I can only read so long on the topic of agricultural sustanibility. I am in complete favor of it, but I am at a big loss as to how we replace our topsoil. I think it is because I begin to see just how completely and totally we have screwed up the world, and that makes me a bit depressed, for it takes more imagination than I have to figure out how we turn it around and peacefully co-exist with the world we have been abusing for so long. I guess I don't have enough faith in humankind's ability to deny itself pleasure for a greater good. For that is what would be required of everyone in order to truly restore the environment. Confession that we have indeed caused problems in the world is not enough- we need true repentance.

I was reminded also, of just how far removed we are from the natural world in a couple of instances this week. It seems that part of the Easley community, located in a fairly rural county to our west, was experiencing a wretched stench this week. Several people called in to complain to authorities of this rotting, putrid and acrid smell that some supposed might be a sewer leak, and still others thought could be a chemical spill somewhere. The local authorities set to the task of finding the source of the smell, and for a brief time thought they had located it in a festering dumpster behind some institution. But, that was not the source. After a day or two, they finally tracked it to a nearby farm, where a farmer, in preparation for spring growing, had begun to spread a load of chicken manure. 50 tons of it to be exact. That's a lot of chicken poop. It didn't surprise me that it would whip up quite an odor, and that that odor would drift a mile or two around. What did surprise me though, was that noone was able to identify that this would be the time of year farmers spread manure, nor were they able to identify the smell as manure- since so few of us are ever around it anymore. We could much more readily identify the smell of chlorine, or perhaps that odor they put in natural gas. But not good old black gold fertilizer that used to be used on every farm in every town. Did I mention this took place in a fairly rural community?

The second thing that has caught my attention is the Bradford Pear trees. They are all blooming like crazy and they are a welcome sign of spring with their almost lollipop shaped white popcorn clusters of blooms. The thing of it is, though, is that you know they aren't a native tree, because native trees know better than to bloom just yet. They are for sure getting ready to pop, but the Bradford pears beat the dogwoods, peaches, apples and such by a good 2 weeks or more. That makes them much more likely to succumb to a late season frost or ice event, which is not unheard of in these parts (like last year's killing frost on April 15th). As I reflected on the Bradford pears, a few things struck me. Bradfords are an ornamental, they were originally bred as sterile trees- they don't produce pears. At least, not what you would call pears. A few have found their evolutionary way around that and now produce these marble sized brown fruits each year. Their blossoms also really stink- I mean badly! Of course, that won't bother you from inside your climate controlled car or house. (I seriously wonder if car makers would have stopped making car windows that roll down if it weren't for fast food drive-thrus or toll booths.) Lastly, the way Bradfords have been bred makes them ill suited for regular wildlife. Their limbs all come from one point in the trunk, giving it an upside down umbrella sort of structure- which looks cool, but doesn't invite birds to make their nests since the v's in the branches are all at one point, and all too low to the ground for protection for nests. They were also originally crossbred with a thorny tree, and now as they've evolved, many come equipped with sharp thorns along the branches. Lastly, their structure is open to the wind, and when ice storms come around here, the tree splits right down the middle due to its construction. Oh, and while they grow rapidly and provide a nice row of trees to line a highway, they only live for about 15 years (which is short in tree-time) so they will have to be replaced quicker than other trees.

All of this makes them a poster-child of modern times- a fruit tree that doesn't provide fruit; that looks great when blooming even if it smells horrid; provides no windbreak for houses or housing for birds; and only lasts about half the distance of your mortgage. Don't we all want pretty trees that don't do the things trees are supposed to do- ones that can be chopped down and replaced when we get bored with them?

So there you have it- we have come a long way from an agricultural society where people knew the smell of manure and understood the value of a good native tree species. This distance is what makes me fearful for our ability to repent and turn away from our current course- to return to what we should know as caretakers of this garden. This is, I guess, the distance of progress.

And if I'm elected

At one point in my life, I began to put together my campaign for president. I think I calculated my age (I was 21 at the time) and when I'd be eligible, plus most likely have enough experience, and decided I'd run in 2020- you know, we'd call it the "Clear Vision" campaign. I could probably get complete funding from the eyecare industry alone. As if it weren't unlikely enough on its own, I was reminded this week, in the form of some phone calls with my siblings, of just how unlikely it would be. Billy Carter has nothing on my family.

So, since it's unlikely I'll ever actually run, I've been meaning to write for awhile a list of things I would say if I were running for president. And maybe, if everything as we know it changes in some apocolyptic way in the next 10 years, you'll hear me say these again. Of course, they aren't politically correct at all and would get me in trouble rather than elected. Mostly, they're just some of my more provocative thoughts on political and social issues:

"It used to be that people were Americans first, and then other things second. Now, whatever party you align with, or cause, or gender orientation, or lobby- that is your main descriptor- and being an American is just a consolation prize that allows you the freedom to maintain your primary identity. E Pluribus Unum means "out of many one" as in "One Nation under God, indivisible." We are now a loosely confederated amalgum of many- one nation that has become many things. We fight more with each other about who is right and who deserves the title of American, rather than seeing the person we fight with as a team mate and fellow countryman, who happens to disagree with how we do things, not who we are."

"I believe that if the US were to really claim it's identity as a "Christian Nation," and live into the call of Christ to love our neighbors and pray for our enemies- we would spend 12 billion dollars a month(or what we are currently spending on war efforts) on rebuilding countries, providing safe drinking water, cleaning up air and ocean pollution, making sure human rights were protected and providing health care and education world wide. I think that sort of investment in other countries, not expecting anything in return, is not only closer to what Jesus had in mind for Christian behavior, but also I think it would make it very hard for people to hate us so much."

"How is it that one group of people can claim to have the ear, voice and arm of God and yet be so selfish, greedy and arrogant as to defame the name of Christian worldwide? Seriously, would any reasonable Muslim, upon having their country invaded, their house blown up, their rights, livelihoods and families taken away, think of Christians as anything other than selfish assholes?"

"I propose a money back system on plastic. 5 cents a pound or something. It works really well for aluminum. "

"Do we really mean to say that 'Capitalist Empire' and 'Christian Nation' are the same thing? Then why do we act like they are? I think it's time to choose one or the other."

"If we don't consider everyone who drives a car to be a great mechanic, why do we suppose that anyone who has been to school can be a teacher?"

"I believe that when you say you are a citizen, you acknowledge you are a part of something greater than yourself. You become a part of a community. There is something to be said for the sum being more than it's parts. A united community can do more than each of us on our own. That is what the vision of America has always been. Somewhere, we began to believe it was about each of us getting our own and lots of it. How does that fit with the idea of a community?"

Well, that's certainly enough for now. Maybe I'll put up more later- if I don't get picked up by some US survellience group for my subversive thoughts. Don't forget to vote!

The Western Diet

So, several times a week, George has meetings, or plays soccer, or golf or does scouts, or coaches the boys team. It makes it a challenge to do dinners- especially with the boys hungry at about 6:00pm- and also while I'm trying to think up healthy meals with lots of fresh veggies. Add to this daily dilemma that George is doing a cholesterol fast of sorts and can't have any beef, lamb or pork. Lots of chicken dinners- and as remarkably diverse as chicken can be, it still gets old. So, tonight George is off playing golf, and I started trying to put together a dinner menu. I had a couple of chicken pieces I was going to barbecue- but then I spotted the hot dogs. I added some Pillbury Crescent rolls to make modified "pigs in a blanket". I then rummaged in the freezer and found the microwave bounty of Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese, as well as some onion rings and Ore-Ida crinkle cut french fries. I topped this oh-so-healthy meal with some Bush's original recipe baked beans, and some Del-monte 'Lite" pear halves. For our beverage, some Crystal Light Strawberry/Banana/Orange drink. I was amazed at what a perfect storm of food stuff products I had concocted. Out of curiousity I wanted to see what additives, nutrients and byproducts I had subjected my family to this night. First, I was suprised by how much real food was actually involved: that is considering the prepackaged quick preparation meal items I was dealing with. Possibly most suprising of all was finding the foods with Corn Syrup or my favorite, High Fructose Corn Syrup. So, here are the products again- you tell me which ones have the ever increasing HFCS or corn syrup....

Oscar Meyer Beef Franks

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

Ore Ida Crinkle Cut French Fries

Alexa Onion Rings

Stouffer's (frozen) Macaroni & Cheese

Bush's Original Recipe Baked Beans

Del Monte Lite Pear Halves

Hunt's Ketchup

Crystal Light Strawberry/Banana/Orange drink



While you think- here's a fun picture of what happens when everything eats too much HFCS...



Made your guesses? Ready?



The only product with High Fructose Corn Syrup was the ketchup- and only one other had corn syrup- and that was....the hot dogs! Oh yeah. I'm loving it. So much for the healthy eating trend.

The Ebb and Flow

I meant to write this in Advent, but it works for Lent too. Advent and Lent represent the two major preparation times prior to the largest and most well known Christian feasts- Christmas and Easter, respectively. As a result, they share a church color (purple) a general austerity (giving up 'Alleluia'; simple greens for altar flowers; quiet days; practices of fasting and denial) and end with a major party of celebratory proportions. So, besides Advent being a bit shorter, what is the major difference? Here's my theory on that:

Advent is about receiving. It's about getting your heart ready to receive the infant king- opening yourself to the wonder of a God who humbles himself to come and live amongst us. Perhaps you have to make room in your heart- but in the end, you receive Jesus- much as on Christmas morning, you receive presents. It is the time to breathe in God's Spirit.

Lent is about getting rid of things. Of emptying yourself and removing the clutter of life that keeps you from living the life God has for you. Sometime it's through outward disciplines of fasting- or sometimes through simply claiming those areas of shortcoming as our own. Whatever the case- we let it go and get it out of our lives. You let God's spirit clean out your life and breathe out the things that keep you from God.

So- receiving and releasing- add to, take away- breathe in, breathe out-Ebb and flow, come and go. The rhythm of abundant life.

When will the church live out the vision?

I grow increasingly weary of the church. I understand how many have lost their 'faith'- not in God, but in the human enterprise which seeks to represent him. I'm especially tired of modernistic mainline denominational thinking. And I think if I hear "well, that's they way it's done in businesses" as an excuse to behave in a totally worldly way one more time, I might retch. So what if that works for a Fortune 500 company- that's not a good reason to treat church ministers the same as you would a cubicle dwelling data entry clerk. "Best practices" simply are the most efficient ways to make profits and get businesses lean, mean and ever chugging towards their capitalistic goals. Is that the same mission as the church's? Aren't the 'best practices' for Christians ones that involve denying oneself, taking care of others and generally saying no to a constant satiation of appetite? And the corporate world is all about consumption, accumulation, looking out for oneself and encouraging more appetites so you can sell more product? So if we don't have anywhere near the same missions, why should we use the same practices? Of course, the unnamed elephant in the room, is that for many, the church is but one more capitalistic enterprise, seeking to franchise its way into being the most prominent 'brand' of Christianity around.
Perhaps even more disturbing to me than this omnipresent trend of Christian capitalism, is the very few people who would agree with me, or find any ethical dilemma in having a church work as a company, complete with the pastor as CEO and vestry as the board of directors. There is, after all, a certain size of church that gets called a "corporate parish". There is far too much interest in bottom line and balanced budgets all in the name of maintenance, and very little discourse on sacrificial living for mission. We must keep the doors open, the heat on and the preacher's salary paid so we can.....what? So we can have a great building to open up for 2 hours a week and meet together and feel good about the 3% of our budget we're giving to the poor. When, oh when, might we stop trying to emulate the 'success' of the corporation and finally start living the alternative( as in different than those of the world) lifestyles of Jesus followers?

The Top 40 @ 40

I've tried three times now to make this post. For George's 40th I made him 2 discs of all the top 40 songs from each year of his life. See, he's a big music fan, and even tracked the top 40 religiously when he was in middle school (still has the notebooks of lists to prove it). His brother Bill stole my idea and ended up with better mixes, because rather than be limited by a small thing like what the actual #1 song was for that week, or even limit yourself to songs that made the charts- he only limited himself by having the songs be from albums released in that year- opening up all sorts of cool, more listenable music, while my collection, while historically accurate, will likely end up on a shelf. Why- you may ask? Well, George's birthday is February 22nd- the week after Valentine's day- which means that all the songs that got airplay and requests for the big love fest, got that extra boost to make them #1. There are some truly sappy ones and some that seem cheesy- we did escape without an Air Supply tune- but see for yourself:
Top 40 at 40
#1 single week of February 22nd:

68-Love is Blue- Paul Mauriat
69- Everyday People- Sly and the Family Stone
70- Thank you (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again)- Sly and the Family Stone
71-One Bad Apple- The Osmonds
72-Without You- Nilsson
73-Crocodile Rock- Elton John
74-The Way We Were- Barbra Streisand
75-Pick up the Pieces- AWB
76-50 Ways to Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon
77-Blinded by the Light- Manfred Mann's Light Band
78-Stayin Alive- The BeeGees
79-Do Ya Think I'm Sexy- Rod Stewart
80-Crazy Little Thing Called Love-Queen
81-9 to 5- Dolly Parton
82-Centerfold- J. Geils Band
83- Baby Come to Me- Patti Austin & James Ingram
84-Karma Chameleon- The Culture Club
85-Careless Whisper- Wham
86-How Will I Know- Whitney Houston
87-Livin' on a Prayer-Bon Jovi
88-Season's Change-Expose
89-Straight Up- Paula Abdul
90-Opposites Attract-Paula Abdul
91-Everbody Dance Now- C&C Music Factory
92-I'm Too Sexy-Right Said Fred
93-I Will Always Love You- Whitney Houston
94-The Power of Love- Celine Dion
95-Creep- TLC
96-One of Us- Joan Osborne
97-Don't Speak- No Doubt
98-My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion
99-Believe- Cher
00-Learn to Fly- Foo Fighters
01-Don't Tell Me-Madonna
02-Can't Get You Out of My Head- Kylie Minogue
03-Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
04-The Way you Move- Outkast
05-Since you Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
06-Stickwitu- Pussycat Dolls
07-Say it Right-Nelly Furtado

I mean- what are the chances of 2 Paula Abdul songs back to back years! Or two Celine Dions- a Whitney Houston? Cher? Wham? Oh well. I made the more accurate and purest mix I knew how to make- hopefully that counts for something? Happy Birthday George!

Metascribing

So I've been thinking alot lately about writing. Not just little things, but seriously writing. I have some aspirations to write on more than just a bloggers level. I think part of this has been because I have been reading more lately- which is something I haven't had as much time to do until the past year or so. As a result, I get ideas and themes and make connections and then I want to write them down- to share my observations. We've recently experienced what happens when I think too much about science and the universe. (see previous blog posts) But, since I've been thinking about writing lately, I thought that I would choose to write about writing- so I guess I am metascribing- (if thinking about thinking is metacognating, then writing about writing is....)? There are a couple of things I know about me and writing- especially what I see as my weaknesses. I have to keep a sense of humor and lightheartedness- or I will get into my dark and cynical side- we don't need more of that type of thinking these days. I also find that if I am writing about something meaningful from my life, it gets pretty sappy and sentimental- I'm not a big fan of my own writing when I get that way. Lastly, I haven't ever really tried- but dialogue seems to escape me. I either write WAY to many words or what I write sounds unnatural. So, that rules out a few types of writing- including the great American novel.

What it leaves me are the forms I am comfortable with anyway- which is more of the essay- the humorous or perhaps even expository- a reflection on a topic or theme, maybe an observation on the odd way I look at life. I could also possibly do some journalism-type feature writing- but that would require time for research, and some taming of my word choice. I am not very stingy with words, if you hadn't figured that out by the length of these blog entries. With some revision and discipline, though, I might be able to tighten up my writing. If I am serious about writing I need to keep reading alot, and also I need to write more frequently. Lastly, I think if I want to do more than write as a hobby, I should take a few classes to renew some writing talents that have gone fallow. There is something about sitting under another's direction and critique that helps sharpen my writing. It makes me more vigilant about my use of passive voice or overuse of adverbs and fragmented sentences. It helps. Maybe we can all expect better blog entries in the future or, maybe, just more of them.

While I'm in the crazy universe

While I'm on this big thought, crazy universe theme- I'll share my latest idea for a sci-fi movie. First, a little geology lesson. So, it seems that the magnetic poles- north and south- change their polarity every few hundred thousand years or so. Geologists know this from studying the magnetic characteristics found in rock that has come out of the mid-atlantic sea floor as molten lava, only to harden into rock. As it hardens, the magnetic particles within it, take advantage of the fluidity and they align themselves with the positive magnetic pole. When you look at which way these particles face, you find a pattern of a width of rock lined up with the north pole, and then a width lined up with the south pole- indicating that in the past, the poles have shifted their polarity. The exact timing is hard to determine, as is why they switched (was there a bombardment of solar particles from the sun, or an asteroid coming too close?), but its pretty certain that they have indeed switched. There is much speculation as to what would happen if they switched tomorrow, as it hasn't happened in known human history. Certainly there would be some disruptions as GPS sattelites and compass system everywhere relocated their focus from North to South pole. But what else might happen?

Enter my sci-fi thriller....

So, to build the drama, you have some serious sun spot/aurora borealis/ magnetic fluctuation activity going on- and NASA and scientists world wide trying to figure out why and what it means. There's speculation of course, and you take on this one slightly crazy and discounted scientist type as your protagonist (male or female- wouldn't matter). They think it has something to do with the poles- and they would be right! Now, here's where we can take two different paths- the first having our protagonist using Biblical prophecy, egyptian, celtic and mayan calendars to figure out what's going to happen, and ending up in an deep underground bunker in the middle of Colorado- anticipating what is about to happen- which is the world actually shifts magnetic poles AND starts to revolve the other way. The result being that the entirety of atmosphere, topsoil, trees, buildings, cars, lakes, oceans, rivers etc. all get pulled off the earth- because as the globe grinds to a halt and begins to spin the other way- we loose all gravity for a few minutes- long enough for most volcanos to erupt, several earthquakes to happen, and all the aformentioned matter to get flung off into space. Our protagonist and friends have to then negotiate their way back up to the earth's surface (after the planet starts spinning the other way- sun rising in the West- whole nine yards) and then decide to repopulate- go live on the moon (which captured a bit of atmosphere when it spun off the earth in addition to altering its orbit a little further out) or maybe they simply all perish- I don't have a good ending there.

The second possible storyline involves the aforementioned science type using the same sources to figure out what is going to happen- and then its the save the world idea- how do you keep the north pole positive and what sort of satellite contraption can you use to affect the magnetic force...but in the end- life goes on as we know it.

So- there it is. I think that completes my crazy macro thinking for a little while. Maybe I'll just start blogging about how my son scored 14 of his teams 28 points in their semifinal basketball game! Look out Serge Zwicker and Cherokee Parks- there's another big goofy white boy in the paint who's on his way!

Nothing is in the center of a doughnut

Okay the title may be misleading- I'm having these 'big thoughts' again- my inner geek is hard at work these days. A couple of things have fed my thought processes- one was a video by Rob Bell- Everything is Spiritual. Great stuff- questioning the creation and the randomness of the universe. Next would be a combination of random information gleaned from sources like Science Friday and Stardate (this 2 minute radio piece on interesting space stuff). Lastly, a quote from They Might Be Giants: "There is only one everything". Funny that. Everything is a singular noun. As is Universe. (Uni means one of course). Something very, very, big, that contains all, is summed up by a singular word. "Everything is coming together." Hmm. But 'none' requires a plural verb- as in "there are none who understand" instead of "there is none." Except in the south- we is a bit more lenient on proper verb-noun agreement.

So, anyway, I've been thinking about the immense-ness of the universe. How, no matter how small you get, there's something smaller- As the sun is to the earth, the earth is to a pebble, a pebble is to an atom and an atom is to a quark. (Yes, I'm talking subatomic particles). And similarly, as big as you get- there are billions of stars, (each with a solar system?) enclosed in billions of galaxies, grouped in clusters, across bazillion light years. Oh, and speaking of light- the constant speed that we use for measuring distance across this universe- they can now stop light. It has been done- they stopped a beam of light (something like a mile long wave that was turned into about 4 microns of length) in a super cooled cloud of atoms, then picked up the light and moved it a short distance and then started it on its way again. How cool is that? But it begs the question- if scientists on earth can create a cloud of atoms supercooled enough to stop light in an experiment on our temperate planet, then why would we think that light, as it travels through the immense dark spaces of the universe surrounded by void and dark matter (read very cold)- why would we expect light to continue at the same rate as it does in our warm world? And so, is everything in the universe as far away as we think it is, or if you want to go the extra dimension- is everything as old as we think it is?

Now if you are still reading and haven't reached for the aspirin or flipped over to the american idol page yet, then I know I've got you thinking. (Susan will most likely tag this as another reason I shouldn't be allowed to blog). So, here's the thing- the more I learn about the amazing complexity and diveristy and intricate nature of the universe- the deeper my belief in God gets. I can't fathom believing that human life on this little rock is just a random accident. My trouble comes when I think about those who consider these same issues and come to the opposite conclusion. For them, it is too complex, too random, too crazy to be part of any design or created by any entity. Especially not an entity that would let itself be known as the god of a war mongering tribe of nomads. (Gene Rodenberry, creator of Star Trek fell in this category, as do several other prominent voices of Science).

Here's my take on this- as good a Smitty theory as you are going to get after all that big thinking. So, it is hard work to open up your brain and take in the vastness of space- the denseness of a single cell- the power of subatomic particles (what is an atom bomb after all?). It takes alot of work to get your brain around all of that, and if anyone has the capacity to expand that body of knowledge, to make it understandable to the common person, to possibly even find a new part of the cosmic puzzle- well then they are probably justified in thinking highly of their intellect. But having done the mental work it takes to get to the point of discovering quarks (which were unconceivable when they discoved atoms)- how much more so does it take to say- "there is more." There is more to it- it can get smaller- the universe can get bigger- something could be in a dimension outside of time. It takes more mental energy to do that- to say that after all the work you have done and all you have discovered that you aren't the final word. There is something more there. It is human nature in all its proud glory that takes the arrogant position to say: if I can't conceive it- it can't exist. I for one, disagree- I am okay with God being bigger than my capacity to understand it. Doesn't mean I don't applaud those who are trying to find what lies within- what lies at the outermost reaches of the galaxy (if the universe is always expanding- what is it expanding into?) But I for one, while I can delight in their discoveries, I can rest in the knowledge that God is the biggest, the smallest and everywhere in between. There's also only one everywhere. Funny that.

Now- where did that doughnut get to? I'm hungry.

More than an Alanis Morisette title...

How's this for ironic? So I take Allegra 180 each day to keep my allergies at bay. I don't have horrible allergies, but enough of a reaction to certain things that if left to its own devices, and fed by the viruses my young kids bring home from school, will develop into a sinus infection, bronchitis and other delightful respiratory ailments. Between the Allegra and use of a Neti Pot( ancient Yoga nasal saline irrigation- I know, TMI) I have managed to avoid having anything serious enough to send me to the doctor in the past 9 months or so. My Allegra prescription ran out last month. I called the dr. this morning to get a new prescription and guess what? I can't get a new script because I haven't seen the doctor in over 6 months. Here's the irony: I haven't had to see the doctor because the medicine works and does what it should. I can't get more without seeing the doctor- for a regular appointment when I don't need one.

When George called in with this weird dizzy spells he was having last month, he couldn't get an appointment. Yet, the receptionist was ready to schedule me anytime for an appointment to say hello to my doctor. I mean, I'm sure the doctor has plenty of truly sick people to see- does he really need to take the 10 minutes out of his schedule (which will translate to a minimum of 30 minutes for me) to make sure I'm healthy? I get that there are drugs which need to be monitored- things that affect your liver, or possible addictive drugs, or ones that interact with other drugs or affect your blood pressure. I get it- its just that Allegra is not one of those. In fact, I suspect it will be over the counter in the next few months. Which is why I will just wait and muddle through and pray I don't get sick during springtime bloom out, just to avoid an unneccesary $150 doctor's appointment so I can get my $7 preventative prescription. An ounce of prevention is evidentally not as profitable for the doctor- he wants you to pay him for the pound of cure. Yippee.

From the paranoid conspiracy department

Every once in a while I exercise that part of my imagination that gets really excited by X-files. You know- alternate realties, sci-fi, star trekking type thoughts that massage the inner geek. Anyway, they often are accompanied by conspiratorial paranoias. Like this one, for example- what if, in a last desparate bid to fulfill the zero year curse of being shot or dying in office, George Bush gets taken out while touring the Middle East (I mean, he's had 7 years to reach out and do something, and he chooses NOW to go broker peace, what is that about?) And the resulting chaos means embassy after embassy is overrun and its a pretty big mess ( I mean the Iranian tour boat companies have already declared themselves ready for a fight). So, our buddy and now president Dick Cheney locks and loads, declares a state of emergency and keeps himself in power past the elections (or ala Pakistan, he simply suspends elections and nominates himself Lord Cheney). I'm reminded of the complicated but well written scene in Star Wars 2 or 3...Lord Palpatine takes over in the Senate and gains absolute powers to mount a war, and amidst the applause and cheers Queen Amidala is savvy enough to say "So this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause?" I mean, I seriously doubt there would be a huge upswelling of resistance outside of California, as long as everyone got to keep their Wiis and still had chicken mcnuggets to eat.... Oh wait, that's the hopelessly cynical part of my brain coming out to play...it's really good friends with the aforementioned inner geek parts. Well, here's saying I told you so on the 1% chance that Nostradamus and I are proven right....and otherwise, well it would make a good plot line for Doonesbury.

Lido....oh oh oh oh! Shuffle?

I’ve been complaining that I haven’t had time to blog. Now here I am on a cruise, nothing to do and plenty of time, and somehow…not much to say. I’m sure I’ll find a way to fill up a lot of space though. I did get to catch up with some of the ex-counselor types from Camp Weed in Jacksonville the day we left on the cruise. Awesome to see them all and to chat. Loved getting Zach’s reaction that we were going on a cruise in the first place. He’s right in some ways- weird for us to just sit around drinking “bahama mamas” and sitting in deck chairs. Actually, we’ve rarely sat in deck chairs. We did spend one evening in the hot tub by ourselves enjoying a ‘goombay punch’ but not much more. The closest we’ve come is yesterday’s outing in Nassau, which was sitting on a white sand Caribbean beach in a lounge chair drinking a daiquiri and reading a book. And yes, there was a Lido deck on the ship where the pool, hot tubs and shuffleboard were located as well as were they held a hairy chest competition and a midnight buffet.

It has actually been a little disconcerting, after being very intentional for quite a while about being low-environmental impact, low consumeristic, and trying hard to get the kids out of a enjoy now pay later existence to really just kick back and enjoy the cruise. There are all sorts of issues that pop up- like leaving the kids for 6 days; the carbon footprint of a cruise ship on a fragile tropical environment (all though it could be seen as one heck of a ride-share program); the exploitation of local and native cultures; the propagation of stereotypes that you can only have fun if you are drinking; the constant drone of amusement to dull the senses of anything that might not be ‘happy’; and the general eating and drinking oneself into an unhealthy state, because, its all been paid for and it is right in front of you. I could go on, but then I risk really damning myself and getting depressed.

It has also been a great chance to talk to people from other places, albeit everyone seems to have an understanding about never talking politics or any unpleasant topics. It has also been good to see places I might never otherwise see- Key West, Nassau, Bahamas and the wide open Atlantic Ocean (how is it we settled the whole continent by sailing over on boats the size of double-wide?) Mostly, it’s been an incredible chance to spend time alone with my husband and be able to have a conversation where we can complete our sentences without interruption. We may not have done too many things…but we did nothing together, and that, as the mastercard commercial would say, has been priceless.

You always take the weather with you

So my husband is an official groupie of these New Zealand/Aussie guys- the Finn brothers and specifically Neil Finn. He also gets all the stuff they've ever done recorded or live and videos too. This goes for their bands Crowded House and Split Enz as well. I have grown to like them as well, but not in quite the hold up your lighter at a concert way. They have a song that is pretty short and the boys like it alot- it says "Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you". I've decided that has become the Lipscomb theme song. When we take big trips, meteorological things happen.
We first noticed last year when we got caught in the blizzard of the century in Albuquerque, NM. We went to Buffalo in August and they had record heat. And then last week we went to San Diego and they had a record rainstorm. Thankfully, everything seems to be getting less as we go along. The downside is that we seem only to have brought record drought to our homestate. Hmm.
I think if the drought gets much worse in NE Georgia, the city of Atlanta should pay to have several large icebergs towed/barge shipped down the Atlantic coast from Canada and up the Savannah river and then airlifted to Lake Lanier. Maybe that would make their Beluga whales happier....(they have lost two in the Atlanta aquarium this year). Well, its no sillier than some other ideas!
So, we're working on our marketing ploy- we'll bring some meteorological something to your town in exchange for a free vacation. We'll have to work on our slogan, but at least we've got a theme song!

Holy randomness- it's Back-blog!

I'm tired of being too busy to blog like I want to. There is a backlog of blog ideas (can that be my new word: backblog?) building up in my head and on my I-phone. So, I decided to just publish whatever I had- half finished or not (that explains the post below.) So, maybe you can finish the stories or weave together the random thoughts to try and figure out where I was going with that...in the meanwhile, I will have at the very least had one post in all of November. And since noone is really reading them anyway, I'm good! More randomness from my backblog coming soon to an overpopulated blogosphere near you.